Hippy Talkin'
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- First time:
You approach the source of the smoke signals, and see a haggard, dirty hippy staring sullenly into a dying campfire.
Excitement widens his bloodshot eyes as he sees you. "Oh hey, oh wow, thank Gaia you're here, man. You gotta help me out, man!"
| What's the problem? |
"I came over here to protest the opening of the landfill, and now I'm stuck here, man!" continues the hippy.
| Landfill? |
"You mean... the old landfill? The one that's been here for like thirty years? I don't even know where it is, because everybody stopped using it like eight years ago when Seaside Town started dumping all of their garbage into the ocean."
The hippy blushes. "Yeah, man. Like, our intelligence was a little bit out of date."
| How did you get stuck here? |
"How did you get here, and why are you stuck?"
"Well, that's a funny story," says the hippy. "I made a boat out of banana leaves, and after I landed and found out it was too late to protest the landfill, I got bored so I smoked some of the boat to see if it would do anything."
| Did it? |
"And... did it?"
"Did it what, man?"
| Did it do anything? |
"Did it do anything?" you ask, growing more impatient by the moment.
"Did what do anything?"
| Did it do anything when you smoked it? |
"Did... Sigh. Did it do anything to you, when you smoked part of your boat?"
"Oh, not that I can tell, man. I got really paranoid a few minutes ago, though, so I built this fire to get somebody's attention to help me. And I didn't want to do any damage to this beautiful forest, so I used the rest of the boat to build the fire."
| Brilliant. What do you need me to do? |
"Okay, okay, okay," you say. "What, specifically, do you need from me?"
"Oh, you're like, in a hurry? That's totally cool, man, I get that. I need you to go over to the landfill and find me a sustainable boat. Y'know, like reused, or recycled, or reduced or something. I'd do it myself, but the whole place is lousy with junksprites, and, like, I'm a relaxer, not a fighter, man."
"Alright. Point me at the landfill, and I'll see what I can do."
| New Area Unlocked | ||
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| You deserve this fate. I'm out of here. |
| Cut to the chase -- what do you need me to do? |
"Okay, okay, okay," you say. "What, specifically, do you need from me?"
"Oh, you're like, in a hurry? That's totally cool, man, I get that. I need you to go over to the landfill and find me a sustainable boat. Y'know, like reused, or recycled, or reduced or something. I'd do it myself, but the whole place is lousy with junksprites, and, like, I'm a relaxer, not a fighter, man."
"Alright. Point me at the landfill, and I'll see what I can do."
| New Area Unlocked | ||
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| That is a very sad story, but goodbye. |
"Hey, man, there's no need to be a bummer about it. I'll just wait for somebody less uptight to come along."
| Fat chance, hippy |
"Hey, man, there's no need to be a bummer about it. I'll just wait for somebody less uptight to come along."
- After returning, without the boat:
"Any luck finding me a boat, man?"
| Still working on it. |
"Cool, man. Take your time. I'm having fun staring at the trees and stuff.";[sic]
- After returning, with the boat:
"Oh wow, man, that boat looks really eco-friendly! Come on, hop in, I'll show you where I live!"
Before you can say no, you've set sail (well, you've set cigar billboard, at least) to the Mysterious Island, home of the hippies and who knows what other godawful nonsense.
"I don't know how to thank you, man. We, like, don't have any possessions, or I'd give you a reward."
"You've got this cool boat," you suggest, trying to be helpful.
"Great idea, man! You should totally keep it! I probably oughtta stick closer to home from now on anyway, man."
Occurs at Smoke Signals.
Notes
- See the Hippy Boatman Quest for spoilers on the quest related to this adventure.
