Hermit factoid

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hermit factoid
hermit factoid

This little scrap of paper contains an important or entertaining fact about The Hermit.

Type: usable
Selling Price: 37 Meat.

(In-game plural: hermit factoids)
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Item number: 8393
Description ID: 484177815
View in-game: view
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Obtained From

Deck of Every Card
Draw a Card (IX - The Hermit )

When Used

You read the factoid on the little sheet of paper:

Hermit Fact #1: The Hermit's beard conceals a second, larger beard.
Hermit Fact #2: Hermitry is an ancient art, but The Hermit was the first to practice it. He's super old.
Hermit Fact #3: Every culture eventually produces a Hermit, but only the culture of Loathing produced The Hermit.
Hermit Fact #4: How does the Hermit keep his beard so long and matted and ratty-looking? The answer may surprise you.
Hermit Fact #5: Every time the Hermit gets a new trinket from an adventurer, he soaks it in rubbing alcohol. He's not afraid of germs or anything (obviously), he just likes the smell and the cool tingly feeling on his hands.
Hermit Fact #6: Ready to have your mind blown? Get this: the Hermit doesn't make all of that stuff himself! Most of it is imported, and he's just a retail-level distributor! I know, I was shocked too.
Hermit Fact #7: Most people wonder what the Hermit does with all those worthless trinkets. But not me! I don't care at all!
Hermit Fact #8: If the Hermit comes out of his cave and sees his shadow, it means six more weeks of winter.
Hermit Fact #9: The Hermit grows ten-leaf clovers in a secret basement beneath his cave. They're albino cave clovers, and he colors them green with a felt-tip marker.
Hermit Fact #10: In case you were wondering: no, his actual name is not 'Jeff'.
Hermit Fact #11: Some people think the Hermit is actually the roundly-disliked revolutionary Frank Vivala. I cannot dispute the fact that some people think this.
Hermit Fact #12: Don't try to forge hermit permits; the Hermit is far too wily to be fooled by that kind of nonsense, and will probably report you to the Treasury Commission.
Hermit Fact #13: Every time you eat a raw jabañero pepper, a devil gets its pitchfork.
Hermit Fact #14: Almost every transaction the Hermit makes comes with a free flea.
Hermit Fact #15: Don't assume, just because the Hermit never talks, that he can't. In fact, he has a lovely mellifluous voice.

You are so surprised and/or appalled by what you've learned that you wad up the paper and throw it into an incinerator.


  • Fans of acrostics may get very excited by the factoids.


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