Hardcore Skill Analysis

This page is in need of content. Missing class skills: Skills from the Crimbo Factory Vending Machine: Mathematical Precision (T5?); Carols from the Crimbo Town Gift-O-Mat; Shattering Punch

This article is written with Hardcore players in mind, but much of it is also applicable to softcore ascenders.

Introduction

This is a listing of all the skills available in the game, arranged into tiers based on how useful they are at speeding up a hardcore ascension. In general, these recommendations are aimed at no-path ascensions, with no restrictions on food, booze, or item use. Players who plan to do pathed runs should pay attention to restrictions that will limit or prevent a skill's application.

That said, players planning pathed runs might want to pick up the Tier 1 skills anyway. Skills like Pastamastery speed up no-path runs so much that they'll save you a lot of time in building up the skill base for your Oxygenarian runs. For Tier 2 and beyond, it may be better to focus on skills that you will be able to use on your intended path.

Skills whose value is regularly debated are marked with a *, and you should read the Controversial Skills section for additional information about their rankings.

Skill Categories
Category	Symbol	Definition
Damage		guarantees improved damage or deals damage
Survival		guarantees an improved survival chance during combats or certain tests
Flexibility		gives you additional items, meat, familiar weight, MP or more options
Turn Management		guarantees spending fewer turns during a run or increases the adventures per day
Healing		can restore HP
Special		improves your run in a unique way, like +substats and... stuff

Skills that can be received during limited-time content or in-season challenge paths as well as past Mr. Store skillbooks will not be available during the current in-season challenge path, once they reach a certain age.

Limited-time content

2022 or older content	No longer available in in-season challenge paths.
2023 content	Will not be available in in-season challenge paths in 2026 or later.
2024 content	Will not be available in in-season challenge paths in 2027 or later.
2025 content	Will not be available in in-season challenge paths in 2028 or later.

Tier 1

Skills generally considered to be essential for Hardcore
Skill Name	Class (Level)	Type	MP Cost	Category	Description
Advanced Saucecrafting	(5)	Passive and Non-Combat	10		Allows you to create scrumptious reagents (3 per day) at the cost of 10 MP, and use them to cook reagent dishes and potions. Reagent dishes are generally considered a better use, but strategic use of potions can be very helpful for Safe Adventuring in high level areas. Milk of magnesium is also essential for all food runs and can be made early on in each run.
Pastamastery	(5)	Passive and Non-Combat	10		Allows you to create dry noodles (3 per day) at the cost of 10 MP and to cook noodle dishes. Noodle dishes are an amazing improvement to any ascender's diet and give many more adventures than most other foods you can cook in-run. Allows you to make even better dishes when combined with Advanced Saucecrafting or Transcendental Noodlecraft (Reagent dishes and scrumdiddlyumptious noodles, respectively).
The Ode to Booze	(12)	Buff	50		Gives you 5-20 adventures of the Ode to Booze effect, which gives you extra adventures from booze at a rate of one adventure per drunkenness, but reducing the buff by one turn per extra adventure. It is an extremely costly buff and may be impossible to cast early in a run for players without Mojo Melody or MP increasing passives, especially since getting full use of it requires multiple castings. Despite that, it can easily generate 15-29 adventures a day, depending on how over-drunk you get (highest being with bucket of wine).
Advanced Cocktailcrafting	(5)	Passive and Non-Combat	10		Allows you to create a random selection of 3 little paper umbrellas, coconut shells and handfuls of magical ice cubes per day. You can use these ingredients to make advanced drinks. This skill is a must for all no-path and – of course – Boozetafarian ascenders. If you have access to one or more IotM sources for booze (such as the Camp Scout backpack, A Speakeasy or a Fist Turkey), perming this skill becomes less important.
Perfect Freeze	The Fun-Guy Cold Weather Bartender's Guide	Non-Combat	5		Allows you to summon a perfect ice cube which can be mixed with any of the six base booze to create a 3 drunkenness EPIC booze once per day. With its relatively cheap skillbook and cheap MP cost, Perfect Freeze is a potent booze source for any adventurer. Combined with Ode to Booze, you get more adv/drunkenness than what you usually get in-run.

Tier 2

Skills that make combat or quests dramatically easier
Skill Name	Class (Level)	Type	MP Cost	Category	Description
Superhuman Cocktailcrafting	(15)	Passive	N/A		Increases the number of cocktail items you can summon with Advanced Cocktailcrafting from 3 to 5 per day, making it possible to fill up your liver with high-quality drinks every day, and increasing your chances of making drinks that target your desired stat. If you're playing a Moxie class, you can also improve basic booze and mixers up to 10 times a day. This allows you to make superhuman cocktails, and to upgrade soda water to tonic water, which restores up to 10x as many MP. If you have access to a shrine to the Barrel god, then this skill becomes more important because you can get SHC base drinks from big tuns.
Saucemaven	(11)	Passive	N/A		Adds extra adventures to reagent pastas and hi meins eaten. 5 adventures per dish for Mysticality classes, 3 adventures for Muscle and Moxie classes. As soon as reagent pastas become available, that means up to 9 or 15 extra adventures per day.
Smooth Movement	(14)	Non-combat	10		Gives you 10 adventures where the likelihood of non-combat adventures is increased by 5%. Speeds up numerous quests, such as the Friars or the Beanstalk. You will also get more stat noncombats while powerleveling in the Spookyraven Manor. Cheaper than Sonata, and doesn't take up a song slot. On the flip side, you can't shrug off Smooth Movements until you've permed Musk of the Moose.
The Sonata of Sneakiness	(13)	Buff	20		Gives you 5-20 adventures where the likelihood of non-combat adventures is increased by 5%. See description for Smooth Movement for notes on where this skill is useful.
Amphibian Sympathy	(3)	Passive	N/A		Increases familiar level by 5. Less important now that a number of IOTM familiars have useful abilities that don't scale with weight.
Torso Awaregness		Passive	N/A		Allows the use of shirts. With the Valhalla revamp, having this skill permed will allow the player to take astral shirt, which gives bonus substats after combat and some Prismatic Damage, dramatically speeding up the run as well as providing some help in combat (particularly against physical immunes like protector spirits). When enough skills are developed to handle astral belt instead of taking the shirt, this skill still allows more ML from a hipposkin poncho, or the same substat bonus from a sugar shirt (albeit only temporarily), as well as more defense in general.
Mad Looting Skillz	(8)	Passive	N/A		Increases item drops by 20%. One of the better passives in the game, as it will dramatically speed up several quests and gives you more items that can be autosold for meat.
The Moxious Madrigal	(1)	Buff	2	Moxie classes	Gives +10 Moxie for 5-20 turns. This buff is the cornerstone of the plinking strategy that nearly every player uses through the first few levels. However, this skill becomes nearly unnecessary if you have access to a clan VIP lounge, since the clan-fortune teller gives a much better buff that will allow you to power past the early levels where this skill is relevant.
The Magical Mojomuscular Melody	(2)	Buff	3	Mysticality classes	Gives you 5-20 adventures of the Magical Mojomuscular Melody effect (+10 Myst, +20 maximum MP). Allows casting expensive buffs during the early turns of play, such as Ode to Booze on day one. The increase in max MP also allows for greater use of MP restorers such as tonic waters.
Snokebomb	Training scroll: Snokebomb	Combat	50		Allows you to banish up to 3 enemies daily, for 30 adventures. The only other banishers available for non-iotm-having players is Harold's Bell which is only available once per ascension or Batter Up! which is only available for Seal Clubbers, so this skill is definitely worth picking up if you want to cut a few adventures. Especially useful for speeding up The Bounty Hunter's quests so getting Transcendent Olfaction isn't as adventure-consuming.

Tier 3

Skills that improve survival or otherwise aid a run
Skill Name	Class (Level)	Type	MP Cost	Category	Description
Fat Leon's Phat Loot Lyric	(7)	Buff	11		Increases item drop rate by 20% for 5-20 turns. Improving the drop rate is a very useful ability, and is usually worth a song slot.
Leash of Linguini	(11)	Non-combat	12		Gives 10 adventures of the Leash of Linguini effect (+5 familiar level). Less expensive than Empathy of the Newt and does not require a totem, though self-buff only. Less important now, see Amphibian Sympathy entry for why.
Tao of the Terrapin	(15)	Passive	N/A	Turtle Tamers	Doubles the power of your hat and pants for calculating Damage Absorption and specialized Turtle Tamer attacks (doesn't double stat increases and other enchantments). Particularly useful in Turtle Tamer runs if combined with Headbutt and Kneebutt. This is the best damage absorption skill available, especially at higher levels, significantly reducing the damage taken from every monster hit.
Lunging Thrust-Smack	(10)	Combat	8	non-Myst classes	A very powerful melee combat skill. LTS deals triple your weapon's damage, and if you're a Seal Clubber, your Bonus Weapon Damage (both physical and elemental) are tripled as well. Your chances to hit are calculated as if your buffed muscle were 30% higher (or 25% when not a Seal Clubber), or 30 points higher, whichever is greater. Damage is also calculated off this increased muscle. Seal Clubbers will always hit an opponent with this skill as long as they're wielding a club in their main hand.
Hero of the Half-Shell	(14)	Passive	N/A	non-Moxie classes	Calculates damage reduction based on your Muscle instead of your Moxie when you have a shield and your Muscle is higher. This dramatically decreases damage for Muscle classes, making them less dependent on healing at higher monster levels, and supports Turtle Tamers that like to use Shieldbutt. This skill can also benefit Mysticality classes as well, compounding their defenses from both increased HP and decreased damage taken, although they're unable to have a spellbook on their off-hand to do so.
Springy Fusilli	(6)	Non-combat	10	Moxie classes	Gives you 10 adventures of the Springy Fusilli effect (+40% combat initiative). This combat initiative is very helpful for fragile Mysticality classes. It can also indirectly increase item drops for Moxie classes and others who are able to pickpocket. It speeds The Defiled Alcove by making modern zmobies more likely.
Ur-Kel's Aria of Annoyance	(15)	Buff	30		Gives you 5-20 adventures where monster level is increased by 2*your level, which increases stat gains. Not advisable for those without the combat skills to handle high-ML monsters. However, it's useful for backfarming in low-level areas and for reaching thresholds for zones that take less turns to complete with higher ML.
Disco Fever	(13)	Non-combat	10	Moxie classes	Increases your Moxie by 10% and Ranged Damage by 10. Besides the increased dodging chance and damage decrease for all classes, Moxie classes can increase their damage output with this skill.
Rage of the Reindeer	(11)	Non-combat	10		Gives you 10 Adventures of the Rage of the Reindeer effect (+10% Muscle and +10 melee damage). Best used for Muscle classes that need a bit of extra damage to one-shot monsters.
The Power Ballad of the Arrowsmith	(4)	Buff	5	Muscle classes	Gives you 5-20 adventures of the Power Ballad of the Arrowsmith effect (+10 Muscle, +20 HP). +10 Muscle can allow the player to hit with a melee weapon rather than resorting to an expensive combat skill. The great increase in HP can also help with survival and hitting opponents with physical attacks.
Expert Corner-Cutter	LyleCo Contractor's Manual	Passive	N/A		Gives you 5 free turns worth of free crafting, just like the older Rapid Prototyping below. Being virtually identical to Rapid Prototyping, it has the same advantages as that skill (which see).
Rapid Prototyping	Crimbot ROM	Passive	N/A		Gives you 5 free turns worth of free crafting. While it doesn't potentially give as much free crafting as Inigo's, it also doesn't have its very high MP Cost, which means you can craft items at low levels feasibly. This skill can save many turns over a run since a player may be able to forgo spending extra turns to farm a bartender and/or chef.
Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration	Traveling Trader	Buff	100		Grants 5-20 turns of Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration, which exchanges 5 turns of that buff for 1 turn of crafting. The high cost means The Magical Mojomuscular Melody and Wisdom of the Elder Tortoises are both recommended in order to cast this early on. Non-ATs can save up to 10 turns of crafting per day with this skill, and up to double that for ATs.

Tier 4

Skills that make some game portions easier or faster
Skill Name	Class (Level)	Type	MP Cost	Category	Description
Powers of Observatiogn		Passive	N/A		10% item drop rate increase. Not as useful as Mad Looting Skillz, but still a beneficial skill to have, even if you purchase it with extra Meat in the middle of your run.
Overdeveloped Sense of Self Preservation	(2)	Passive	N/A	Moxie classes	Increases combat initiative by 20%. Improved initiative is a huge advantage, especially for Muscle and Mysticality classes. This will help you get the jump on bosses and the Shadow, and give Moxie classes an edge with Pickpocketing.
Slimy Shoulders	Slime Tube	Passive	N/A	Moxie classes	Gives up to +20% combat initiative. It's a second Overdeveloped Sense of Self Preservation, essentially.
Thief Among the Honorable	(10)	Passive	N/A		5% item drop rate and 10% meat drop increase. See the description of Natural Born Scrabbler for notes on where this skill will be useful.
Nimble Fingers*	(6)	Passive	N/A		Meat drops from monsters are increased by 20%. Extra meat not only helps when returning meat to the nuns, but also offers extra resources for casting buffs or combat skills.
Saucestorm	(5)	Combat	6	Mysticality classes	Deals (20-24)+(0.2*Mys) twice in Cold then Hot damage, with a hard damage cap of 50 for each hit. An extremely efficient spell for use against elemental monsters, even against Hot monsters, especially when combined with bonus spell damage such as a cookbook Jackasses' Symphony and certain astral gear.
Flavour of Magic	(14)	Non-Combat	0	Mysticality classes	Specifies the type of elemental damage dealt by Pastamancer spells, and additionally adds 10 damage to all spells. Correctly setting the correct element will allow you to deal double damage in elementally-aligned locations. Though it does not change the element of Sauceror spells, the +10 spell damage bonus is helpful for non-Pastamancer Spells as well, especially since it doesn't cost any MP to activate.
Singer's Faithful Ocelot	Vending Machine	Non-Combat	15		Increase item drop rate by 10% for 10 turns. More expensive than Leon and only half as effective, but more item drop increase is always helpful.
Wisdom of the Elder Tortoises	(11)	Passive	N/A		Passively increases your maximum MP by 50%. Wisdom can free up a song slot from Mojo Melody earlier, reducing song juggling and saving MP in the process, and greatly aids Pastamancer for reaching the MP requirement for Thrall summons.
Inner Sauce	(4)	Passive	N/A		Grants passive 3-4 MP per Adventure to Saucerors, or 1 MP to non-Saucerors. Even as a non-Sauceror, free MP is always a good thing to have, even if it's just 1 per Adventure.
Pulverize	(15)	Passive	N/A		Lets you smash items into powders, nuggets and wads. Muscle classes can combine powders/nuggets into nuggets/wads at The Malus of Forethought. When combined with The Way of Sauce and Transcendental Noodlecraft, this can be moderately useful for Myst classes and Accordion Thieves who can make hi mein, mostly at higher levels where higher power weapons are available. Elemental powders offer elemental resistance to use against Lord Spookyraven's elemental attacks or to access Guano Junction.
Musk of the Moose	(14)	Non-combat	10		Gives you 10 adventures where you are 5% more likely to have combat adventures. Not as frequently useful as the skills that increase noncombats, but it can help speed up quests like Sonofa Beach, as well as many lucre bounties.
Carlweather's Cantata of Confrontation	(14)	Buff	20		Gives you 5-20 adventures where you are 5% more likely to have combat adventures. See description for Musk of the Moose for notes on where this skill is useful.
Speluck	Spelunker of Fortune	Passive	N/A		Grants a passive +5% Item Drops and +10% Meat Drops in underground zones. This skill can slightly speed things up in the couple of underground zones in-run. While difficult to obtain, there's zero drawbacks to having this skill.
Unaccompanied Miner	Uncle P's Quest	Passive	N/A		Saves at least 5 Adventures per ascension during the Mt. McLargeHuge Quest (Level 8). Also allows additional farming for ores from the Itznotyerzitz Mine and The Knob Shaft for Super-Advanced Meatsmithing or Armorcraftiness.

Tier 5

Very useful skills
Skill Name	Class (Level)	Type	MP Cost	Category	Description
Natural Born Scrabbler	Hobopolis	Passive	N/A		5% item drop rate increase. Not as useful as Mad Looting Skillz or Powers of Observatiogn, but still a beneficial skill to have, however minor the item drop increase.
The Way of Sauce*	(15)	Passive	N/A		Allows making hi-mein and Fine Potions. More importantly, allows you to summon 5 scrumptious reagents per day, which means you'll have extra philter of phorce or serum of sarcasm to use in tough fights. Allows transmutation of elemental wads, which is occasionally useful if you also have Rainbow Gravitation. Only Accordion Thieves, who have guild store infiltration, can actually create most Way of Sauce-potions during a hardcore run.
Transcendental Noodlecraft	(15)	Passive	N/A		Can make scrumdiddlyumptious noodles and hi mein dishes if you're a Mysticality class and have Pastamastery. While hi meins give one of the highest Adventure gains out of any foods when combined with Saucemaven (even if it costs an Adventure to make), Transcendental Noodlecraft dishes are not only expensive to craft, hi meins are uncraftable until late game when wads can be created from Pulverized equipment, not to mention only 2/6 classes can create them in the first place. It also allow you to summon 2 extra dry noodles per day, which allows more basic Pastamastery dishes to be made - useful before reagent pasta is available, and on Teetotaler ascensions.
Ambidextrous Funkslinging	(12)	Passive	N/A		Lets you use two items per round of combat. Using two divine items or love songs can quickly dispatch most bosses. Funkslinging two gauze garters or filthy poultices for two rounds will defeat your Shadow, remove the need for red pixel potions or scented massage oil.
Icy Glare	(3)	Non-Combat	10		Adds 10 Cold damage to your weapon damage and cold spells for 10 turns. A useful source of physical elemental damage, and more flexible than Snarl due to the general lack of Cold-aligned monsters. This buff is mutually exclusive with other facial expressions.
Snarl of the Timberwolf	()	Non-Combat	10		Adds 10 Spooky damage to your physical attacks for 10 turns. Useful against the protector spectres of the Hidden City, and for that matter, any monster that isn't of the Spooky element. This buff is mutually exclusive with other facial expressions.
Cannelloni Cocoon	(12)	Non-Combat	20		Heals up to 1000 HP for 20 MP. With 100+ HP, this healing skill is the most economical. Especially helpful for Muscle classes who have lots of HP. [Caveat, If going for a low skill (Scope/High ML level 30/speed dungeon run) this is the single best cost-efficient skill/item by a lot and should be rated top tier for these instances]
Armorcraftiness	(5)	Passive	N/A		Allows for the creation of a huge range of useful hats, pants/kilts, shields, shirts, and accessories. The only downsides are the turn-cost of smithing, stat requirements on the best items, and some animal skins aren't easy to acquire. The main uses are for making an early shield, various turtle-based equipments for Turtle Tamers, hipposkin poncho, and/or yak anorak, thus the skill is better if the adventurer also is aware of their torso.
Adventurer of Leisure	(9)	Non-Combat	11		The skill grants the ability to rest twice per day without using an adventure, which can provide significant free MP each day and effectively letting you remove Beaten Up twice per day for free. Much better with access to Chateau Mantegna. It will also make Disco Nap remove more effects and heal twice as much (40 HP for 8 MP) – upgrading it to the HP-wise most efficient early game healing skill.
Empathy of the Newt	(8)	Buff	15		Gives 5-20 adventures of Empathy effect (+5 familiar level). More expensive than Leash of Linguini. Because non-Tamers are unlikely to have an upgraded turtle totem, this skill is usually only cast when the player is using a fairy or has an excess of MP.
Elemental Saucesphere	(4)	Buff	10		Gives 5-20 adventures of Elemental Saucesphere effect (so-so protection from all elements). Also helps in completing the Mt. McLargeHuge Quest when taking the path of the Lair of the Ninja Snowmen and to further reduce the A-boo Peak's hauntedness using A-Boo clues during the Orc Chasm Quest.
Astral Shell	(12)	Buff	10		Gives you 5-20 adventures of the Astral Shell effect, with +80 Damage Absorption and Slight Elemental Resistance. Also helps in completing the Mt. McLargeHuge Quest when taking the path of the Lair of the Ninja Snowmen and to further reduce the A-boo Peak's hauntedness using A-Boo clues during the Orc Chasm Quest.
Slimy Synapses	Slime Tube	Passive	N/A		Gives up to +10 maximum MP. This is fairly good on Day 1 and 2, where most characters may be limited to what buffs they can use. Synapses can free up a song slot from Mojo Melody earlier, reducing song juggling and saving MP in the process.
Disco Smirk	(8)	Non-Combat	10	Moxie classes	Gives you 10 adventures of the Disco Smirk effect (+10 Moxie). Besides the increased dodging chance and damage decrease for all classes, Moxie classes can get a little more damage output with this skill. While this is the most interesting facial expression buff for most situations, the comparably high MP cost makes this an interesting but not essential perm candidate. This buff is mutually exclusive with other facial expressions.
Blubber Up	(3)	Non-combat	7	Moxie classes non-Muscle classes	+5 Moxie for 10 Adventures might not be as mighty as the Moxious Madrigal or Disco Smirk, but it can be used in addition (allowing for higher +ML) and doesn't use up the slot for a song or facial expression. However, Hero of the Half-Shell makes this skill a little less useful to Muscle classes and Mysticality classes, if they use a shield instead of a spellbook. See the description of The Moxious Madrigal for notes on where this skill will be useful.
Accordion Bash	(4)	Combat	5		Stuns opponent for 3 rounds if you currently have an accordion equipped. While the Accordion Thief is obviously getting the most benefit from this skill, he's benefiting the least from perming such a low leveled skill. However, if you are willing to sacrifice both hand slots for that antique accordion you already bought, you can use Accordion Bash as an inexpensive (but also inconvenient) stun for any class – especially Turtle Tamer and Disco Bandit.
Jackasses' Symphony of Destruction	(6)	Buff	9		Gives you 5-20 adventures of the Jackasses' Symphony of Destruction effect (+12 weapon and spell damage). This buff has a lot of flexibility, useful for both spellslinging and physical attacks.
Saucy Salve	(2)	Combat	4		Heals 10-15 damage in combat. Preferred over Lasagna Bandages because the first casting is a free combat round, and up to two more can sometimes be used without the enemy attacking. Useful against the Gremlins.
Grab a Cold One		Non-Combat	30		Allows you to summon a Cold One once a day for 30MP. This can give 4-7 Adventures for a single point of drunkenness if delayed long enough. Better than almost anything you can get in a run, will never fall out of Standard, and great when saved until at least Level 11.
Grease Up	Now You're Cooking With Grease	Non-Combat	15		Adds 15 Sleaze damage to your physical attacks for 10 turns. Compared to Icy Glare and Snarl, it gives just as much damage for the MP cost and, unlike those two skills, doesn't take up a facial expression. Best used for fighting Hippies or clearing the Friar's. Having this skill's effect active enables the 0 MP combat skill Unleash the Greash, which consumes all the remaining turns of the effect and deals a burst of Sleaze damage based on the turns removed.
Intimidating Mien	Merc Core Field Manual: Intimidation Techniques	Non-Combat	15		Adds 15 Spooky damage to your physical attacks for 10 turns. Compared to Icy Glare and Snarl, it gives just as much damage for the MP cost and, unlike those two skills, doesn't take up a facial expression. Having this skill's effect active enables the 0 MP combat skill Thousand-Yard Stare, which consumes all the remaining turns of the effect and deals a burst of Spooky damage based on the turns removed. While being not as useful during a run as Grease Up would be, the spooky damage will be doubled if you can tune a boss with a shard of double-ice.
Class-specific skills
Batter Up!	(11)	Combat	5 Fury	Seal Clubbers	Autokills a monster you use it on, banishing it for the rest of the day (requires a club equipped to use). If you banish a second monster the first one will start appearing again. It's basically reverse Transcendent Olfaction and some well aimed applications of this skill could speed up your run rather nicely. It's recommended to also have Ire of the Orca permed, as this skill cannot be used without it.
Ire of the Orca	(10)	Passive	N/A	Seal Clubbers Seal Clubbers	Increases your Fury capacity to the full 5 gallons, once you've learned/permed Wrath of the Wolverine. Whatever you want to do with Fury, this will make you do it better. The pre-requisite to Batter Up!, due to its Fury cost of 5.
Bind Spice Ghost	(15)	Non-Combat	250	Pasta- mancers	Allows Pastamancers to bind a Spice Ghost as their thrall. It grants +11-20% Item Drops, drops spices during combat starting at Level 5, and adds 1 extra turn of stun to Entangling Noodles. While the MP cost is prohibitively expensive early on, it's by far one of the most useful pasta thrall to have for general purposes.
Curse of Weaksauce	(12)	Combat	8	Saucerors	A Curse that delevels a monster by 3% of its original Attack value every turn. If a Sauceror lands a killing blow with a sauce spell, it restores MP equal to 30% of damage dealt, up to 50 MP. This skill allows Saucerors to maintain their MP almost infinitely.

Tier 6

Useful skills that are not as essential
Skill Name	Class (Level)	Type	MP Cost	Category	Description
Master of the Surprising Fist	Way of the Surprising Fist	Passive	N/A		Grants various bonuses to unarmed characters. The to-hit bonus, bonus weapon damage, and bonus damage reduction paired up with a Tome of Clip Art and Kung Fu Hustler prove to be very powerful combo early in a run for characters. Can be continued later into a run if a character forsakes their hand slots for a spell-slinging combat suite.
Drescher's Annoying Noise	Vending Machine	Non-combat	40		Increase Monster Level by 10 for 20 turns. Costs more MP than Ur-Kel's and is generally quite a bit less effective, though it doesn't take up a song slot. Can speed up a few areas in the game slightly and give a bit more stats in general, but excessive MP cost hinders its use.
Northern Exposure	(13)	Passive	N/A		Adds so-so cold resistance. The only cold damage that an adventurer will experience during combat is from Lord Spookyraven and Ninja Snowmen, thus this is the least useful elemental resistance skill. However, it greatly helps in completing the Mt. McLargeHuge Quest when taking the path of the Lair of the Ninja Snowmen. Also helpful to further reduce the A-boo Peak's hauntedness using A-Boo clues during the Orc Chasm Quest.
Saucegeyser	(11)	Combat	24	Mysticality classes	Deals (60-70)+(0.4*Mys) cold or hot damage (scales with Mysticality without a cap). This skill is expensive, but deals the highest elemental damage and will automatically tune itself for you. If you can use it with a Bandersnatch, it becomes a little bit easier to afford.
Testudinal Teachings	(9)	Passive	N/A		Gives 1 familiar experience every 6 combat adventures.
Patient Smile	(14)	Non-Combat	10		Grants 10 turns of Patient Smile effect (+1 Muscle Stats Per Fight). It adds a little bit of substats, useful for leveling early in the run, in the same way Aloysius' Antiphon of Aptitude does but far cheaper. This buff is mutually exclusive with other facial expressions.
Wry Smile	(13)	Non-Combat	10		Grants 10 turns of Wry Smile effect (+1 Mysticality Stats Per Fight). It adds a little bit of substats, useful for leveling early in the run, in the same way Aloysius' Antiphon of Aptitude does but far cheaper. This buff is mutually exclusive with other facial expressions.
Knowing Smile	(14)	Non-Combat	10		Grants 10 turns of Knowing Smile effect (+1 Moxie Stats Per Fight). It adds a little bit of substats, useful for leveling early in the run, in the same way Aloysius' Antiphon of Aptitude does but far cheaper. This buff is mutually exclusive with other facial expressions.
Song of the North		Non-Combat	100		Adds +100% weapon damage and +50 cold damage. Mostly useful for the elemental tower test, also has marginal use in the Tavern Cellar.
Song of Sauce		Non-combat	100		Gives +100% spell damage, +50 Hot Damage and +50 Hot Spell Damage. Single-handedly completes the Naughty Sorceress hot elemental test, but the main reason why this skill is good is because it makes Saucerors using Curse of Weaksauce return significantly more MP.
Song of Bravado		Non-combat	100		Gives +15% to all stats. Might be useful for the Naughty Sorceress stat test or getting more stats from scaling monsters.
Clobber	(0)	Combat	1		An auto-hit skill that does damage based on weapon power and bonus damage. Toss will do more damage early on in an ascension, but Clobber can surpass Toss in damage when provided with a good weapon and bonus damage sources. Monsters that have been softened up by stronger physical attacks or Cannon can be killed swiftly and efficiently with Toss or Clobber.
Toss	(0)	Combat	1		An auto-hit skill that does damage based on familiar weight. With a few familiar weight skills, can deal decent damage for minimal MP. Will do at least 9 damage with only Amphibian Sympathy active. Monsters that have been softened up by stronger physical attacks or Cannon can be killed swiftly and efficiently with Toss or Clobber.
Spirit of Ravioli	(9)	Passive	N/A		Increases your maximum HP by 25%. Extra HP will always be helpful, no matter what your current class is.
Pride of the Puffin	(15)	Non-combat	30		Increase Monster Level by 10 for 10 turns. Same as Drescher's Annoying Noise only with half the duration for 10 MP less, making its MP use even more excessive than Drescher's. See the description of Drescher's Annoying Noise for notes on where this skill will be useful.
Skin of the Leatherback	(2)	Passive	N/A		Reduces enemy damage by (level/2), rounding up DR. Not particularly powerful, but when stacked with a decent shield and good DA it takes the brunt off a lot of damage.
Shadow Noodles		Combat	30		Delevels an opponent by 8-10 and prevents him from attacking for 3-5 rounds, including the round Shadow Noodles was cast. Casting these noodles is significantly more expensive than healing damage after a battle and is only advisable if you couldn't win the fight in any other way. Mutually exclusive with Entangling Noodles, so using one skill also disables the other.
Entangling Noodles	(2)	Combat	3	non-Myst classes	For non-Pastamancers, this skill will only stagger but not stun monsters, granting those classes an additional deleveling component (8-10) in exchange. For Pastamancers this skill can be cast only once per combat and prevents an opponent from attacking for 2-4 rounds, including the round it was cast. Casting these noodles is usually cheaper than healing damage after a battle. Extremely useful for tough fights and especially when flyering. Mutually exclusive with Shadow Noodles, so using one skill also disables the other.
Sensitive Fingers	(14)	Passive	N/A	Moxie classes	Increases Pickpocket Chance by 10%. While this very useful for Moxie classes, other classes can't get any benefits from this, except through unconventional means.
Spaghetti Breakfast		Non-Combat	30		Allows you to summon a Spaghetti Breakfast once a day for 30MP. Spaghetti Breakfast grants 4-7 Adventures a day depending on level. Not as good as Grab a Cold One because only one Spaghetti Breakfast can be eaten daily and it has to be the first thing eaten that day, but is decent for what it does.
Master Accordion Master Thief	(13)	Passive	N/A	Moxie classes	Increases Pickpocket Chance by 10%. See the description of Sensitive Fingers for notes on where this skill will be useful.
Subtle and Quick to Anger	(12)	Passive	N/A	Mysticality classes	Increases your Spell Damage by 10%. Helps maximize your spell damage, since percentage spell damage multiplies your total damage and is rarer than flat spell damage.
Master Saucier	(10)	Passive	N/A	Mysticality classes	Increases your Spell Damage by 10%. Helps maximize your spell damage, since percentage spell damage multiplies your total damage and is rarer than flat spell damage.
Slimy Sinews	Slime Tube	Passive	N/A		Gives up to +20 maximum HP. It makes you feel invincible for the first few levels.
Expert Panhandling	(3)	Passive	N/A		Increase Meat drops by 10% or 15% if wielding a saucepan. Extra meat not only helps when returning meat to the nuns, but also offers extra resources for casting buffs or combat skills.
Thrift and Grift	Hobopolis	Passive	N/A		Increase Meat drops by 10%. Extra meat not only helps when returning meat to the nuns, but also offers extra resources for casting buffs or combat skills.
Gnefarious Pickpocketing		Passive	N/A		Increase Meat drops by 10%. Extra meat not only helps when returning meat to the nuns, but also offers extra resources for casting buffs or combat skills.
Mariachi Memory	(15)	Passive	N/A		Lets you hold an extra song in your head. Reduces song juggling for a bit, but most of the time you'll have a hard time finding a 4th song you would want to spend MP on to keep up a considerable amount of time. There are situations where this can be a useful MP saver, but they are rather scarce in the long run.
The Long View	(12)	Passive	N/A		Gives three extra adventures each rollover. Won't make or break a run but extra adventures are always useful. Better in HCO runs, due to their increased length.
Impetuous Sauciness*	(12)	Passive	N/A		Increases the duration of reagent potion effects by 5 adventures. Less useful since the milk of magnesium nerf.
Cannelloni Cannon	(4)	Combat	8	Mysticality classes	Deals (16-32)+(0.25*Mys) damage in a random element, hard capped at 50. Not as efficient as Saucestorm, but it's at least more effective vs. Hot monsters if you can tune it. However, Pastamancers should still use Cannelloni Cannon over Saucestorm since they can take advantage of Bringing Up the Rear and Thrall Unit Tactics, making it much more efficient.
Claws of the Walrus	(8)	Passive	N/A	non-Myst classes	Increases your weapon damage by 7. A nice addition to physical attacks, or plinking as a Moxie class, but a fairly low priority.
Tango of Terror	()	Combat	8		Does 15-18 Spooky damage and delevels the opponent by 8. Unlike other Disco Bandit delevelers, this skill can be cast as many times per combat as you like. Useful for plinking. Combine it with Ruthless Efficiency and/or Stealth Mistletoe for drastically improved deleveling.
Disco Dance 3: Back in the Habit	(11)	Combat	10	Disco Bandits	Does 25-27 damage, reduces monster level by 14 and builds up a point of Disco Momentum once per combat. Each point of Disco Momentum increases the damage dealt and deleveling by 9 points. It gives you you a good advantage over a monster for a relatively low MP cost, even as a non-DB. The choice between this and Disco Dance II should depend on the power of your equipment and the level of the monster.
Five Finger Discount	(7)	Passive	N/A		Items in NPC-stores cost will cost 5% less Meat. This doesn't make much of a difference, because the most things you will spend meat on during a hardcore ascension aren't affected by this. Only worth considering if you already maxed out all available forms of income increase.
Shieldbutt	(10)	Combat	10		This attack weakens your opponent, but can only be used if you have a shield. For Turtle Tamers this is a very powerful combat skill due to its (Turtle Tamer exclusive) auto-hit ability, allowing them to fight above their usual level. Combining this with Shadow Noodles or War Tortoise makes a powerful combat suite against monsters that overpower the Turtle Tamer by a long shot. This particular strategy can be greatly improved with additional weapon damage. This skill is enhanced by Butts of Steel.
Arched Eyebrow of the Archmage	(4)	Non-Combat	10	Mysticality classes	Grants 10 turns of Arched Eyebrow of the Archmage effect (+10 Spell Damage). Can be used if you need extra spell damage. This buff is mutually exclusive with other facial expressions.
Butts of Steel	(8)	Passive	N/A	Muscle classes	Improves the damage and accuracy of all Butt skills. In addition to marginally improving the Turtle Tamer's damage output, the accuracy increase with Headbutt allows Turtle Tamers to hit slightly tougher monsters for less MP than Shieldbutt would, and possibly deal more damage than Shieldbutt depending on what you're wearing on your head.
Suspicious Gaze	(8)	Non-combat	10	Moxie classes	Increase initiative by 20% for 10 turns. This skill can potentially make a difference against high initiative monsters or when running very high ML and aids in speeding up alcove, but it competes with other facial expressions. This buff is mutually exclusive with other facial expressions.
Walberg's Dim Bulb	Vending Machine	Non-combat	5	Moxie classes	Increase initiative by 10% for 10 turns. The difference it makes is rather small, but it doesn't compete with any buffs, and costs very little to use. Speeds up alcove slightly and can potentially make a difference against high initiative monsters, or when running very high ML.
Kung Fu Hustler	Traveling Trader	Passive	N/A		Grants special intrinsic effects for keeping your hands free in combat. Equipping any weapon will cause the effects to be lost. Not highly recommended for lower-skilled players, you have to give up 2 equipment slots in order to keep the skill going. These effects will not be removed by the Naughty Sorceress however. This advice does not apply if you're doing a special challenge path that requires you to have your hands free like Way of the Surprising Fist, where this skill has incredibly useful synergy and should be a high priority.
Curiosity of Br'er Tarrypin	Traveling Trader	Buff	10		Gives 5-20 adventures of Curiosity of Br'er Tarrypin effect (+1 familiar experience per combat).
Lunch Break	CRIMBCO Handbook	Non-Combat	10		Gives one free random food item a day for 10MP. Useful on the first day or two of a run if you didn't manage to max out your fullness.
Belch The Rainbow	beautiful rainbow	Combat	5		Deals 1 Prismatic Damage per beautiful rainbow you have consumed during all your lifetimes (up to 11). This means that it will be fairly weak with only a few rainbows, but can turn into a reliable combat skill with several rainbows used. However, because this doesn't receive bonus damage from any other source than consumed beautiful rainbows, the most damage this skill can do is 55 (or 67 against elemental monsters). These figures don't compare well with Saucestorm, which can benefit from several sources of Mysticality and bonus spell damage, including passive skills and intrinsic effects. How expensive it might get for you to acquire any beautiful rainbows after November 14, 2014 is another story...
Holiday Weight Gain	Crimbo Carol	Noncombat	10		Increases HP by 5 per level (max 55 HP). Useful for surviving a hit or two when pushing +ML.
Fashionably Late	CRIMBCO Handbook	Passive	N/A		Gives one extra adventure each rollover. Won't make or break a run but extra adventures are always useful. Better in HCO runs, due to their increased length.
Stringozzi Serpent	Traveling Trader	Combat	16	Mysticality classes	Deals (16-32)+(0.25*Mys) physical damage, hard capped at 75. It also deals poison damage equal to damage dealt, halving each turn. Due to poison damage, this skill effectively has the same damage formula as Weapon of the Pastalord, except with a damage cap, making this skill very powerful at lower levels, and is even stronger if you're a Pastamancer.
Ruthless Efficiency	Crimbot ROM	Non-Combat	10		Grants 20 turns of Ruthlessly Efficient (deleveling is 50% more effective). Unlike Stealth Mistletoe, it's usable on every class and more (ruthlessly) MP-efficient. It aids Disco Bandits who rely on delevels the most, but even a simple non-PM Entangling Noodle adds 4-5 extra points of delevel.
Stealth Mistletoe	Crimbo Carol	Combat	5		Any Disco Bandit skills that are used in the same combat have their deleveling effects doubled. Casting this does not take a combat round. Best used with Tango of Terror, which can be cast as many times per combat as you like.
Alien Source Code	alien source code printout	Passive	N/A		Gives +5 maximum MP. Extra max MP is always useful on the first day or two in a run. However, this skill is not automatically permed, and the low amount makes this a very low priority skill to perm.
Silent Slice	record of menacing silence	Combat	5		Kind of staggers an opponent, reduces its defense and deals spooky damage based on your weapon's base damage – those numbers will double if that weapon is a knife. In the rare situations where this single cast would be enough for you to hit a monster, Silent Slice beats the Stealth Mistletoe-Tango of Terror combo by far, but most of the time casting it won't be more than a little bit of help. The free combat round might save your life sometimes, but probably won't (like Saucy Salve). You can only use one silent skill per combat. Since knives are relatively scarce, That's Not a Knife could be a suitable complementary skill in a pinch, although you'll have to equip a no-enchantment weapon to do so.
Garbage Nova	Trash, a Memoir	Combat	50		Deals a massive amount of stench damage against Group enemies. Simply put, this is the best spell against the Wall of bones.
Class-specific skills
Furious Wallop	(7)	Combat	1 Fury	Seal Clubbers	Performs a critical hit. Together with the level 2 skill Audacity of the Otter, this can act as a MP saving version of the Lunging Thrust-Smack as it just consumes a gallon of Fury. If you are fighting monsters with your bare fists, it will be superior to LTS because it guarantees a hit, even when you're not wielding a club.
Club Foot	(8)	Combat	8	Seal Clubbers	Reduces defense or stuns based on your current Fury if you're currently a Seal Clubber. All other classes just reduce their opponent's defense for 3-5. This skill is primarily aimed at Seal Clubbers and hasn't much appeal to other classes, since you need a club equipped for it to stagger monsters. To non-Seal Clubbers, it has a rather high MP cost compared to the low defense reduction. For the Seal Clubber however, this skill is much more powerful than Entangling Noodles historically had been. Being unavailable until level 8 makes this a reasonable perm if you are doing more than just a few SC runs in the future.
Spirit Boon	(13)	Non-Combat	30	Turtle Tamers	Gives 5-15 turns of the Turtle Spirit's boon, based on Blessing power. Its effects have situational uses, such as some HP regen for War Snapper, bonus damage and an elemental damage source for She-Who-Was, or restoring MP for Storm Tortoise.
Bind Vermincelli	(5)	Non-Combat	30	Pasta- mancers	Allows Pastamancers to bind a Vermincelli as their thrall. It restores MP after every combat, deals poison damage at Level 5, and gives +30 Maximum MP at Level 10. Vermincelli is particularly useful for low-skill players who lack ways to restore MP more effectively, and a solid choice before having enough MP to summon a Spice Ghost otherwise (which works in your favor since the bonus Max MP can help you summon your Spice Ghost earlier).
Thrall Unit Tactics	(10)	Passive	N/A	Pasta- mancers	Halves the MP cost of Pastamancer combat spells (except Entangling Noodles) if you have a Pasta Thrall active. Pastamancers can save a significant amount of MP throughout the entire run with this skill.
Bind Spaghetti Elemental	Pastamancer	Non-Combat	150	Pasta- mancers Pasta- mancers	Allows Pastamancers to bind a Spaghetti Elemental as their thrall. The amount of substats it gives is pretty small (especially considering its MP cost), and +5 Spell Damage at Level 10 is rather underwhelming, but the Spaghetti Elemental's best feature is that it always blocks the enemy's first attack. Therefore, if you can amass ML and have enough Spell Damage to one-shot monsters, you can safely destroy powerful monsters for a lot of substats without taking a lot of damage at the start or having to boost your initiative high enough to compensate.
Itchy Curse Finger	(8)	Passive	N/A	Saucerors	Casting a Curse also causes the monster to stagger. Best used for Saucerors to heal from Marinara/Weaksauce without having to stun the monster first.
Disco Greed	(9)	Passive	N/A	Disco Bandits	This skill will increase your +Item Drops by 10% per point of Disco Momentum. While the MP cost for building Momentum is prohibitively expensive to use constantly, it's a useful skill to have if you want a certain item drop. Even 2 Momentum from Disco Dance 1 and 2 is useful, and doesn't cost too much MP to get.
Flashy Dancer	(7)	Passive	N/A	Disco Bandits	Each time you build up a point of Disco Momentum your opponent will be staggered. If you're adventuring in a tough zone and want to build Momentum, this will allow you to maximize deleveling (by using Disco Dances 1, 2, 3, in that order) without fear of taking a big hit.

Tier 7

Non-essential skills that are handy for niche cases
Skill Name	Class (Level)	Type	MP Cost	Category	Description
Audacity of the Otter	(2)	Passive	N/A	non-Myst classes	Critical hits do three times the normal damage (instead of two times). Since there's not much that can increase your critical hit chance during a hardcore run, this skill will be very unreliable. It will help with combats in general, but overall there's little you can to benefit from it, other than Smacks with Eye of the Stoat. There's no doubt it will be a help, but that help will always come as a surprise. Seal Clubbers can use their exclusive skill Furious Wallop to make better use of Audacity, but the Lunging Thrust-Smack will basically do the same thing, no matter which class is using it.
Aloysius' Antiphon of Aptitude	(11)	Buff	40		Gives you 5-20 adventures of the Aloysius' Antiphon of Aptitude effect (+3 experience after battles). The high cost of this buff detracts from its usefulness; however, if one has access to magical mystery juice (as either an Accordion Thief or a Mysticality class) or to purple snowcones, then this may be a worthwhile use of MP.
Saucecicle	(9)	Combat	12	Mysticality classes Mysticality classes	Deals (45-50)+(0.3*Mys) Cold Damage, hard capped at 150. Useful for overkilling smut orcs with cold damage to speed up the bridge building section of the Orc Chasm Quest. In addition, once Saucestorm stops dealing enough damage to one-shot monsters, Saucecicle's higher damage cap helps in that regard. It gives more HP/MP output from Marinara/Weaksauce due to its higher damage cap as well. Very useful for the Level 12 quest, even for Pastamancers.
Cold-Blooded Fearlessness	(13)	Passive	N/A		Adds so-so spooky resistance. Reduces damage in the Cyrpt and the Spookyraven Manor. Also helpful to further reduce the A-boo Peak's hauntedness using A-Boo clues during the Orc Chasm Quest.
Deft Hands	(1)	Passive	N/A	Disco Bandits	Adds +25% damage to combat items, and makes the first combat item use a stagger for DBs. Useful for flyering without taking extra damage and maybe even for the fight with the Shadow opponent, but not much else until better combat items enter the game.
Diminished Gag Reflex	(13)	Passive	N/A		Adds so-so stench resistance. Saves some MP if you have it instead of casting Elemental Saucesphere. More valuble than the other passive elemental resistance skills, as it allows immediate access to Guano Junction without casting skills or waiting for a Harem Veil. Also helpful for reaching the 4 levels of stench resistance needed during the Orc Chasm Quest and for unlocking The Haunted Billiards Room.
Northern Explosion	(13)	Combat	16	Muscle classes	The Cold version of LTS. Muscle classes may find it useful in speeding up the bridge building section of the Orc Chasm Quest, by overkilling smut orcs to unlock the Blech House. As a combat skill, it's cost-inefficient and hardly anything physical-resistant needs that much elemental damage to kill.
Disco Nap	(3)	Non-Combat	8		Heals 20 HP and removes a few bad effects, but with Adventurer of Leisure this will remove more effects and heal twice as much HP – making it the HP-wise most efficient early game healing skill. This skill also grants the ability to rest once per day without using an adventure, generating some MP and effectively letting you remove Beaten Up once per day for free. This free rest stacks with Adventurer of Leisure for a total of three. Since Disco Nap is kind of weak as a stand-alone healing skill you should perm Adventurer of Leisure first if you want to use it as early game healing skill instead of Tongue of the Walrus.
Intrinsic Spiciness	(9)	Passive	N/A	Saucerors	Passive +1 damage per level to your Sauceror spells (maximum bonus of +10). While Saucestorm would benefit the most from this passive skill, the increase in damage is okay, but not overwhelming.
Super-Advanced Meatsmithing	(5)	Passive	N/A		The only application for this skill in speedy Hardcore runs is in having a chrome sword more regularly.
Hide of the Walrus	(7)	Passive	N/A		+50 Damage Absorption isn't very useful by itself, as a small amount of damage absorption has little effect. However, stacking it with Astral Shell adds up to a whopping +130 Damage Absorption, accompanied by some resistance against all elements.
Blood Sugar Sauce Magic	(15)	Non-Combat	0		When activated, increases your MP by 30% and decreases HP by 30% if you're a Sauceror, or gives +10% max MP for -10% max HP for non-Saucerors. Slimy Synapses and Wisdom of the Elder Tortoises should provide a large enough max MP pool, but it can help meet MP requirements for high-cost skills when needed, especially if you're a Sauceror.
Marginally Insane	Hobopolis	Passive	N/A		Increases MP by 10%. Slimy Synapses and Wisdom of the Elder Tortoises should provide a large enough max MP pool, but some adventurers may still wish to increase it further.
Abs of Tin	Hobopolis	Passive	N/A		Increases HP by 10%. Not really worth taking as a Hardcore permanent unless you want to maximize your passive bonuses.
The Polka of Plenty*	(5)	Buff	7		Gives you 5-20 adventures of the Polka of Plenty effect (+50% Meat drops). Inexpensive skill that pays for itself in most combat areas. Useful when fighting Beefy Bodyguard Bats and Dirty Thieving Brigands.
Cletus's Canticle of Celerity	(3)	Buff	4	Moxie classes	Gives you 5-20 adventures of the Cletus's Canticle of Celerity effect (+20% combat initiative). This is a waste of an Accordion buff slot, as Overdeveloped is available as a passive skill with the same effect, and there are many sources of initiative boosting in the game. The only real use is to help find more modern zmobies during the Undefile the Cyrpt Quest.
Tolerance of the Kitchen	(13)	Passive	N/A		Adds so-so hot resistance. Saves some MP if you have it instead of casting Elemental Saucesphere. Also takes off the edge when you're killing demons for the Level 6 quest while using Master of the Surprising Fist coupled with Kung Fu Hustler as a Muscle or Mysticality class. Also helps unlock The Haunted Billiards Room.
Tongue of the Walrus*	(9)	Non-Combat	10		Heals 30-40 HP and removes Beaten Up. In terms of healing it is less cost efficient than Adventurer of Leisure improved Disco Nap (which heals 40HP for 8 MP), but also costs half as much karma to perm since it is only 1 skill instead of a 2 skill combo. Tongue of Walrus is the only skill that can repeatedly remove Beaten Up as many times as you need it to. Where other skills are limited to 1 or 2 free rests per day for the removal of Beaten Up.
Conspiratorial Whispers		Combat	25		Deals ongoing passive damage based on Familiar Weight. Virtually no situations in a typical ascension will need such a skill, but it might be more useful in some Special Challenge Paths.
Carbohydrate Cudgel		Combat	30 (+Dry Noodles)		Instantly kills an enemy consuming a dry noodles. As the kill does give stats it might be worth using in a pinch. Used to be much more useful in One Crazy Random Summer for dealing with untouchable enemies.
Song of Slowness		Non-combat	100		Gives +50% initiative for 10 turns, mainly useful for completing the Naughty Sorceress Tower test that occurs every ascension, but also useful for hunting modern zombies.
Song of Starch		Non-combat	100		Gives +50% HP for 10 turns, can be useful for surviving more of Boo-Clues at A-Boo Peak.
Olfactory Burnout	Scratch-and-Sniff Guide to Dinseylandfill	Passive	N/A		Adds serious (+3) stench resistance. Strictly better than Diminished Gag Reflex, but harder to obtain. Helpful in the same places as Reflex.
Hypersane	Merc Core Field Manual: Sanity Maintenance	Passive	N/A		Adds serious (+3) spooky resistance. Strictly better than Cold-Blooded Fearlessness, but harder to obtain. Helpful in the same places as Fearlessness.
Asbestos Heart	Lava Miner's Daughter	Passive	N/A		Adds serious (+3) hot resistance. Strictly better than Tolerance of the Kitchen, but harder to obtain. Helpful in the same places as Tolerance.
Refusal to Freeze	To Build an Igloo	Passive	N/A		Adds serious (+3) cold resistance. Strictly better than Northern Exposure, but harder to obtain. Helpful in the same places as Exposure.
Executive Narcolepsy	CRIMBCO Handbook	Passive	N/A		Gives one free rest a day, generating some MP and effectively letting you remove Beaten Up once per day for free. These rests stack with Disco Nap and Adventurer of Leisure for a total of four rests.
Ancestral Recall	Deck of Every Card	Noncombat	1 blue mana	Deck of Every Card Owners	If you can afford to cheat for blue mana, it's turngen (3 adv) but most of the time, it isn't worth it.
Giant Growth	Deck of Every Card	Combat	1 green mana	Deck of Every Card Owners	Gives +300% to all stats in combat. When used with a free runaway, it can be used in the tower stat contests.
Class-specific skills
Skill Name	Class (Level)	Type	MP Cost	Category	Description
Cavalcade of Fury	(12)	Combat	15 + all Fury	Seal Clubbers	Performing one attack per gallon of Fury, this will rip most monsters to shreds. While the MP cost is unusually high for a muscle class attack, so is the damage. The downside of this attack is that you sacrifice all your Fury. This means you can only perform it once each combat, lose your Fury related bonuses and have to wait for 5 combats until you can perform it again with its maximum efficiency.
Seething of the Snow Leopard	(9)	Passive	N/A	Seal Clubbers	Increases your bonus weapon damage from Fury from +1 to +3 per gallon. Helps you maximize your damage output, and is significant at early levels and with Ire of the Orca.
Blessing of the Storm Tortoise	(11)	Non-Combat	50	Turtle Tamers	Grants Turtle Tamers the Blessing of the Storm Tortoise. Grants Initiative and Max MP, among other things. The most powerful of the Storm Tortoise effects is making Headbutt deal damage twice and Shell Up to stun. This causes Headbutt to possibly surpass Shieldbutt's damage as you get better helmets later in the run, and gives Turtle Tamers their only source of a multi-turn stun. Its Spirit Boon causes your melee attacks to restore MP, and its Avatar gives massive amounts of MP, for if you want to splurge on buffs. Which Turtle Spirit the player wants to use is largely dependent on their playstyle.
Bind Lasagmbie	(13)	Non-Combat	200	Pasta- mancers Pasta- mancers	Allows Pastamancers to bind a Lasagmbie as their thrall. The bonus meat might speed up the Nuns, but its effects at higher levels are nothing special.
Bind Penne Dreadful	(11)	Non-Combat	150	Pasta- mancers	Allows Pastamancers to bind a Penne Dreadful as their thrall. For cases when you do actually need long-term survivability, having your Moxie equalize to your Mysticality is the most reliable solution (compared to beefing up or relying on occasional blocks). Its effects at higher levels further reduce potential damage taken.
Soul Saucery	(6)	Passive	N/A	Saucerors	Allows Saucerors to collect Soulsauce, which can be used in six various skills. Although the amount of Soulsauce you get at early level is rather low, making this less desirable to perm, having access to Soul Food and Soul Bubble early is useful to have, as can Soul Rotation.
Disco Bravado	(10)	Passive	N/A	Disco Bandits	This skill will increase your stat points gained per point of Disco Momentum. 1 stat point for 1 point of Momentum, 1-2 stat points for 2 points of Momentum or 1-3 stat points for 3 points of Momentum.
Accordion Appreciation	(5)	Passive	N/A		Doubles the enchantment bonuses from Accordions. Makes a few accordions more powerful, in particular the Rock and Roll Legend, which gives +14 Moxie instead of +7 with this skill, and for players with Summon Smithsness, Shakespeare's Sister's Accordion becomes extra-powerful because not only does it double the -MP Cost and +Smithsness, it doubles Moxie bonuses from Smithsness as well. Almost all Accordions are usable by ATs only, making this skill a low priority perm, but it helps to take advantage of those accordions earlier than level 5.

Tier 8

Skills with limited use
Skill Name	Class (Level)	Type	MP Cost	Category	Description
Double-Fisted Skull Smashing	(12)	Passive	N/A		Allows using two one-handed weapons at the same time. The weapon enchantments and damage all stack. Oddly, the best use is for plinking. Holding a scratch 'n' sniff crossbow in one hand and a curdflinger in the other can make the early monsters cry! A muscle or mysticality class would probably prefer a shield or a cookbook, respectively.
Stevedave's Shanty of Superiority	(10)	Buff	30		Gives you 5-20 adventures of the Stevedave's Shanty of Superiority effect (+10% all stats). This can allow you to plink at higher levels, but the MP cost and the song slot are prohibitive.
Splashdance		Combat	30		Allows you to heal 50-60 HP without consuming a combat round. The MP cost makes it not particularly useful for common use but might allow you to avoid getting Beaten Up.
Stiff Upper Lip	(3)	Buff	10		Gives you 10 adventures of the Stiff Upper Lip effect (+10 Damage Reduction). Usually outclassed by Disco Smirk unless you're a muscle class with Hero. Can be useful when running extra ML at low levels and against Gremlins. This buff is mutually exclusive with other facial expressions.
Ghostly Shell	(4)	Buff	6		Gives you 10 adventures of the Ghostly Shell effect (+80 Damage Absorption). Not very useful by itself, as a small amount of damage absorption has little effect. However, it's cheap and stacks easily with other TT buffs for significant reduction of damage. Can be useful against Gremlins.
Disco Dance II: Electric Boogaloo	(4)	Combat	4	Disco Bandits	Does 9-11 damage, reduces monster level by 5 and builds up a point of Disco Momentum once per combat. Each point of Disco Momentum increases the damage dealt and deleveling by 6 points. It gives you some advantage over a monster for a relatively low MP cost. The choice between this and Disco Dance 3 should depend on the power of your equipment and the level of the monster. Disco Dance II is somewhat useful for the Naughty Sorceress in her first form as she automatically removes negative levels in excess of 5, making her immune to Disco Dance 3.
Irrepressible Spunk	(14)	Passive	N/A		Increases HP and MP by 5%. Not really worth taking as a Hardcore permanent unless you want to maximize your passive bonuses.
Cosmic Ugnderstanding		Passive	N/A		Increases MP by 5%. Not worth taking as a Hardcore permanent unless you are a fan of trophies and already made it Softcore permanent.
Dirge of Dreadfulness	()	Buff	9		5-20 turns of Dirge of Dreadfulness (+12 Spooky damage and +12 damage to Spooky spells. Useful for strong physical attacks in the Hobo Sewers since there are few helpful songs for that area. Otherwise, there are too many songs competing for the three spots and Dirge can't compare.
Stuffed Mortar Shell	(8)	Combat	8	Mysticality classes	Deals (32-64)+(0.5*Mys) damage in a random element on the turn after it was cast. While the damage it deals is massive and can be tuned, the delay means you'll have to stun the monster before casting this skill if you don't want to take damage. Even so, it's still an extremely efficient cost in terms of damage/MP ratio, although not many monsters need that much damage to kill. Remember for monsters which need more damage to kill, that this spell can only be cast once per fight.
Heart of Polyester	(13)	Passive	N/A		Adds so-so (+2) sleaze resistance. Most helpful for making The Hole in the Sky easier and fighting the Frat Orcs in The Battlefield.
Reptilian Fortitude	(10)	Buff	10		Gives you 5-20 adventures of the Reptilian Fortitude effect (+30 maximum HP). Most useful when fighting monsters well above your stat level so that you won't be killed by a single hit when losing initiative. Because it requires a totem, this skill is usually too expensive to use as a non-Tamer. Holiday Weight Gain is an alternative for +HP.
Curse of Marinara	(6)	Combat	4	Saucerors	A Curse that steals HP equal 3% of monster's Attack every turn. If a Sauceror lands a killing blow with a sauce spell, restores HP equal to 30% of damage dealt, up to 50 HP. Can potentially be the most MP-efficient HP restorer to Saucerors.
Salsaball	(0)	Combat	1		Deals 2-3 Hot damage, hard capped at 8. With +6 bonus spell damage and against a Spooky or Cold, this can be an extremely efficient spell, dealing 16 damage for a single MP. However, unless the monster is physically-resistant, Toss and Clobber are better options.
Spirit of Rigatoni	(7)	Passive	N/A	Mysticality classes Mysticality classes	Allows the equipment of chefstaves. But (with the exception of the Staff of the November Jack-O-Lantern) chefstaves can only be crafted by Mysticality Classes, so it will not help other classes. However, this skill allows a Myst-class player access to the most powerful magic weapons in the game, and for Saucerors it frees up an accessory slot.
Brawnee's Anthem of Absorption	(8)	Buff	13		Gives you 5-20 adventures of the Brawnee's Anthem of Absorption effect (Damage Reduction that scales with your level). This buff is not very useful because -- although the damage reduction can be significant -- it is seldom worth using a valuable Accordion Thief buff slot with it. A notable exception is the Gremlins, where a cast of Brawnee's will significantly reduce the damage from their auto-hit attacks.
Gnomish Hardigness		Passive	N/A		Increases HP by 5%. Slightly aids survival.
Tenacity of the Snapper	(6)	Buff	8	non-Myst classes	Gives you 5-20 adventures of the Tenacity of the Snapper effect (+8 melee damage). While low in MP cost, it requires an upgraded turtle totem to be really useful.
Shield of the Pastalord	(8)	Non-Combat	20		Gives you 10 turns of 30% physical damage reduction to Pastamancers, or 10% to non-Pastamancers. This skill can help making a difference in surviving a blow from a powerful monster, but it's better for Pastamancers to try avoiding damage in the first place. Its reduced effectiveness for other classes also makes it less desirable due to its MP cost.
Disco Inferno	(12)	Combat	15		Deals Hot damage once per combat that scales with your Disco Momentum level. If you don't have a strong knife, this skill will deal more damage compared to the knife-related combat skills. Also deals bonus damage to groups.
Cold Shoulder	(3)	Passive	N/A	non-Myst classes	While 5 additional Cold Damage are always welcome, getting that bonus only for your Smacks makes this skill rather weak and very specific in comparison.
Fortitude of the Muskox	(1)	Passive	N/A		Compared to every other healing skill, this one is rather useless. However having a passive skill that's regenerating 1-2 HP per adventure means an average of 150 HP healed in 100 Adventures – for free. Without astronomically high attributes to evade each and every attack, you will always get some damage from fights. This passive won't heal up much, but it might compensate for some HP loss and save you having to use other means of healing at least once or twice during a run. If you have already maxed out your free rests, this is the only other source of free healing available.
Splattersmash		Combat	25		Deals massive damage against Group enemies. Only useful in run for The Cyrpt and the wall of bones.
Turtleini		Combat	35		Deals spooky damage over a few rounds. Can be better than Saucegeyser for Muscle Classes but there's few situations in a run where such damage is needed.
Club Earth		Combat	50		Deals normal melee damage plus a single round stun. But the MP cost makes it fairly useless in run.
Jingle Bells	Crimbo Carol	Buff	5		For 5-20 turns, familiars that act in combat are more likely to act in combat! Useful for starfishing.
Unoffendable	History's Most Offensive Jokes, Vol. IX	Passive	N/A		Adds serious (+3) sleaze resistance. Strictly better than Heart of Polyester, but harder to obtain. Most helpful for making The Hole in the Sky easier and fighting the Frat Orcs in The Battlefield, but sleaze resistance is one of the less useful resistances in a typical run.
Offensive Joke	CRIMBCO Handbook	Combat	15		Reduces monster power by 20 and deals 30-40 points of Sleaze damage. Good for de-leveling in a hurry, but its high cost and incompatibility with Stealth Mistletoe make it less useful.
Summon Crimbo Candy	Crimbo Candy Cookbook	Noncombat	3		Summons 3 random Crimbo candies, once per day. Each candy gives 5 turns of Sugar Rush and 5 turns of a +5 boost to Moxie, Muscle, or Myst. Can be useful for plinking, etc.
Pyromania	Psycho From The Heat	Noncombat	15		Not as useful as Grease Up and Intimidating Mien but still relatively useful.
Healing Salve	Deck of Every Card	Combat	1 white mana	Deck of Every Card Owners	Gives 3000 HP in combat but since your shadow ignores skills, this is heavily outclassed by Cannelloni Cocoon in terms of healing.
Dark Ritual	Deck of Every Card	Noncombat	1 black mana	Deck of Every Card Owners	Gives 3000 MP which will almost always never be worth it unless you really need MP.
Class-specific skills
Thirst of the Weasel	(6)	Passive	N/A	Seal Clubbers Seal Clubbers	Heals 1-2 HP per Smack for each gallon of Fury. While it's nice to have most of your attacks skills double as weak but free heals, the amount healed can't eliminate the need for a real healing skill.
Wrath of the Wolverine	(4)	Passive	N/A	Seal Clubbers Seal Clubbers	The very basis of all Fury skills. It enables Seal Clubbers to generate and store up to 3 gallons of Fury. Since it's a level 4 skill it will be available to you from day one, making it kind of unreasonable to spend karma on, unless you desperately want to save meat.
Buoyancy of the Beluga	(5)	Passive	N/A	Seal Clubbers	Regenerates 1 HP per Adventure for each gallon of Fury. While this beats Fortitude of the Muskox by far, you have to be a Seal Clubber to receive this free healing. Since Buoyancy of the Beluga is a level 5 skill it will be available to you so early, that you don't have to worry about perming it, unless you want to save meat.
Blessing of She-Who-Was	(7)	Non-Combat	30	Turtle Tamers	Grants Turtle Tamers the Blessing of She-Who-Was. Grants Mysticality and Spooky Damage, among other things. If you desire some early-game MP, a source of elemental damage and sustainability in some cases, She-Who-Was provides that. Shell Up and Shieldbutt both restores HP. Its Spirit Boon gives bonus Weapon Damage and converts your damage to Spooky, and its Avatar grants lots of elemental resistance for when you need them, and gives you a skill that deals prismatic damage. Which Turtle Spirit the player wants to use is largely dependent on their playstyle.
Blessing of the War Snapper	(2)	Non-Combat	15	Turtle Tamers	Grants Turtle Tamers the Blessing of the War Snapper. Grants Muscle and Weapon Damage, among other things. War Snapper is best for all-around combat advantages, making Headbutt better as an early game skill, and granting bonus damage and a stagger to Shieldbutt. Its Spirit Boon causes your melee attacks to restore HP, and its Avatar turns you into an indomitable fighter. Which Turtle Spirit the player wants to use is largely dependent on their playstyle. Although this skill can be learned as early as Level 2, it doesn't hurt to get a few turns of a head start by perming it.
Turtle Power	(15)	Non-Combat	100	Turtle Tamers	Once a day, uses up a Glorious Blessing to restore 1000 HP and MP and turn you into the Turtle Spirit's Avatar for 10 turns. You can't gain a Blessing for 60 turns after casting this skill. While the effects you gain are powerful, the fact that it removes your Blessing and prevents you from getting one for 60 turns is a significant drawback. As a result, this is a very, very situational skill to use.
Bringing Up the Rear	(6)	Passive	N/A	Pasta- mancers	Doubles the hard damage cap of most Pastamancer spells if you have a Pasta Thrall active. Having this skill allows Pastamancers to get more mileage out of their weaker spells, indirectly saving MP.
Disco State of Mind	(3)	Passive	N/A	Disco Bandits	The very basis of all Disco Momentum skills. It enables Disco Bandits to build up up to 3 Disco Momentum per combat. Since it's a level 3 skill it will be available to you from day one, making it kind of unreasonable to spend karma on, unless you desperately want to save meat.
Disco Shank	(10)	Combat	13	Disco Bandits	Uses best available knife to damage a monster once per combat, dealing increased damage based on your Disco Momentum level. Momentum damage scales with your Moxie. For situations where you want to deal a lot of damage as a Disco Bandit, this skill deals the most damage at high levels.
Knife in the Dark	(9)	Combat	10	Disco Bandits	Uses best available knife to damage a monster for physical and Spooky damage once per combat, dealing increased damage based on your Disco Momentum level. Momentum damage scales with knife power.
Disco Face Stab	(6)	Combat	8	Disco Bandits Disco Bandits	Uses best available knife to damage and delevels a monster by 9 once per combat. The damage scales according to both the knife's power and your Disco Momentum level.
Frantic Gyrations	(4)	Passive	N/A	Disco Bandits	Each point of Disco Momentum will make you harder to hit. It's a good skill, but since it's a level 4 skill it will be available to you from day one, making it kind of unreasonable to spend karma on, unless you desperately want to save meat.
Crab Claw Technique	(3)	Passive	N/A	Accordion Thief	Grants a very large to-hit bonus while equipping an accordion. With this skill, you will never have too low of a Moxie to hit a monster. However, due to the limited usefulness of accordions on non-ATs and the early availability of this skill, perming this skill is only handy for when boosting ML very early.

Tier 9

Generally useless or redundant skills
Note that these skills are kept in alphabetical order, rather than in order of usefulness.
Skill Name	Class (Level)	Type	MP Cost	Category	Description
Antibiotic Saucesphere	(10)	Buff	15		Gives you 5-20 adventures of the Antibiotic Saucesphere effect (regenerate 4-5 HP per adventure). This skill is very inefficient without a decent saucepan, and there are better HP restorers out there.
Bawdy Refrain	(9)	Combat	11	Moxie classes	Deals Sleaze damage scaling with Moxie. Deals more damage if you have an accordion equipped. The damage won't even beat Saucestorm until you're sufficiently buffed and/or leveled, even with a high-powered accordion equipped.
Bind Angel Hair Wisp	(7)	Non-Combat	60	Pasta- mancers	Allows Pastamancers to bind an Angel Hair Wisp as their thrall. It provides pure survivability via initiative and attack blocks, but it gives paltry Initiative at low levels and requires a lot of time to be effective. Even then the Spaghetti Elemental is better for initiative since at Level 5 it does the same thing in principle, not to mention long-term survivability is not exactly beneficial for the one-shotting playstyle. The amount of Initiative it gives at low levels is too negligible for boosting modern zmobie appearance rates as well.
Bind Undead Elbow Macaroni	(9)	Non-Combat	100	Pasta- mancers	Allows Pastamancers to bind an Elbow Macaroni as their thrall. Having Muscle equal to your Mysticality as a Pastamancer may increase your endurance, but in the end increasing Moxie or Initiative works better for saving resources, so it only really works for A-boo Peak and in other very situational cases. At later levels it gives bonus Weapon Damage and Critical Hit chance... which doesn't benefit a spellcaster in any way.
Bind Vampieroghi	(3)	Non-Combat	12	Mysticality classes Mysticality classes Mysticality classes	Binds a Vampieroghi as a Pasta Thrall. It's generally the least useful of the Pasta Thralls, since Pastamancers should focus on OHKO-ing, not long-term survivability. Pastamancers also have better ways to increase short-term survivability and have skills that heal on demand. Its non-PM effect is also mediocre.
Cadenza	(2)	Combat	0	Accordion Thieves Accordion Thieves	Has various effects based on what Accordion you have equipped. Almost all Accordions can only be used by ATs only, and its early availability makes this a very low priority skill to perm.
Sauceshell		Combat	30		Prevents opponent damage and damages the opponent if they would have hit. Sauceshell is a damage block that still works past +151 ML, which makes it useful only in a very narrow set of circumstances.
Chronic Indigestion	Food	Combat	5		Does a range of (current fullness + 5-10) Hot damage. This can be useful because it will always hit and will do double damage to Spooky and Cold monsters. However, because the skill has limited damage and will only deal hot damage, perming Cannelloni Cannon and Flavour of Magic is a better choice for most ascenders.
CLEESH	Strange Leaflet	Combat	10		Turns most enemies into a very weak monster. When combined with Advanced Saucecrafting, can make semi-useful potions, but by the time a chef-in-the-box is available, the potions are less useful. You also receive it every run at level 9, so perming this skill isn't too attractive.
Concerto de los Muertos	(6)	Combat	8	Moxie classes	Deals some Spooky damage for 3 round, dealing more damage if you have an accordion equipped. The damage is somewhat decent with a high-powered accordion, but the MP Cost is a little too high to use regularly, it's weak on non-ATs, and barely essential for ATs regardless due to their passive bonuses.
Cone of Zydeco	(12)	Combat	15	Moxie classes	Deals damage scaling with Moxie, plus the base damage of your equipped accordion if applicable. Deals bonus damage against group monsters. While some group-monsters can be one-shotted with this skill, most ascension-relevant ones aren't too threatening and the MP Cost is too high to use regularly.
Curse of Vichyssoise	(1)	Combat	2		Deals minor Cold Damage every round, which is increased with Cold Resistance. Deals bad damage and not worth using in general.
Curse of the Thousand Islands	(8)	Combat	6		Has a chance of causing monsters to stagger. Due to its random nature, this skill should not be relied upon.
Deep Dark Visions	Mer-kin darkbook	Non-combat	100	Mysticality classes	+50% Spell Damage at extreme costs. Casting this requires least 500 HP and 8 levels of spooky resistance as a myst class or 9 resistance levels as every other class. Since this requires several other skills as well as some logistic effort, which only makes sense in the most extremely unlikely cases.
Disco Aerobics	(0)	Non-combat	1	Moxie classes	Gives you 5 adventures of the Disco State of Mind effect (+2 Moxie). Can be useful for simple plinking.
Disco Dance of Doom	(2)	Combat	3	Disco Bandits	Does 6-8 damage, reduces monster power by 3 and builds up a point of Disco Momentum once per combat. Each point of Disco Momentum increases the damage dealt and deleveling by 4 points. Outside of a Disco Bandit ascension, this skill is largely useless as Disco Dance II and Disco Dance 3 accomplish the same goal more efficiently.
Disco Eye-Poke	(1)	Combat	2		Does 1-3 damage and reduces monster power by 2 once per combat. Each point of Disco Momentum increases the damage dealt and deleveling by 1 point. This skill is a very poor choice for a perm compared to Disco Dance II and Disco Dance 3. Even if you're heavily relying on the Disco Momentum mechanic, you can learn this skill for very little meat as soon as you've got access to your guild.
Disco Leer	(15)	Non-Combat	10		Gives you 10 adventures of the Disco Leer effect (+10% Meat drops). Might save a turn or two for the Nuns, but hardly worth the MP cost otherwise. This buff is mutually exclusive with other facial expressions.
Dissonant Riff	(1)	Combat	2		Deals minor damage and delevels by a minor amount. A weak combat skill.
Fearful Fettucini	()	Combat	32	Mysticality classes	A fully elemental spooky version of Weapon of the Pastalord. Very powerful, but a high MP cost. Saucegeyser or Noodles + Mortar combo is an equally powerful spell that is more flexible and should be considered for perming before this.
Headbutt	(1)	Combat	3		Deals your attack damage plus bonus physical damage based on the power of your hat. Deals extra damage if wearing a helmet turtle and is improved by Turtle Blessings. The fact that it's rather ineffective for non-Turtle Tamers and its early availability otherwise makes this skill a low priority skill for perming. Deals more damage with Tao and high-power hats from Armorcraftiness. This skill is enhanced by Butts of Steel.
Hibernate	(2)	Non-combat	1 Adventure		While healing all your HP, curing Beaten Up and granting 5 Adventures worth of the Well-Rested buff (15 sub stats at best, unless you combine it with free fights against summoned monsters), this isn't, in any conceivable way, worth losing an Adventure to hardcore ascenders. (Seal Clubbers lose all of their current Fury on top of that.)
Jalapeño Saucesphere	(7)	Buff	5		Gives you 5-20 adventures of the Jalapeño Saucesphere effect. Provides 3 DR and deals 1-5 damage when monsters attack you.
Kneebutt	(7)	Combat	4		Deals your attack damage plus bonus physical damage based on the power of your pants, and is improved by Turtle Blessings. For Turtle Tamers, Kneebutt's only real use is for deleveling with certain Turtle Blessings, and without the auto-hit of Shieldbutt or the potentially high damage output of Headbutt, Kneebutt is the least useful Butt skill out of the three. It's also very weak on other classes. Deals significantly more damage with Tao and high-power pants from Armorcraftiness. This skill is enhanced by Butts of Steel.
Lasagna Bandages	(3)	Combat or Non-Combat	6		Heals 10-30 HP out of combat and 10-20 HP in combat. This spell would be more useful if Saucy Salve didn't exist.
Lunge Smack	(1)	Combat	1	Muscle classes	A normal attack that deals 5 extra damage if it connects. Very weak overall, even as a low-level SC. Seal Clubbers will always hit an opponent with this skill as long as they're wielding a club in their main hand.
Manicotti Meditation*	(0)	Non-combat	1	Mysticality classes	Gives you 5 adventures of the Pasta Oneness effect (+2 Mysticality). Can be useful for increasing max MP.
Mild Curse	Actually Ed the Undying (0)	Combat	0		Deals a very mild amount of Spooky damage, with an equally mild impact on future runs.
Moxie of the Mariachi	(0)	Non-combat	1	Moxie classes	Gives you 5 adventures of the Mariachi Mood effect (+1 Moxie and +4 maximum HP). Can be useful for simple plinking.
Patience of the Tortoise	(0)	Non-combat	1	Muscle classes	Gives you 5 Adventures of the Patience of the Tortoise effect (+1 Muscle and +4 maximum HP). Can be useful for increasing melee accuracy and HP.
Pizza Lover	(4)	Passive	N/A		Pizzas give extra substats and +1 Adventure per fullness. Unfortunately, just about every pizza that exists in KoL are inferior to foods such as Pasta dishes, even with this skill.
Precision of the Penguin	(14)	Passive	N/A	Seal Clubbers	Increases your Critical Hit Chance by 1% per gallon. Might give you a super-powerful Smack every now and then.
Ravioli Shurikens	(1)	Combat	4	Mysticality classes	Deals 2-4 damage in a random element 3 times (only the first hit can be tuned), hard capped at 10 each. Its low damage output makes this spell a poor choice for a Hardcore permanent.
Really Expensive Jewelrycrafting	Little Canadia Jewelers	Non-Combat	N/A		Lets you create advanced jewelry. Since elemental gems are extremely rare and in-run jewelrycrafting requires access to Little Canadia, which is less useful for ascension than Degrassi Knoll, perming this skill is not very useful.
Sauce Contemplation*	(0)	Non-Combat	1	Mysticality classes	Gives you 5 adventures of the Saucemastery effect (+1 Mysticality and +4 maximum HP). Can be useful for increasing max MP.
Sauce Monocle	(14)	Non-Combat	20	Mysticality classes	Gives 10 turns of +15% Spell Critical Hit Chance, or +5% for non-Saucerors. Don't rely on spell crits for damage.
Scarysauce	()	Buff	10		This skill gives you so-so protection against cold and sleaze damage, and any monster that attacks you is dealt 2-10 Spooky damage. While unlikely, it could make a difference when reducing the A-boo Peak's hauntedness using A-Boo clues during the Orc Chasm Quest.
Scowl of the Auk	(6)	Buff	10	non-Myst classes	Grants you 10 adventures of the Scowl of the Auk effect (+10 weapon damage). While being stronger than Tenacity of the Snapper and not requiring an upgraded turtle totem, it's incompatible with the more powerful Snarl of the Timberwolf or Icy Glare. This buff is mutually exclusive with other facial expressions.
Seal Clubbing Frenzy	(0)	Non-combat	1	Muscle classes	Gives you 5 Adventures of the Seal Clubbing Frenzy effect (+2 Muscle). Can be useful for increasing melee accuracy and HP.
Shell Up	(5)	Combat	6		Blocks a monster's attack on the turn that it was cast, negating damage and triggering additional effects if you have a Turtle Blessing. Shell Up is a damage block that still works past +151 ML, which makes it useful only in a very narrow set of circumstances.
Simmer	(1)	Non-combat	1 Adventure		Grants 10 turns of Simmering (Spell Damage +100%, Regenerate 8-10 MP per Adventure). Saucerors are already capable of regenerating MP near-effortlessly, and the bonus spell damage serves little purpose as long as you have even just a kickback cookbook. Plus it has a very steep cost of 1 Adventure.
Sing	(0)	Combat	1		Hits for 2-3 damage per round for 2-3 rounds. Trivial combat skill, no real need to take unless you're absolutely out of skills to perm.
Spaghetti Spear	(0)	Combat	1		Hits for 2-3 damage, hard capped at 8. Trivial combat skill, no real need to take unless you're absolutely out of skills to perm.
Spirit Snap	(6)	Combat	10		Deals damage based on Muscle, and is improved by Turtle Blessings. This skill is extremely weak without a Blessing active.
Spirit Vacation	(1)	Non-combat	1 Adventure		Restores all your HP, curing Beaten Up and granting Spirit Souvenirs (+10 Maximum MP and 8-10 MP regeneration per adventure) for 10 adventures. For beginners, this skill can be used as a crutch for both healing and MP regen, but as time goes on and more skills are obtained, it's not worth spending a single Adventure on.
Spectral Snapper	()	Combat	20	Muscle classes	Does 10-40 + 20% of Muscle in spooky damage. Because it does not receive bonus damage from sources such as Snarl of the Timberwolf, it is not difficult for physical attack skills to deal more damage and at a much more efficient cost. Even when used for its elemental damage, there are better ones out there.
Spiky Shell	(9)	Buff	8	Muscle classes	Gives 5-20 Adventures of Spiky Shell, dealing a paltry amount of damage to enemies that attack you.
Sticky Fingers	(11)	Passive	N/A	Moxie classes	While this skill only adds a little bit of meat to your successful pickpocketing attempts, it even works on monsters which don't normally drop any meat. The overall return for Moxie classes isn't that much of a deal, but still: meat is meat.
Stream of Sauce	(1)	Combat	3	Mysticality classes	Deals (9-11)+(0.2*Mys) Hot damage, hard capped at 24. A low-level skill with little practical application after gaining a few levels.
Suckerpunch	(0)	Combat	1		Delevels opponent by 1 while dealing 1 damage. Unlike other Disco Bandit delevelers, this skill can be cast as many times per combat as you like. Trivial combat skill, no real need to take unless you're absolutely out of skills to perm.
That's Not a Knife	(5)	Noncombat	0	Disco Bandits	Lets you summon a knife for free once a day. The power of those knives is determined by your level, but since they have no enchantment they aren't an interesting choice to equip. Since knives are relatively scarce, this skill is pretty much a mandatory complementary skill for Disco Face Stab, Knife in the Dark, Disco Shank as well as a possible complementary skill for Silent Slice. However, perming it is only really necessary if you are planning to use the DB knife skills outside of a DB run.
The Psalm of Pointiness	(9)	Buff	15		Gives you 5-20 adventures of the Psalm of Pointiness effect (enemies that attack you suffer 4-8 damage and delevel by 1-5). This skill would be good for plinking because of the deleveling effect, but there are more useful songs out there for that.
Thrust-Smack	(4)	Combat	3	Muscle classes	When TS hits, it doubles your weapon's damage, plus Bonus Weapon Damage if you're a Seal Clubber. It receives 20 more muscle points to accuracy. Generally useless for non-SCs and can be bought early as a SC. Seal Clubbers will always hit an opponent with this skill as long as they're wielding a club in their main hand.
Transcendent Al Dente	(2)	Non-combat	1 Adventure		Grants 10 turns of Al Dente Inferno (+20 Max MP, restores 18-20 MP per adventure). While it may be of some use to beginners who are not good at MP management, its cost of 1 Adventure is a very steep price to pay for even moderately experienced players.
Tricky Knifework	(7)	Passive	N/A	Moxie classes	Attacks done with a knife equipped will hit and deal damage based on your Moxie (unless your Muscle is higher). A Disco Bandit relying on a Frankly Mr. Shank certainly wants this skill, but they can just buy it at the guild. Deck of Every Card owners can draw a powerful knife with great moxie+meat enchantments. Everyone else is much more likely to find or craft a good 1-handed ranged weapon than a good knife.
Utensil Twist	(1)	Combat	1		Deals (Weapon Damage) + (0.1*Mys) damage. Requires a utensil equipped. This a very weak combat skill, and any spell will out-damage it easily. While it's extremely efficient and powerful with a Hand that Rocks the Ladle equipped, it is unfortunately no longer an option in Standard.
Wave of Sauce	(7)	Combat	10	Mysticality classes	Deals (45-50)+(0.3*Mys) damage of hot and delevels monster by 8-10, hard capped at 100. Saucestorm deals about the same amount of damage for less MP, and has not much use otherwise unless you want to milk curse restoration with it or just save money.
Weapon of the Pastalord	(10)	Combat	32	Mysticality classes	Deals (32-64)+(0.5*Mys) damage. Very powerful when combined with spell damage modifiers, but its massive MP cost makes this skill a poor choice to make a Hardcore permanent. If a large spell is needed to relieve a sticky situation, Saucegeyser is suggested since it will deal all of its damage tuned to a beneficial element or a Entangling Noodles + Stuffed Mortar Shell combo which does the same amount of damage for less MP.
Wizard Squint	(14)	Non-Combat	10	Mysticality classes	Gives 10 turns of +10% Spell Critical Hit Chance. There are more reliable facial expressions out there. This buff is mutually exclusive with other facial expressions.
Candyblast	Crimbo Carol	Combat	8	Mysticality classes Mysticality classes	Deals (8-16)+(0.25*Mys) damage, hard capped at 50. 33% chance of dropping a piece candy, but limited to once per combat. Because the skill cannot be elementally tuned, most of the candy can't be autosold, and doesn't even work with Bringing Up the Rear, this is just a worse version of Cannelloni Cannon.
Cringle's Curative Carol	Crimbo Carol	Buff	5		Gives you 5-20 adventures of the Cringle's Curative Carol effect (regenerate 5-10 HP per adventure). The song slot ruins any chance of being used that this buff probably didn't have in the first place.
Iron Palm Technique	Traveling Trader	Non-combat	1	Seal Clubbers	Buff that causes swords to function as clubs. Could be useful as a Seal Clubber, allowing swords to benefit from auto-hit Smacks like clubs, giving them more weapons to work with. This skill is almost practically a passive skill, since it's a skill that costs 0 MP to cast and gives an intrinsic with no negative effects and isn't removable by enemies. Unfortunately, there aren't any notable swords that are both easily obtainable and better than the Hammer of Smiting in general, so this skill has little relevance.
Käsesoßesturm	Traveling Trader	Combat	10	Mysticality classes	A Stench clone of Wave of Sauce, minus the delevel. While it has a situational use against Hot monsters (i.e. Friar's/Hey Deze), a Stench-tuned Cannelloni Cannon can do the job a bit better in that regard.
Natural Born Skeleton Killer	Field Guide to Skeletal Anatomy	Passive	N/A		Increases damage to skeletons by 10%. While there actually are some skeletons, their seldom appearance makes this skill rather unimportant.
Pinch Ghost	Ghost Pinching Quarterly	Combat	5		Deals physical damage to ghosts. There are many better spells or elemental damage options available.
Silent Slam	record of infuriating silence	Combat	5		Kind of staggers an opponent, reduces its attack power and deals spooky damage based on your weapon's base damage – those numbers will double if that weapon is a club. In most situations, Silent Slam will reduce a monster's attack power only by a little, so casting it won't be more than a little bit of help. The free combat round might save your life sometimes, but probably won't (like Saucy Salve). You can only use one silent skill per combat.
Silent Squirt	record of tranquil silence	Combat	10		Kind of staggers an opponent and deals 50-60 spooky damage. Since this spell isn't affected by spell modifiers or Mysticality it's not much good. The free combat round might save your life sometimes, but probably won't (like Saucy Salve). You can only use one silent skill per combat.
Sloppy Secrets	Sloppy Seconds Diner Employee Handbook	Passive	N/A		Makes the Sloppy Seconds Diner NC adventure more rewarding by doubling Beach Buck drops from raiding the cash register and making the adventure appear more frequently. Unless you plan on power-leveling at the Diner extensively, the skill has little value, not to mention it's useless to anyone who doesn't have access to Spring Break Beach in the first place.
Summon "Boner Battalion"	The Necbronomicon	Noncombat	200		Deals passive elemental damage. However it can be used once per day, and the MP cost is prohibitive for the effect.
Surge of Icing	Crimbo Carol	Combat	10	Mysticality classes	A physical damage clone of the old Saucestorm that does 1.5x damage with the effect Sugar Rush. Unfortunately, it's horribly overpriced.
Tattle	The Snitch's Manifesto	Combat	7		Delevels enemies. This means this skill is redundant with every Disco Bandit combat skill. And those can combo for bonus effects. And deal damage simultaneously.
Torment Plant	The Thorax's Codex of Tormenting Plants	Combat	5		Deals physical damage to Plants. You will see at most 6 monsters that are plants in a run. None of them are particularly threatening.

Tier 10

Skills that have no possible use during a hardcore run
Skill Name	Class (Level)	Type	MP Cost	Category	Description
Lightning Bolt	Deck of Every Card	Combat	1 red mana	Deck of Every Card Owners	Deals 3000 damage which will almost always be either too over-costed and unnecessary like the Hobo skills.
Hobo attack skills: Awesome Balls of Fire Eggsplosion Grease Lightning Raise Backup Dancer Snowclone Toynado	Hobopolis	Combat	120	Mysticality classes	Each skill can deal a huge amount of damage in a single element. In an HC run, they are almost always either too expensive to use, or utter overkill.
Hobo relaxation skills: Conjure Relaxing Campfire Creepy Lullaby Inappropriate Backrub Maximum Chill Mudbath Wassail	Hobopolis	Combat	30	Mysticality classes	Each skill deals single-element (or physical) damage similar to Cannelloni Cannon and Saucestorm at 2-3x the MP cost. They can also cool down angry hobos and fish, which is useless in a normal hardcore ascension.
Hobo accordion buffs: Benetton's Medley of Diversity Chorale of Companionship Elron's Explosive Etude The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder Prelude of Precision	Hobopolis	Buff	50	Accordion Thieves Accordion Thieves Accordion Thieves	These spells can only be cast on recipients of level 15 or higher. By the time you reach this level you could already have beaten the sorceress. Unless, of course, you are BIG!
Aquatic skills: Deep Saucery Tempuramancy Harpoon! Summon Leviatuga Salacious Cocktailcrafting Donho's Bubbly Ballad	The Sea	Varies	Varies	Muscle classes	These skills are only useful underwater, or with rare crafting ingredients that are only found underwater. Underwater access is not possible until level 11 and will cost 10K for the old SCUBA tank in order to breathe underwater. In the past, these skills might have been of interest to PvPers, as at least one aquatic minigame had been part of every PvP season.
Frigidalmatian	Brushfires Event	Noncombat	300	Mysticality classes	Grants a buff which deals massive Cold damage every round of combat for one adventure. Extreme high cost plus extremely short duration means no use in Hardcore.
Managerial Manipulation	CRIMBCO Handbook	Buff Other Player	5		Gives another player the effect Employee of the Month for 20 turns (+10 to all attributes). Since you cannot use it on yourself, there is no use for this during a hardcore ascension.
Psychokinetic Hug	warbear empathy chip	Buff Other Player	0		Gives another player the Reassured effect. This skill won't help your hardcore runs any, but you might get addicted to hugging – you heart, you.
Shrap	warbear metalworking primer	Combat	0	Mysticality classes	Casting this spell requires a warbear whosit, which is consumed by the spell. The only way to get a whosit in Hardcore is faxing a Warbear Officer, which is not only a waste of a fax use, nothing in Hardcore needs that much damage to kill.
Volcanometeor Showeruption	unearthed volcanic meteoroid	Combat	0	Mysticality classes	Casting this spell requires a volcanic ash, which is consumed by the spell. It's theoretically possible to get the ash in hardcore (from a Pottery Barn Owl), but nothing in a Hardcore run requires that much damage.

Mr. Tier

This tier lists skills that are automatically marked Hardcore Permanent when acquired. These skills are separated as they do not require karma to be made permanent

Extremely valuable skills you purchase, as you happen to afford them, rather than ascend to acquire
Skill Name	Source	Type	MP Cost	Category	Description
Transcendent Olfaction	Bounty Hunter	Combat	40		Increases the chance of encountering a particular monster from On the Trail effect. Ridiculously useful throughout an entire run, from hunting goats to beating up girls, bob racecar, boilers, tomb rats, Spookyraven Manor's writing desks / wine rack / cabinet and pygmies and accountants during the level 11 quest. The turnsave makes it one of the most powerful skills in the game, to the point where KoL is practically a completely different game depending on whether you have this. Takes a significant time investment to acquire, but is well worth it in the hundred or more turns saved each run.
20/20 Vision	Do-it-yourself laser eye surgery kit	Passive	N/A		+10% Item Drops from Monsters, with absolutely no downsides. As this item is only obtained from The Raffle House, getting it isn't something to expect anytime soon, but enemies dropping more items is always a good thing.
Brain Games	Electronic Brain Trainer game	Passive	N/A		+3 Adventures per day, with absolutely no downsides or strings attached. The only problem is, like the previous skill, it can only be obtained through The Raffle House. Regardless, it should be quite obvious why 3 additional Rollover adventures forever is a great skill.
The Smile of Mr. A.	Mr. Store	Buff Other Player	0		Gives another player a box of sunshine if they have ascended at least once or The Smile of Mr. A. if they haven't. This skill won't help your hardcore runs any, but boxes of sunshine do make nice gifts.
Thick-Skinned	PvP	Passive	N/A		Gives +10 maximum HP and MP. This is fairly good on Day 1 and 2, where most characters may be limited to what buffs they can use. It can free up a song slot from Mojo Melody earlier, reducing song juggling and saving MP in the process. Thick-Skinned also adds to your survivability during the first few days. This is the only PvP swag that's useful to Hardcore players not otherwise interested in PvP, outside of weird corner cases like a cursed pony keg in Slow and Steady.
Request Sandwich	note from Clancy	Non-Combat	X*5		Summons a single Sandwich of decent quality per day, but it might take several summons until you actually get it. Useful on the first day or two of a run if you didn't manage to max out your fullness.
Chip on your Shoulder	PvP	Passive	N/A		+5 PvP fights/day. How to Hold a Grudge is more expensive than How to Tolerate Jerks, so this is only good if you plan to play PvP for PvP's sake; players only trying to speed up Hardcore runs should stop with Thick-Skinned.
Summon Annoyance	PvP	Non-Combat	10 swagger		Summons several social items for clubs. This skill is simply a fun toy to play with, and completely worthless in terms of speeding up a run. But since it's auto-permed and its casting cost is swagger, you're also not wasting ascension-relevant resources to use it.
Summon Kokomo Resort Pass	PvP	Non-Combat	1		Grants access to Kokomo Resort. More fun than ascension-relevant; Afternoon Delights are mediocre booze, The Cocktail Shaker is totally random and would take several days worth of passes to get if you tried acquiring it in-run (a strategy that can only work once, ever), and nothing else provides any benefit whatsoever. At the very least, the Kokomo Resort Pass is a once-a-day 1 MP that can be autosold for 100 Meat.
Bear Essence	PvP	Passive	N/A		This skill is a total joke. +20% to black picnic basket drops would have been a tiny bit relevant, prior to the Tower revamp. Only get this if you're a completionist, or a hardcore Yogi Bear fan.
Calculate the Universe	PvP	Non-Combat	1		Actually pretty useful. If you know what number to input, you can yellow-ray a War Frat 151st Infantryman to get the Frat Warrior Fatigues super early (this allows you to skip the Filthy Hippy Disguise), fight a Gnollish Gearhead for his toolbox if you're for some reason not in a Knoll sign, or just get +3 adventures or fites every day.
Toggle Optimality	PvP	Non-Combat	N/A		Totally optimal! A+ 10/10 best skill ever... Okay, seriously though, this skill is literally a joke and will do absolutely nothing for your runs. Get it for the bragging rights of having a really big... username.
Other PvP Seasonal Skills Pirate Bellow Summon Holiday Fun! Summon Carrot	PvP	Non-Combat	11		These are all simply fun toys related to chat effects, with none of them having any benefit or relevance in a Hardcore run, let alone Casual.
Lovebug combat skills: Summon Love Gnats Summon Love Mosquito Summon Love Stinkbug	Mr. Store	Combat	0		The active skills offer a 2 to 5 round stun, an in-combat heal combined with a stagger as well as continuous stench and physical passive damage. The passive part grants either additional substats after combat, increases meat or item drops and otherwise speeds up the current ascension. Currently this doesn't compete with resources with anything else, so it's the best of its kind.
Summon Snowcones	Mr. Store	Non-Combat	2		The oldest and most expensive of the Tomes. Because of powercreep, Snowcones is generally believed to be outclassed by the newer Sugar and Stickers. Snowcone buffs only last for 20 turns and cannot be stacked. Black snowcones have a rare chance of being summoned, and offer all 5 effects for 20 turns!
Summon Stickers	Mr. Store	Non-Combat	2		Apple stickers give an impressive stat bonus at the beginning of a run and unicorn stickers provide a notable increase in item drops. The large meat drop bonus from UPC stickers makes the Nuns a breeze while wrestler stickers can provide a phenomenal stat boost at higher levels, even against the Naughty Sorceress.
Summon Sugar Sheets	Mr. Store	Non-Combat	2		The Sugar sheet allows you to specifically choose items to make, avoiding RNG screwage. If you have Torso Awaregness and make the sugar shirt, you can get +3 stats per combat turn for 30 turns. The Sugar shield gives a hefty +10 lb boost to a fairy (or any other) familiar. The Sugar shorts give an impressive 25% bonus to all stats. After any of these items wear off in 30 combat turns, the resulting Sugar shard gives a nice restoration of HP and MP. Since knives are relatively scarce, this skill could be used as a supplementary or low level complementary skill to That's Not a Knife for several Disco Bandit skills that require a knife. However, in most situations a tome summon is far more valuable.
Summon Clip Art	Mr. Store	Non-Combat	2		Summons a long list of potentially useful items including very good food and drink, buffs, stats and combat items. Of especial interest are the unbearable light, which is a handy source of Yellow Rays, the bucket of wine as a 10 drunkenness nightcap and the box of Familiar Jacks which gives you familiar items without needing to spend turns and meat in The Cake-Shaped Arena.
Summon Smithsness	Mr. Store	Non-Combat	2		An IotM so overpowered, it has its own tier. Not only can you get ridiculous amounts of item drops, stats, and ML at the same time by stacking multiple Smithsness sources (especially doable thanks to the Flaskfull of Hollow, which lasts long enough to be permanently maintainable in Hardcore), the equipment themselves have very good bonuses by itself, and any surplus ingredients can be used to make good foods, a Yellow Ray, or a banish, which Clip Art can't do due to limited casts.
Summon Candy Heart	Mr. Store	Non-Combat	Varies		Increases stats and adds a variety of very helpful effects. While not quite as powerful as snowcones, you can get a lot more of them each day and they stack nicely. White hearts increase experience gained from fights for both your character and their familiar, while orange hearts provide an excellent source of early MP.
Summon Party Favor	Mr. Store	Non-Combat	Varies		Summons a variety of miscellaneous useful objects that do a variety of things like stat-based damage and stat gains, adding MP gains to booze consumption, deleveling and pickpocketing, and running away for free and "scaring" a monster off for five adventures.
Summon Love Song	Mr. Store	Non-Combat	Varies		Can heal HP, heal MP or temporarily increase a stat, familiar weight, item or meat drop rate, or various types of damage to opponents.
Summon BRICKOs	Mr. Store	Non-Combat	Varies		Summons Brickos, which can be used to make monsters to be used for training and outfit components without stat requirements.
Summon Dice	KoL Con	Non-Combat	Varies		Summons dice that can be used in combat to stun, delevel, or do damage, or can be used out of combat to get healing items, gain buffs, or gain stat points. Helpful, but other Librams are generally considered more useful in a Hardcore ascension.
Summon Resolutions	Mr. Store	Non-Combat	Varies		Summons resolutions, which are potions that provide buffs or extra adventures.
Summon Taffy	Mr. Store	Non-Combat	Varies		Summons taffy, providing some mainstat boosts, HP or MP regen, and a few other buffs. Some nice features, but there are generally better ways to spend your MP. The undersea effects of the taffy don't tend to affect Hardcore players.
Summon Hilarious Objects	Mr. Store	Non-Combat	5		Summons a set of mostly useless objects, thus this skill is not needed, even for fast ascension. The bag of airline peanuts is a combat item that deals a small amount of damage, the clown hammer is a low-power weapon and the Wind-up chattering teeth is an attack familiar. These items can usually be purchased from other players in the /trade channel.
Summon Tasteful Items	Mr. Store	Non-Combat	5		Usable once a day to summon five random items. You will often receive a Personal massager which will automatically remove beaten-up and heal a few HP when you lose a fight. Two of the items will absorb damage in combat for a few rounds before being destroyed – not your first choice after day 1, but they pulverize to twinkly powder as well. Flavored foot massage oil will grant a significant stat gain to a randomly-selected stat for a few turns. The three campground items work well when paired with free Disco Power Naps. The last two items are purely hearty. The campground items will lose their relevance if you have access to Chateau Mantegna as they can't be installed there.
Summon Alice's Army Cards	Mr. Store	Non-Combat	5		Summons a Ye Wizard's Shack snack voucher which can be exchanged for an MP-restoring potion or a good quality food or booze. Moderately helpful, but not essential.
Summon Geeky Gifts	Mr. Store	Non-Combat	5		Summons four random gift items, and is usable once per day. The decent-quality food and booze can be helpful for low-skill hardcore players, the haggis-infused soap can help Muscle and Moxie classes without elemental damage buffs deal with physically-immune monsters, and the +25% spell damage buff from the 37x37x37 puzzle cube can be helpful to Myst classes, but on the whole, there isn't too much interesting to be found for most ascensions. However, for players who challenge the Class Act run, each cast produces 3 classy monkeys, which each allow you to banish a monster for 20 turns.
Summon Confiscated Things	Mr. Store	Non-Combat	2		Once a day, summons three items: an equipment, a class-based potion, and a social item. The equipment given is not completely random and is procedurally generated based on class, path, and days in run. Some of the equipments like the glow-in-the-dark necklace can be rather useful or have a niche use like the portable cassette player, but the others are very weak equipment with okay enchantments. The potion gives a relatively high amount of bonuses for day-one, and remain fairly useful afterwards.
Rainbow Gravitation	Traveling Trader	Non-Combat	0		Allows creation of up to 3 prismatic wads per day by combining a set of twinkly, hot, cold, stench, spooky, and sleaze wads. Adds up to 18 adventures over elemental wads per day near the end of runs and gives more stats. Requires Pulverize even to be used in hardcore and oftentimes you won't have enough items to make many prismatic wads.
Vent Rage Gland	Crimbo Town (2008)	Non-Combat	15		Grants an effect which deals passive damage but gives -10% to one stat for 5 adventures.

Controversial Skills

While most experienced players rank the skills similarly to the way they're grouped on here, a few of them are controversial. Depending on your game experience level, equipment, and goals for playing, you may have different priorities for a couple of skills. Here are the most contested rankings:

• Impetuous Sauciness and The Way of Sauce both allow considerably more use of Reagent potions to make parts of the game easier. Using those potions regularly can decrease real-life playtime and make the game less stressful to play, especially for beginners. The combination of these two skills even allows the player to spend an entire Oxygenarian run under full reagent potion coverage, provided he or she can obtain the other ingredients. Reagent potions allow players to beat bosses and adventure in high-level zones like The Haunted Gallery earlier than would otherwise be practical, which greatly speeds advancement. With potions, adventures above the beanstalk can be done more easily with monster level increasers like the hippo whip and the goth kid t-shirt equipped. However, some players can survive in the required zones without relying on stat-boosting potions. For these players, Impetuous Sauciness would be of much lower priority than it is ranked here. The Way of Sauce, of course, has its uses relating to food, even ignoring any debate over potions.
• The Polka of Plenty and Nimble Fingers are the best skills for increasing the amount of Meat you obtain from monsters. Beginner players may find that Meat farming is a major drag on their progress in the game, especially those who are using a regular blood-faced volleyball instead of a Volleychaun (the improved Mr. Store versions that also increase Meat drops). Those players may consider at least softcore perming of skills like Nimble Fingers much earlier than they are suggested here. If you are doing a lot of Oxycore runs, meat is less of an issue because you can sell all of your booze and food.
• As a single skill, Tongue of the Walrus is the most efficient early game healing skill, but its main benefit is curing Beaten Up efficiently. The skill allows you to push the monster level you can take on a little past what would be wise, with only a minor penalty if you make a mistake. Some players feel that you should not do that, and that learning a skill just to avoid Beaten Up is a waste. Others (especially more casual players) appreciate the ability to recover easily from pushing through a run faster than they should, and would rank the skill higher than it appears here. It considerably lowers how frustrating some portions of the game are to play. There are areas where becoming Beaten Up is either mandatory (e.g. the first encounter with Dr. Awkward) or likely (e.g. Level 11 Hidden Temple subquest), and this skill provides more flexibility of response to those parts of the game, regardless of how combat Beaten-Upness is weighed. Also note that Beaten-Up is removable by using A Relaxing Hot Tub – for players with access to the VIP Lounge.
• Manicotti Meditation and Sauce Contemplation give minor boosts to Mysticality and MP. That can be useful at several points in the game. They boost Mysticality without using an Accordion Thief slot, helping to wean you off of the Magical Mojomuscular Melody more quickly, thus allowing you to use a better buff (stat gains, damage, or Meat) in its place.

See Also

• When you ascend using one of the browser interfaces in KoLMafia (see Tools), it displays a nicely formatted summary of all the skills in the game, color-coded by class, showing which you have and which you're missing. For serious ascenders, it's very helpful to look at and even print out that chart periodically, and use it for planning future runs.

Ascension Strategy
Rankings:	HC Skills - HC Familiars - HC IotMs
General:	Class selection - Familiar usage - Lucky adventures
Paths:	BHY - Fist - AoB - BI - ZS - AoJ - BIG! - KOLHS - CA2 - AoSP - SS - HR - Picky - Ed - Random - AoWoL - Source - NA - GN - LtA - L.A.R. - PF - G-Lover - DD
Additional Paths:	DG - 2CRS - KoE - PotP - LKS - GG - Y,Robot - QT - WF - GY - JM - FotD
IotMs:	Tomes - Faxing - Copying - YR - Garden - Correspondent - Workshed - Tea party - Florist

• Alternative Tier List by ASS