Hideous slide show
Hideous slide show | |
---|---|
Monster ID | 1039 |
Locations | CRIMBCO Cubicles |
Hit Points | 10 |
Attack | 10 |
Defense | 10 |
Initiative | 100 |
Meat | None |
Phylum | Indeterminate |
Elements | None |
Resistance | None |
Monster Parts | Indeterminate |
Manuel Entry | |
refreshedit data |
Muster up all of the attention span you have, and see if you can disconnect the part of your brain that critiques visual input: Mr. Mination has sent everyone a huge slide show presentation to watch as part of his ongoing employee enrichment program. All of the slides have a lime green background with huge block paragraphs of neon yellow text in a font comically lacking serifs.
And just in case you were going to let your mind wander, he's included a droning narration of all of the information that's on the slides in the first place. I mean, seriously. What's the point of that?
Hit Message(s):
The narration is so boring that you smack your head with the heel of your hand to stay awake. Ow!
You stand up and applaud when a "THE END" slide pops up, then crash to the floor when the next slide says "Appendix I." Ouch!
A slide combines clip art, multiple exclamation points, and an embedded MIDI file. Your brain dies a little. Ow!
The searing yellow text dries your eyeballs to the consistency of raisins. Oof!
Mr. Mination attempts some topical humor in the next slide, by having a picture of a cat with the caption "ZOMG TEH CAKE IS LIE." The force of the stupidity hits you like a ton of stupid, stupid bricks.Argh! Ouch!
You blink rapidly to try and mitigate the pain from the yellow text.
You mentally autotune the narration into a funny song
The zoom transition from one slide to the next is actually kind of entertaining.
You take a little nap with your eyes open. It's not refreshing, but at least it's not soul-crushing.
The spell animating the slide show crashes and the whole thing has to reload. On the plus side, you get a temporary reprieve. On the minus side, it'll probably start over from the beginning. (FUMBLE!)
Boredom +1%
An elf on roller skates whizzes by and tosses you a 20-scrip note. "That slide show looked brutal -- there's some hazard pay for ya!" he says, skating away.
![]() | You acquire 20 CRIMBCO scrip |
Occurs at CRIMBCO Cubicles.
Notes
- Transcendent Olfaction can be used on this monster to increase scrip drops while adventuring in the CRIMBCO Cubicles.
- This monster cannot be copied.
References
- The font spoken of in the description is the dreaded Comic Sans.
- "TEH CAKE IS A LIE" line is a reference to both LOLCats and Portal.