High priest of Ki'rhuss
|High priest of Ki'rhuss|
|Locations||The Jungles of Ancient Loathing: Ancient Temple (unlocked) with memory of a cultist's robe equipped|
|Monster Parts||arm, head, leg, torso|
Krakrox stepped into the temple with the hood of his robe pulled low over his face. It was fortunate that the robe he'd found was large enough to disguise his muscular bulk, but then that was usually the case. Only once had he tried to infiltrate a temple full of cultists and been unable to get a suitable robe, and those guys had been gnomes.
Holding up the glowing blue crystal from the wumpus's lair and trying not to look at the engravings on the walls, you make your way through the gloomy stone hallways, following the sound of voices in the distance (against your better judgment). They lead you to a massive stone door, engraved with a scene of tiny robed figures, their arms raised in benediction to a humongous tentacled monstrosity that arches above them, blotting out the sky. Its single gigantic eye reminds of you an amoeba, oddly enough. Shuddering, you push the door open as quietly as possible, slipping the blue crystal into your pocket as you enter a crowded auditorium-like room. Stepping unobtrusively (you hope) along the side of the crowd and muttering along with their indecipherable chanting, you make your way to the front of the chamber.
The scene was lit by two huge bronze braziers, burning with eerie blue flames. The altar was black stone, and a pale figure was draped limply over it, her simple white cotton gown clinging to her thin form, her hair cascading to the floor in long blonde waves. Above her towered a cyclopean (in both senses) obsidian statue, a depiction of the amorphous tentacled behemoth worshiped by the cultists. Krakrox made a mental note that the eye of the statue appeared to be a single gigantic blood-red ruby, its facets glinting strangely in the blue light.
Behind the altar a robed man, presumably the high priest, gestures expansively with a wicked, thin-bladed knife and shouts to the heavens: "Iä to our great dark lord! Iä to the Plaguebearer! Iä Ki'rhuss! Iä! Iä! The time is nigh! The souls you have taken with your plague have fed you, your power and will have grown! On this night, the stars are aligned for your passage to our world, and on this night I open the door to you! Iä Ki'rhuss! With this sacrifice," he shouts, holding the dagger above the chest of the girl on the altar, "I bring you to us!"
"Not if I have anything to say about it," growled Krakrox as he pulled back his hood and tore the sleeves from his robe. "And I do. It's 'oh no you won't, either.'"
"An interloper!" the priest screeches, spinning to face you. "Seize him!"
"Come and get some!" Krakrox shouted, as he drew his sword.
The priest knocks your weapon to the side and gashes you with his dagger. Ow! Eek! Oof!
The priest's knife sliced Krakrox across the forearm as he thrust it up to protect his face. Ow! Ooh! Ouch!
"You cannot stop us, interloper! This world belongs to Ki'rhuss!" the priest shouts as he slashes your <bung> with his dagger. Oof! Ouch! Ugh!
The priest feinted with his dagger and then chopped Krakrox in the throat inOoh! Eek! Ooh!with the side of his hand as the barbarian dodged. Krakrox reeled slightly, gasping for breath.
You scream as the priest's knife slides between two of your ribs. "I dedicate your death to the Dark Lord Ki'Rhuss!" he cackles. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!
Krakrox spun and ducked beneath one of the statue's stone tentacles as the priest lunged at him with his dagger.
The priest's dagger glances off of the statue of Ki'rhuss, throwing off blue sparks as you dodge.
Blue sparks showered the combatants as Krakrox parried the priest's dagger with his sword.
Blue light glints on the edge of the priest's dagger as he thrusts it at you, but you parry the blow with your <weapon>.
The priest rants about the inevitability of your utter destruction for a moment. (FUMBLE!)
The priestsraised his hands, calling upon the wrath of his terrible god. "Ki'rhuss! Come to the the aid of your loyal servant! Smite this interloper who dares to obstruct your arrival on this plane!" Arcing bolts of blue electricity lanced from the priest's fingertips, and Krakrox howled as they crackled across his chest, sapping his life-energy. The priest laughed maniacally as his wounds began to heal.
|You lose some Mana Points.|
Krakrox hurled the priest's body into the crowd of cultists, who scattered in fear. The girl on the altar stirred and lifted her head groggily as the barbarian approached. "Who... what?"
"Be still, girl," Krakrox muttered as he picked up the priest's dagger and began to pry the giant ruby eye from the statue of Ki'rhuss. "You're in no more danger, and I'll have you out of here soon." With a final twist, the ruby came free. The barbarian turned it over in his hands, regarding it for a long moment, his eyes narrowed. Finally, he wrapped it in the remains of his cultist robe and stashed it in the bottom of his pack. "Right, let's go," he said, turning to the girl, who was getting to her feet shakily. "Can you walk?"
"I... I think so," she says, taking hold of your arm.
"You're a Pork Elf," you say, noting the delicate points of her ears. "What tribe?"
"Proscuitto. Our village is in the southwestern part of the jungle."
"I know of it. Let's get you home, then."
The chief of the Proscuitto Tribe turned out to be the girl's father, unsurprisingly. He and the other villagers thanked Krakrox gratefully, threw a feast in his honor, and gifted him with a piece of armor, elegantly crafted by the tribe's finest artisans. Then, the barbarian returned to Seaside Village. Unwrapping the ruby eye, he gave it another long look; it glinted unpleasantly in the moonlight, and almost seemed to throb in Krakrox's hands. He rewrapped it, tightly, and buried it deep behind his hut. As an afterthought, he left the Pork Elf armor in the hole as well, since he had no use for such things. Then, he turned in for a night's sleep, satisfied that he had earned it -- it wasn't every day that you prevented an ancient cult from summoning a horrible Plague God into this plane of reality, after all. And if this prevention should prove to merely be a postponement, well, that would be a problem for another mighty warrior, in an age yet to come. Good luck to him, Krakrox thought, for he would surely need it.
|You gain some <substat>.|
Occurs in as a choice of Ancient Temple (unlocked).
- Like the Boss Bat, the MP stolen is returned to the high priest of Ki'rhuss as HP.
- Prosciutto is an Italian word for ham, but maybe it's the Pork Elves that can't spell.
- Ki'rhuss and his cultists bear significant resemblance to those of the Cthulhu mythos, especially in the use of the phrase "Ia Ki'rhuss!" and mention of the stars being right.
- Ki'rhuss is the mispronounced name of Cyrus the Virus.
- The final battle may also reference The Eye of Argon, widely heralded as the worst fantasy novel ever. The plot involves the barbarian Grignr trying to prevent a beautiful young woman from being sacrificed to a statue with one eye made of a "many fauceted scarlet emerald," the titular Eye of Argon.