Haiku combat

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Nopic.gif This page is in need of content.

There are probably
more, now get to pokin', so
we can wrap her up.
The Haiku Dungeon,
unlike other areas,
is all in haiku.
Haiku State of Mind
lets you bring Skullhead's haikus
everywhere you go.


Losing Initiative

Before you're ready
the fiend starts beating on you.
So much for sneaking.
The monster attacks
before you're even ready.
Dang, man. What a jerk!
"Hang on one second,"
you say, but <it> ignores you.
That trick never works.

Gaining Initiative

You leap at your foe,
throwing caution to the wind,
and get the first strike.
You jump at your foe,
and strike before <it>'s ready.
Nice and sportsmanlike.
Before <it> sees you,
you're already attacking.
You're sneaky like that.

Player Messages


Successfully Pickpocketing an item

Confused.gif You acquire something
at a serious discount
with your deft fingers.

Failing to Pickpocket an item

Y'know that... uh... thing?
That thing you just tried to do?
Well, it didn't work.
Your attempt failed.
If at first you don't succeed,
maybe just give up?

Weapon Attacks

Successful Attack

Confused.gif Curiosity
dealt X damage to the cat.
Like you to your foe.
Confused.gif Frogs avert their eyes
as you strike for X damage
sissy little frogs.
Confused.gif Justice comes swiftly
courtesy of your weapon
you do X damage.
Confused.gif You do X damage
like a peaceful summer rain
that does X damage.
Confused.gif You deal X damage
with a thrust of your weapon.
Nearby, a loon honks.
Confused.gif A freezing wind blows
you coldcock this dumb monster
for XX damage.
Confused.gif Near a jonquil branch
you hit for XX damage.
Wait. What's a jonquil?
Confused.gif Misplaced platypus
watches you hit XX damage.
Man, that thing's sure lost.
Confused.gif Your weapon flashes
a flock of herons takes flight
you hit XX times
Confused.gif Monster's desire
not to get hit XX times
sorry, evil guy.
Confused.gif XXX damage
as the stars wheel overhead
monster vertigo.
Confused.gif A tricky riddle:
who did XXX damage?
The answer: you, stud!
Confused.gif Like cherry blossoms
your blows rain down on your foe.
XXX damage.
Confused.gif Question this answer:
Just did XXX damage.
You? (suck it, Trebek!)
Confused.gif You're the bus driver
so you take your foe to school:
XXX damage.
Confused.gif Your brutal attack
deals XXXX damage
to your hapless foe.
Confused.gif A sweet summer breeze
Wafts around you as you strike
XXXX times.
Confused.gif Flocks of cranes in flight
fleeing the scene where you caused
pain beyond measure.
Confused.gif Autumn leaves falling
sound nothing like your weapon
as it smacks your foe.
Confused.gif Wow, did you see that?
Did you count the damage done?
Well, neither did I.
Confused.gif Learn self-reliance
calculate your own damage
math is hard, young one.
Confused.gif Ripples in a pond
a flowing crimson river
blood drips from your foe.

Glancing blows

Confused.gif Disappointing blow,
like a summer breeze, downwind
from a fetid swamp.


You throw some punches
great enthusiasm, but
low accuracy.
Casey at the bat,
and by "Casey" I mean "you."
A swing and a miss.
A vicious attack
as harrowing as it was
The air is still still
despite your useless flailing.
(Your attack misses.)
You swing your weapon
and hit nothing but the air.
Did the air hurt you?

Critical hits

Confused.gif That was quite a hit!
True, palpable, CRITICAL!
(Constructively so.)


These messages are followed by a "Receiving Damage" message.

A gentle spring breeze
is wafted by your weapon
as it hits the floor.
Hey, pay attention!
What just got the drop on you?
Oh. Your weapon did.
Winter icicles
easily slip through your grasp
much like your weapon.
You trip and autumn
which is a lot like falling
only it hurts more.

Receiving Damage

Hp1.gif Bamboo leaves rustle,
your blood falls like gentle rain.
You lose X hp.
Hp1.gif The cherry blossoms
are as pink as your hit points,
X of which you lose.
Hp1.gif Birds can fly away
avoiding XX damage.
You are not a bird.
Hp1.gif The blood flows like wine --
XX points' worth of wine --
from your many wounds.
Hp1.gif You feel like a worm.
A worm who was just stepped on
by XX big feet.
Hp1.gif The blood flows like wine
(XXX points' worth of wine)
from your many wounds.
Hp1.gif XXX hit points
used to be in your bloodstream.
Now they're on the ground.
Hp1.gif You got beat so hard
that I had to look away.
Seek medical help.
Hp1.gif You lose some HP --
Far, far too many to count.
My condolences.

Skill Messages

Unsuccessfully Using a Skill

This is frustrating --
you can't use that skill right now.
You kick a pebble.

Dealing Damage via a Skill

You use your mad skills,
lay the smack down on your foe:
you did X damage.
You do X damage
as the harvest moon rises.
Skilled adventurer!
You've got some mad skills,
one of which you have just used
to deal X damage.
Marketable skills?
Not so much, but useful for
dealing X damage.
A nearby frog croaks,
your foe takes XX damage
at your skillful hands.
You use that one skill
you know, that one skill you have?
XX damage, yo.
A skillful attack
while the koi sleep in their pond
does XX damage.
The sound of your skill
echoes off a canyon wall.
XXX damage...
You show to your foe
you're skilled in the ways of PAIN:
XXX damage.
By a limpid pool
you deal XXX damage
using your mad skills.
Like a skillful frog
you do XXX damage.
Wait, a skillful frog?
By using a skill,
you deal a lot of damage.
How much? A whole bunch.

Dealing Damage via a Spell

Punching's for suckers.
You work up a spell instead
it does X damage.
You work up a spell
It's magic'lly malicious
doing X damage.
You decide to do
some prestidigitation
dealing X damage.
Your arcane magic
deals X damage to your foe
beneath the spring moon.
Mighty magician
can you spell XX damage?
I knew that you could.
For XX damage,
you eff the ineffable.
That was effin' great!
For XX damage,
you scrute the inscrutable.
Now your foe is screwed.
Your powerful spell
blasts your hapless opponent
for XX damage.
Mystic forces swell
like a stream after the rain
XX damage flows.
Lotus blossoms bloom
as the spell you just cast does
XXX damage.
Inscrutable koi
are not as mystic as you.
XXX damage.
A blast of magic
about XXX points big
from you to your foe.
XXX damage
from the mighty spell you cast:
You recite a spell
XXX damage bursts forth
wow, that looked painful.
A blast of magic
about XXX points big
from you to your foe.
That was quite a spell!
It did a bunch of damage!
More than you could count!
Vicious spell attack
hope I'm on your good side, man
you're smart and funny.
Infinite damage
from the spell that you just cast.
That was brutal, man.
Birds drop from the sky.
Your spell did so much damage
they forgot to fly.
Your pupils go black
mass prestidigitation:
infinite carnage.

Using Entangling Noodles

The moons shine above
as you cast yourself a spell.
Magic, man... Magic.

Jiggling a Chefstaff

You jiggle a stick
and assorted things happen.
Just like summer camp.

Casting Summon Mayfly Swarm

Mayflies3.gif Brief pleasures of spring
May flies when you're having fun.
Swarms arrive, leave. Poof!
Mayflies3.gif Like a soft spring breeze,
a swarm of mayflies buzz in,
do something, then leave.

Other Successful Skill Usage

You act skillfully
and in acting skillfully
accomplish something.

Summoning Pasta Guardians

You enlist some aid
from a powerful ally.
Powerful tasty.

Combat Items

Items with No Effect

Confused.gif Leaping to action,
you do some stuff with a thing.
It's a lot of fun.
Confused.gif You use an item
to some inscrutable end.
Hope that worked for you.

Dealing Damage via Combat Items

Confused.gif You sling an item
like a mighty summer storm
dealing X damage.
Confused.gif You whip out a thing
no, not that thing, you pervert.
It deals X damage.
Confused.gif Like a killing frost
that deals XX damage points:
a combat item.
Confused.gif That thing you just threw
just hit for XX damage.
Yay, combat item!
Confused.gif XXX damage
that's a lot of mayhem dealt
go, combat items!
Confused.gif You sling an item
which deals XXX damage:
delicious mayhem.
Confused.gif So much carnage dealt
by the item you just threw.
I just couldn't watch.
Confused.gif Sorry, I can't say
How hard your item just hit.
Blame my coffee break.

Passive Damage Dealt or Gnomitronic Hyperspatial Demodulizer Used

I don't hear so well.
Did your foe ask for more pain?
I'll assume they did.

HP Gain

Hp1.gif Your wounds fly away
on a refreshing spring breeze.
You gain X hit points.
Hp1.gif When XX hit points
are restored to your body,
you make an "ahhhhhhhh" sound.
Hp1.gif You're feeling better --
XXX hit points better --
than you were before.
Hp1.gif You gain some hit points,
but even the wisest sage
knows not how many.

MP Gain

Mpoints.gif You feel quite refreshed,
like a frog drinking soda,
gaining X MP.
Mpoints.gif A contented belch.
Ripples in a mystic pond.
You gain X MP.
Mpoints.gif Like that wimp Dexter,
you have become ENERGIZED,
with XX MP.
Mpoints.gif XX magic points
fall upon you like spring rain.
Mana from heaven.
Mpoints.gif Spring rain falls within
metaphorically, I mean.
XXX mp.
Mpoints.gif XXX MP.
Like that sports drink commercial --
is it in you? Yes.
Mpoints.gif Cold, clear winter night
can you number all the stars?
you gain much mp.
Mpoints.gif Like sand on a beach
the mp you just garnered
cannot be counted.

MP Loss

Mpoints.gif You lose X MP
like a carp in a still pond
who lost X MP.
Mpoints.gif Ancient wisdom states:
if you love your X MP
you must set it free.
Mpoints.gif Sweet XX MP
vanishes into the air
like a summer wind.
Mpoints.gif Remember just now,
when you lost XX MP?
That was pretty lame.
Mpoints.gif Indifferent sun
mourns not XXX MP.
Man, that sun's a jerk.
Mpoints.gif MP fall from you
like XXX falling leaves.
Autumn is so lame.

Running Away


Your burps taste like pride,
'cause that's what you just swallowed,
as you ran away.
You beat a retreat,
marching to the eat of a
cowardly drummer.


Sweet, lovely freedom,
like the highest-hanging fruit,
is beyond your grasp.
You try to retreat,
but your legs are not as strong
as your cowardice.
You make like a tree
but it is a winter tree
so you do not leave.

Familiar Messages

Stat Point Increasing

Confused.gif Your familiar grins
smiles are lousy umbrellas
but good for the soul.
Confused.gif Your familiar smiles,
you feel a big surge of pride.
You take a quick bow.
Confused.gif You take a breather.
Your familiar smiles at you.
High-five, little friend!
Confused.gif Victory is yours!
Your familiar broadly grins
filling you with hope.
Confused.gif Sanguine, serene smile
Life is better than it seems
thank you, familiar.

Meat Drop Increasing

Confused.gif Your familiar winks,
making you feel wealthier.
The Meat helps, too.
Confused.gif You wish you had Meat.
Your familiar blinks one eye.
Oo, wish for ponies.
Confused.gif Your familiar winks
Meat don't grow on trees, you know
it's there on the ground.
Confused.gif When the dust settles
your familiar blinks at you
but forgets one eye.
Confused.gif Winking familiar
more Meat for you from this fight.
Coincidence? No.

Item Drop Increasing

Confused.gif Your comrade dances,
helping you find stuff... somehow?
We don't make the rules.
Confused.gif After the battle,
your familiar dances 'round,
helping you find stuff.
Confused.gif Lotus blossoms bloom
Your familiar busts a move.
Hey, look, some items!
Confused.gif Like a bumblebee
your familiar does a dance
pointing out more loot.
Confused.gif Dancing familiar
looks ridiculous, it's true
but you find more stuff.


Confused.gif Your familiar sucks,
which is a good thing for you,
but bad for monsters.
Confused.gif Your pet joins the fray
slowing your enemy down
Right on, little guy!
Confused.gif Your pet latches on
sucking your foe's will to live.
Lotus blossoms fall.
Confused.gif Tiny familiar
judge it by its size, do you?
It slows down your foe.


Confused.gif A startled heron
cranes its neck to see your friend
hit for %dmg damage.
Confused.gif Crickets loudly chirp,
Your pet throws down X damage
Wow! By Jiminy!
Confused.gif Wind through the bamboo
From the punches your pet throws
doing X damage.
Confused.gif Your little buddy
deals X damage to your foe.
Friendship is awesome.
Confused.gif Your girlfriend was wrong:
Your pet hits for X damage.
Size doesn't matter.
Confused.gif Friends with benefits:
your pet hits for X damage.
Wha'd you think I meant?
Confused.gif A warm summer rain
of X blows falls on your foe,
thanks to your buddy.
Confused.gif Generous buddy
shares XX blows with your foe.
How magnanimous!
Confused.gif You can't bear too look
as your pet leaps in the fray.
You hear XX SMACKS.
Confused.gif Oblivious frogs
don't see your familiar hit
for XX damage.
Confused.gif Placid, tranquil pond
Contrasts starkly with your pet,
which hits XX times.
Confused.gif Sometimes love can hurt
your pet clearly loves your foe
XX different ways.
Confused.gif Bloodthirsty midget
your familiar swiftly strikes
for XX damage.
Confused.gif You abhor vi'lence
but your buddy disagrees
striking XX times.
Confused.gif Your familiar hits,
inflicting XX damage.
Nice work, little guy!
Confused.gif Wars not make one great
but your pet's XX damage
sure isn't half bad.
Confused.gif Twilight silence falls
Your pet does XX damage.
Violent little guy.
Confused.gif XXX damage
that's how hard your pet just hit.
Such great loyalty!
Confused.gif Irrelevant koi
swim nearby as your pet deals
XXX damage.
Confused.gif Faithful companion
hits for XXX damage.
Make sure you say thanks.
Confused.gif You care for your pet
loyalty rewarded with
XXX damage.
Confused.gif Your little buddy
inflicts XXX damage
Friendship is awesome.
Confused.gif Before you can blink
Your familiar swiftly throws
XXX punches.
Confused.gif Lotus blossoms bloom
your pet hits XXX times
handy little guy.
Confused.gif Wow, did you just see
how much damage your friend did?
Well, neither did I.
Confused.gif Contemptuous foe
underestimates your pet
and gets beaten down.
Confused.gif Your little buddy
inflicts a lot of damage.
Way too much to count.
Confused.gif Stars in the night sky
too many to be counted
like your pet's attack.
Confused.gif You can't bear to look
As your buddy joins the fight
that sounded painful.


Confused.gif Your pet steps forward,
stops your foe from reaching you.
Thanks, little buddy!
Confused.gif Frogs on lily pads
a monster's attack thwarted
thank you, familiar!
Confused.gif Like a winter frost
your pet stops your foe's attack.
That was pretty cool.
Confused.gif Imminent attack
your familiar quickly leaps
tranquil stillness reigns.
Confused.gif Brave little buddy
rescues you from a beat-down.
What a loyal friend!


Confused.gif Aw, that was so cute!
I wish you had just seen what
your buddy just did.
Confused.gif Mysterious friend
what did your familiar do?
Meditate on that.
Confused.gif While you're not looking,
your familiar does something.
Wonder what it was.
Confused.gif Your familiar acts,
but you don't see what it does.
I'm sure it was cute.
Confused.gif Your familiar strikes
just like a tiny ninja
(you missed what it did).

Leveling Up

Confused.gif From that vicious fight
your familiar gains a pound.
Vi'lence is its food.
Confused.gif Your little buddy
is now slightly less little,
having gained a pound.
Confused.gif From the exercise
your familiar puts on weight.
But it's all muscle.
Confused.gif Your pet's gaining weight
best that you not mention it
for its self-esteem.
Confused.gif Your pet gains a pound
perhaps you should say something:
"lay off the twinkies."
Confused.gif Your pet gains a pound.
Now there's more of it to love.
Just don't tell it that.

Enemy messages

Introduction Text

Spring is for lovers,
but autumn is for fighting.
You see a leaf fall.
You are in combat,
but you probably knew that.
Sorry to bug you.
Like a fierce cobra
fighting a deadly mongoose,
you're fighting this thing.

Entering Combat

Monsters step to you
what was that about your mom?
Time to regulate.
Fighting solves nothing,
but you really must admit
it helps pass the time.
A fiendish monster
isn't always a bad thing.
This one, though? It is.
Hey, look, a monster!
Get medieval on its ass
or post-Renaissance.
Like a serene pond
you're not looking for a fight.
Sadly, one found you.

Hit Messages

Beatenup.gif A blow to the throat
A frog croaks in the stillness
Oh, wait, that was you.
Beatenup.gif A crushing blow lands
an ancient song fills your head:
"Ow! Arg! Yeowch! Arg! Ow!"
Beatenup.gif Graceful cranes in flight
they were startled by the sound
of you getting hit.
Beatenup.gif He hits your XX.
The sound of breaking XX
hangs in the still air.
Beatenup.gif Koi in a still pond
never get hit in the XX.
Lucky, lucky koi.
Beatenup.gif Summer turns to fall
life's all about give and take.
So you take a punch.

Miss Messages

Your foe misses you
like your mother, wondering
"Why doesn't he write?"
Your foe's last attack
was like spitting in the sea:
It lunges at you,
but ah, Zeno's paradox.
It never makes it.
A gentle zephyr
caresses your tranquil face,
from your foe's missed blow.
Tranquil summer nights
much like his attack attempts
do not hurt at all.
An enraged monster
throws a series of wild blows,
He tries to bite you,
but due to your fast footwork,
bites only thin air.
Spring near a still pond
is somewhat like this moment:
Neither one hurts you.

Special Attacks

Sad.gif Your foe must have sleeves,
because there were tricks up them.
Painful, nasty tricks.
Sad.gif Your powerful foe
does something unusual
and no doubt harmful.
An icicle falls
impaling you in reverse.
What is "OUCH!" backwards?

Dealing Passive or Counter-Attack Damage

You take some damage.
In case it was to your ears:

Enemy Is Stunned (except for Disco Blindness, which gives no message)

The monster is stunned
by your panache, your good looks,
and some other thing.

End of Combat

Combat Times Out

The fight has ended.
Not victory, not defeat,
just intense boredom.

Losing the Fight

What's with all this blood?
No really, whose blood is this?
Oh, dammit -- it's yours.
Your face hits the floor
and you comprehend the truth:
You just lost. Loser.
Meditate on loss,
because that's what just happened.
Hope you learned something.

Winning the Fight

Happy.gif With your final blow,
you deliver the smackdown.
Sweet, sweet victory.
Happy.gif You're victorious,
so your name must be Victor.
To you go the spoils.
Happy.gif Your foe hits the floor
like a bag full of wet sand.
It looks like you've won!
Happy.gif You did your best, friend.
Losers whine about their best
but you're no loser!
Happy.gif Know what time it is?
Time for a victory dance!
A winner is you!

Gaining Substats

Muscle Substats

Strboost.gif Biceps, triceps, abs,
combat's quite a workout, huh?
You gain X muscle.
Strboost.gif You work up a sweat,
gain X muscle from the fight.
Sweet! Now go shower.
Strboost.gif Gentle reeds must bend
but you're mightier than that.
You gain X muscle.
Strboost.gif You're feeling stronger,
having gained X Beefiness.
Mighty mighty you.
Strboost.gif XX muscle gained.
You flex your brawny biceps.
Time for the gun show.
Strboost.gif Do you know a vet?
Because these puppies are sick.
You gain XX brawn.
Strboost.gif Your muscles tingle,
some muscles more than others.
You get XX brawn.
Strboost.gif All will fear your might.
XX muscularity
fills your mighty bod.
Strboost.gif XXX muscle:
someone needs to call a vet.
These pythons are sick.
Strboost.gif Like the mighty oak
you stand strong before the gale:
XXX muscle.
Strboost.gif Time for the gun show
with your XXXX brawn
you've got your ticket.
Strboost.gif XXXX brawn:
No one will step to you now.
Flex those wicked pecs.
Strboost.gif You feel the burn
as your muscles get stronger.
You grunt like an ape.
Strboost.gif You aching muscles
are evidence of your growth.
No pain, no gain, bra.

Gaining a Muscle Point

Strboost.gif Flex that bicep! Yeah!
You just gained a Muscle point.
You're the man now, dog.
Strboost.gif You been workin' out?
'Cause you're lookin' pretty buff!
(Your Muscle went up.)
Strboost.gif Your rippling muscles
strike fear into enemies.
Stat gain for the win.

Gaining Mysticality substats:

Snowflakes.gif Nothing up your sleeve
X magic in your brainpan.
Snowflakes.gif Delicious magic
Your hungry brain scarfs it down.
Yum! It tastes like X!
Snowflakes.gif Stars wheel above you.
Ancient wisdom fills your brain.
You gain X magic!
Snowflakes.gif You gain X magic.
Pull a rabbit from a hat?
Nah, that's too cliche.
Snowflakes.gif Relax post-combat
contemplate the infinite
gain XX wisdom.
Snowflakes.gif Swirling cosmic rays
penetrate you XX times
then they never call.
Snowflakes.gif XXX magic
enters into your third eye.
Man, that kind of stings.
Snowflakes.gif Mystic forces swell
XXX points fill your brain.
Hocus pocus, yo.
Snowflakes.gif XXXX points?
That's a lot of magic, dude.
Gather it all up.
Snowflakes.gif Wow, did you just gain
XXXX magic points?
Yup, you really did.
Snowflakes.gif Magic lolhaiku:
My XXXX new points
let me show you them.
Snowflakes.gif Want some magic, kid?
First XXXX are free.
The rest will cost you.
Snowflakes.gif You feel much smarter
as a result of the fight.
See? Learning is fun!
Snowflakes.gif You pause, meditate,
considering the battle.
You really kicked ass!

Gaining a Mysticality Point

Snowflakes.gif Mysticality.
For you, it has just increased.
Snowflakes.gif The planets aligned,
your Mysticality rose.
By an entire point!

Gaining Moxie Substats

Wink.gif Extend both your thumbs.
Who just got X more Moxie?
You assert: this guy!
Wink.gif Tranquil zen gardens
look uptight next to your cool
you get X more Smarm.
Wink.gif Like a winter breeze,
keeping your cool in battle,
you gain X Chutzpah.
Wink.gif A refreshing pond
Is still not as cool as you
you gain X Moxie.
Wink.gif Blazing autumn leaves
are not as awesome as you.
Gain XX moxie.
Wink.gif You've got more Chutzpah.
XX more, to be exact.
You high-five yourself.
Wink.gif Your friends gaze in awe.
Your new XXX moxie
turns them springtime green.
Wink.gif Post-battle strutting
nets you XXX Chutzpah.
Stylish and deadly.
Wink.gif Wow, how cool are you?
Spring breeze cool. To be precise:
XXXX cool.
Wink.gif Post-battle strutting
nets you XXXX Smarm.
Stylish and deadly.
Wink.gif You strut your stuff, 'cause
no matter what your mom said,
fighting makes you cool.
Wink.gif Having coldcocked him,
now you're the cock of the walk.
Just don't get cocky.

Gaining a Moxie Point

Wink.gif Here's some welcome news:
You just gained a Moxie point!
Go get 'em, tiger!
Wink.gif You're as smooth as silk,
as cool as a popsicle.
Your Moxie went up!

Leveling Up

You've gained an entire level!
That's pretty awesome!
Your power, it grows
stronger than ever before.
You've gained a level!
Hey, guess what, guess what?
I've got a surprise for you!
You leveled up! Whoo!

Overkilling Hobos in Hobopolis Town Square

Holy freakin' cow!
You beat that hobo down good!
(Good for you, not him.)

Getting Meat

Meat.gif What's this on the ground?
You have discovered X Meat.
Time to go shopping!
Meat.gif You acquire X Meat.
That was easy, wasn't it?
Like Sunday mornin'.
Meat.gif Are you feeling poor?
Do you wish you had X Meat?
Your wish is granted!
Meat.gif If meat grows on trees,
then it must be autumn now:
you gain XX meat.
Meat.gif You find XX Meat
just lying there on the ground.
Wow! What are the odds!?
Meat.gif You find XX Meat,
and decide you will keep it.
Meat.gif The harvest moon glows
you can see XXX Meat
ripe for the picking.
Meat.gif On the nearby ground
you can see XXX Meat.
Score! You pick it up.
Meat.gif XXXX Meat
lies on the ground before you.
Sweet! You pocket it.
Meat.gif XXXX Meat
does not grow on trees, you know.
It lies on the ground.
Meat.gif Blessed currency!
You find some Meat and increase
your buying power.
Meat.gif You gain so much meat.
Know what's totally awesome?

Item Drops

Confused.gif Cranes frozen in flight
time seems to stand still for you
As you spy a X.
Confused.gif By the harvest moon
you can spy a gleaming X.
You hork it and jet.
Confused.gif Hey, look, it's a X!
Just like grandma used to make.
Gaffle it right now.
Confused.gif By a lotus plant
You see a nifty XX.
You grab it and go.
Confused.gif Wind through the bamboo
whispers, "here, have a XX."
You do not argue.
Confused.gif Hey, want a XX?
Feel the greed within you rise
come to the dark side.
Confused.gif Loot falls like spring rain,
keen eyes spy a XXX.
Yoink! Now it is yours.
Confused.gif Can't get what you want,
unless it's an XXX.
Confused.gif A XXXX
is now yours for the taking.
As such, you take it.
Confused.gif You find an item.
A XXXX, in fact.
A looter is you!
Confused.gif XXXXX
was once your foe's, is now yours.
Beaters-up, keepers.
Confused.gif Near you on the ground
is a XXXXX.
You hork it and jet.
Confused.gif Hey, look: it's a thing!
Just like you've always wanted!
Snag it while you can.
Confused.gif You find an item,
and trust me when I tell you:
it's quite a nice one!

Gaining MP

You put your feet up
and contemplate the battle.
You're pretty badass.
After the battle,
like an iron lung burglar,
you take a breather.
The fight is over.
You lie tranquil on the ground,
maxin', relaxin'.
That was a hard fight.
You deserve a break today,
so you rest a while.

Cold-Blooded Warm Fuzzies

A turtle appears
Drops an item at your feet
You feel warm inside.

Crimbo Nostalgia

Crimbo memories
Like a Yule log in your heart
Only less painful.



You twiddle your thumbs.
It's not very productive,
but it's kinda fun.

Gaining an Effect (Other than via Rave combos)

Confused.gif You're effectual
on account of the effect
you have just acquired.
Confused.gif You gain an effect.
Impromptu grammar lesson:
effects affect you.

Item Stolen by Dolphin (Underwater)

Confused.gif An item does drop,
But the water slows you down,
A dolphin takes it.


  • See all those X's?
    Each X is a syllable
    that fits in the gap.

    For instance, XX
    could be sixteen, or ninety,
    or seven, or else.

    Keep in mind, also,
    numbers are shown instead of
    being written out.

    However, when none
    are shown the number has too
    many syllables.
  • Keep an eye on your
    stats-- gaining lots shows the same
    haiku as just one.
  • Temporary Blind-
    doesn't work quite right: "You're
    fighting the darkness."

    Attack messages
    give the monster's name away;
    Miss messages too.
  • Other sources of
    items use the same message
    as the item drops.
  • Rave combos once failed
    to produce any message
    on their performance.

    Now Concentration
    And Nirvana show normal
    Haiku for effects.

    Similarly, Rave
    Steal shows the haiku you get
    When an item drops.
  • Ellsbury's skull speaks.
    Syllables rush like a stream,
    unlike a haiku.
  • With a sickly moan,
    your fallen opponent does
    not respect haiku.
  • Elves and reindeer said
    "Proselytize some monsters!"
    No haiku occurred.


Combat messages - edit
Haiku combat | Anapest combat | Deep Machine combat | Player Hit Messages