Hot vampire

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Hot vampire
Monster ID 1412
Locations Dreadsylvanian Castle
Hit Points 800
Attack 500
Defense 500
Initiative 25
Meat None
Phylum undead
Elements hot
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
Freddy Kruegerand, Dreadsylvanian Almanac page, vial of hot blood
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
hot vampire You're fighting Aurelia Coalwing

As you enter the room, a vampiress (vampitrix? vamperson?) rises languidly from the sofa she was reclining on and approaches you. You raise your weapon, but the red glints in her eyes make you dizzy, and you find yourself unable to attack. She makes an odd gesture, and you suddenly feel unusually warm. You touch your forehead, and discover that you're running a blazing fever. "What... what are you doing?" you gasp at her.

"Heating up your blood," she says matter-of-factly. "I'm not going to just drink it cold, that's gross."

You gather all your strength and launch yourself at her, desperately.

Hit Message(s):

She doesn't want to set the world on fire, just you and all of your blood. Argh! Oof! (hot damage)

Her eyes set your heart on fire. Not metaphorically. Argh! Oof! (hot damage)

The vampire turns into mist. Wait, that's not mist; it's boiling-hot steam! Ooh! Argh! (hot damage)

The vampire taunts you with insults and imprecations that make your blood boil. Just how she likes it. Ouch! Ow! (hot damage)

She throws a fireball at you. Goodness graciAAAAAA I'M ON FIRE Oof! Eek! (hot damage)

She gives you a bad case of heartburn. I don't mean, like, acid reflux. I mean your heart is actually burning. Ouch! Oof! (hot damage)

Critical Hit Message:

The vampire turns your blood into steam and inhales it from your neck like a weird fleshy hookah. Ow! Oof! Oof! Ow! (hot damage)

Miss Message(s):

The vampire tries to boil your blood with insults, but you feel pretty lukewarm about it.

She tries to set your heart on fire, but you're married to your job.

The vampire tries to boil your blood with insults, but you feel pretty lukewarm about it.

She tries to register a fire insurance policy on you, but you refuse to sign the form.

She tries to throw a fireball at you, but fortunately she throws like a gi- like someone who isn't good at throwing.

She gives you a bad case of heartburn, but fortunately it's just the regular sort. Urp.

Fumble Message:

There is a brief sizzle as the vampire accidentally bites her own tongue. It's an accidental dental incident. (FUMBLE!)

Special Move(s):

The vampire turns into mist. Wait, that's not mist; it's boiling-hot steam!

HPYou lose 1-10 hit points.
HPEnemy regains 10 HP

After Combat

Dv krueggerand.gifYou acquire an item: Freddy Kruegerand
Dv recipe.gifYou acquire an item: Dreadsylvanian Almanac page (.1% chance)*
Dv hotblood.gifYou acquire an item: vial of hot blood (.1% chance)*
Dv mark5.gifYou acquire an item: Mark of the Vampire
You gain 87.5 <substat>.

Occurs at Dreadsylvanian Castle


HPYou lose Y hit points. (hot damage)
  • Every round, vampires suck your blood, healing themselves.
    • The vampire turns into mist. Wait, that's not mist; it's boiling-hot steam!
    • The vampire's red-hot fangs turn your blood to steam on contact.
    • The vampire breathes down your neck with blistering, bloody breath.
    • The vampire's red-hot fangs cauterize the wounds they make as she bites you.
    • The vampire brands you with her scorching-hot fangs.
    • The vampire spikes you with a steaming fang and scorches and sucks your blood.
    • Your blood boils as the vampire sucks some of it out of you.
    • The vampire's red-hot, claw-like fingernails rake deep, steaming scratches down your face.
  • The name, image, and introduction text of this monster are all randomly selected:

This room is brightly-lit to the point of being blinding, with burning candles packed together on every shelf and every surface, even arrayed about the floor. A vampire is sitting meditatively in the middle of it all, her skin pale and ghoulish in the harsh light.

"So, uh, what's up?" you ask, as she slowly rises to her feet. "Is this something you do because you miss being able to go out in the sun, or something?"

"Fire is the key to all life!" she hisses. "Fire is life!"

"Ah. Okay, well, I'll just leave you to it, then..."

"No! Stay! Experience life with me!"

"I'd really rather not..."

As you enter the room, the heat hits you like a punch in the gut. You can barely see from the hot white mist that fills the room, and you hear the sizzle of boiling water. It seems like this place has been fitted out to be a steam room, and the occupant has set it to maximum.

"Close the door please, you'll let out all the warmth," you hear behind you, and turn to see a sultry-looking lady vampire, naked except for family-friendly wisps of opaque steam. Assuming you're into lady vampires, she'd be quite a sight, if you didn't feel like you were about to pass out and/or throw up.

You quickly take a step back as a fireball whizzes past your nose and leaves a black scorch mark on the corridor wall. "Rats," grumbles the vampire that threw it at you. "Hold still."

"What are you doing?" you ask. "I thought you were all blood-drinkers."

"Of course we are," she says. "But it's easier to get it out of you if you're dead first. Plus a little smoke flavors the..."

"Okay, never mind."

Deep in the winding corridors of the castle, you encounter the hottest vampire you've ever seen. I mean, she is smoking hot, and the fire in her eyes flares with the intensity of her burning passion. The heat of her glare sets your very soul ablaze.

And yes, I meant all of that literally.