Hideous slide show

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Hideous slide show
Monster ID 1039
Locations CRIMBCO Cubicles
Hit Points 10
Attack 10
Defense 10
Initiative 100
Meat None
Phylum Indeterminate
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts Indeterminate
Drops
20 CRIMBCO scrip
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
hideous slide show You're fighting a hideous slide show

Muster up all of the attention span you have, and see if you can disconnect the part of your brain that critiques visual input: Mr. Mination has sent everyone a huge slide show presentation to watch as part of his ongoing employee enrichment program. All of the slides have a lime green background with huge block paragraphs of neon yellow text in a font comically lacking serifs.

And just in case you were going to let your mind wander, he's included a droning narration of all of the information that's on the slides in the first place. I mean, seriously. What's the point of that?

Hit Message(s):

The narration is so boring that you smack your head with the heel of your hand to stay awake. Ow!

You stand up and applaud when a "THE END" slide pops up, then crash to the floor when the next slide says "Appendix I." Ouch!

A slide combines clip art, multiple exclamation points, and an embedded MIDI file. Your brain dies a little. Ow!

The searing yellow text dries your eyeballs to the consistency of raisins. Oof!

Critical Hit Message:

Mr. Mination attempts some topical humor in the next slide, by having a picture of a cat with the caption "ZOMG TEH CAKE IS LIE." The force of the stupidity hits you like a ton of stupid, stupid bricks.Argh! Ouch!

Miss Message(s):

You blink rapidly to try and mitigate the pain from the yellow text.

You mentally autotune the narration into a funny song

The zoom transition from one slide to the next is actually kind of entertaining.

You take a little nap with your eyes open. It's not refreshing, but at least it's not soul-crushing.

Fumble Message:

The spell animating the slide show crashes and the whole thing has to reload. On the plus side, you get a temporary reprieve. On the minus side, it'll probably start over from the beginning. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Boredeyes.gif Boredom +1%

An elf on roller skates whizzes by and tosses you a 20-scrip note. "That slide show looked brutal -- there's some hazard pay for ya!" he says, skating away.

Scrip.gifYou acquire 20 CRIMBCO scrip

Occurs at CRIMBCO Cubicles.

Notes

References

  • The font spoken of in the description is the dreaded Comic Sans.
  • "TEH CAKE IS A LIE" line is a reference to both LOLCats and Portal.