Hagnk's Ancestral Mini-Storage

Hagnk's Ancestral Mini-Storage is where a player's items are placed when they ascend. All items in your closet and inventory are automatically placed in Hagnk's. (Display Case items remain in your display case, and store items remain in your store.) Hagnk's can usually be found on the Right Side of the Tracks. However, in a Bad Moon Ascension, he can be found in Hey Deze.

Once ascended, a player going the normal route may remove a combination of up to 20 items or 20,000 meat per day (such that 1,000 meat counts as 1 item). If you attempt to take too many items at once, you will see the following message:

That action would exceed your item limit. I think you should only take X.

When the Ronin phase ends, all items and meat may be removed from Hagnk's. When you choose to remove all of your items, you will see the following message:

Hagnk leans back and yells something ugnigntelligible to a group of Knob Goblin teegnage delignquegnts, who go and grab all of your stuff from storage and bring it to you.

If there is anything stored in the closet, this is appended on the same line:

(And store X items in your closet.)

During a softcore or Hardcore ascension, certain items can be taken from Hagnk's without counting towards the 20 items for a given day.

Also, during Hardcore ascensions, Mr. Accessories may be removed from storage for the sole purpose of trading at the Mr. Store. A hardcore player may NOT equip the Mr. Accessory, or any early Mr. Store equipment (whether familiar equipment, such as the wax lips, or player equipment, such as Iceberglet items) that they purchase. They may, however, utilize any familiar purchased at Mr. Store. As of 2015, most equipment in Mr. Store auto-pulls from Hagnk's, and can be used in Hardcore.

At the end of a hardcore ascension, after freeing King Ralph, you regain access to your stuff in order to rearrange it and/or prepare for your next life. Previously, if you were to complete a hardcore ascension in fewer than 1000 turns, you would have found yourself subject to Ronin limitations just like in a softcore (normal) ascension. This was, however, changed April 2, 2009 in an update: "Happy Groundhog Day! Ronin now ends when you free King Ralph, and if you're in Hardcore, you can access any unavailable permanent skills you have from your account menu."

Currently

Hi! I'm Hagnk. I just got back from the Eldritch Otherworld. I'm so thagnkful that everyogne was very concergned about my absegnce and worked to bring me back!

Prior to February 8, 2017

You have X eldritch ichor. Toss it in! You have tossed X ichor into the fissure.

A barely audible voice echoes out of the fissure, "Dr. Gordon Stuart has devised a clever plan. Toss all the eldritch ichor you can through this fissure. I'll slither over and toss it into the nearby endless chasm of doom. Once enough of Sssshhsssblllrrggghsssssggggrrgglsssshhssslblgl's ichor is in this world and in the chasm, he should be forced back and trapped in this terrible otherworld of unspeakable torture. I'm fine by the way, I'm glad you all worked so hard to bring me back during Crimbo."

When contributing eldritch ichor:

You toss the ichor into the fissure and hear a distant voice, "Thanks a lot! We can save the Kingdom!"

You acquire an effect: Hagnk's Gratitude (duration: ichor/11 Adventures)

Prior to February 3, 2017

A barely audible voice echoes out of the fissure, "Thanks for whatever you guys did out thre[sic], the tentacles that have been squeezing and tugging and probing me for the past weeks have gone away. Hopefully I'll hobble back to our dimension soon! Your stuff is all fine, though."

Prior to January 12th?, 2017

A barely audible voice echoes out of the fissure, "Don't worry adventurer, this is but agnother in a long line of catastophes. I'm sure I, and all your stuff, will come out mostly alright. Tell the Knob Goblins if you gneed anything."

Prior to November 4th, 2016

If you have never ascended:

If you have at least one ascension:

I'm Admiral Hagnk. I'm a real war hero, y'kgnow. Just ask my arm. Oh wait, you cagn't, because it got blowgn off. Anyway. What can I help you with?

If in a Actually Ed the Undying ascension:

A one-armed gnome in a military cap salutes you. "I'm Admiral Hagnk," he says. "Welcome to Hagnk's Ancestral Mini-Storage. What can I help you with?" "Well," you say, "I'm a... friend of an adventurer named <playername>, and he sent me to pick up some stuff." "Hmm." Hagnk narrows his eyes. "How do I know you aren't just a burglar?" "Well, I dunno, <playername> just said to tell the distinguished-looking war hero that he sent me, and I assume he meant you. Anyway, would a burglar ask permission?" Hagnk, looking quite pleased, nods pleasantly. "Well now, I can't argue with that logic. Right this way, sir!" Anyway. What can I help you with?

If you are in a Bad Moon ascension:

A grisly disembodied gnome arm stirs to life as you approach, and scratches this message in the coarse sand: NO KILL I. NOT THAT YOU WOULD. I'M HAGNK'S ARM. WHILE I'M WAITIGNG FOR THE REST OF HIM TO SHOW UP, I'M STUCK GUARDIGNG THIS BASKET. LET ME KGNOW IF YOU NEED ANYTHING OUT OF IT.

Prior to May 17, 2011

I'm Admiral Hagnk, and to be perfectly honest, I don't have time for this right now. I've got a war to fight! Anyway. What can I help you with?

If you are in a Bad Moon ascension:

Hello, Tall One! I'm Hagnk, the former proprietor of Hagnk's Ancestral Mini-Storage. As you cagn see, I've been sent to Hey Deze -- probably to pugnish me for some crime I committed in a past life. At least they were kind enough to give me this hagndbasket, which is, conveniently, large egnough to store the entire contents of my old busigness. Anyway. What can I help you with?

Prior to May 10, 2011

If you have at least one ascension:

Hello, Tall One! I'm Hagnk, the proprietor of Hagnk's Ancestral Mini-Storage. My mini-storage has fignally been rebuilt, Adventurer, thanks to the efforts of concergned citizens like you. See that brick behignd me? That brick was dognated by [user]! If the brick has an attached message: He/She even wrote a message on it: <message> (look at some more bricks) Anyway. What can I help you with?

If you have never ascended:

If you are in a Bad Moon ascension:

Hello, Tall One! I'm Hagnk, the former proprietor of Hagnk's Ancestral Mini-Storage. As you cagn see, I've been sent to Hey Deze -- probably to pugnish me for some crime I committed in a past life. At least they were kind enough to give me this hagndbasket, which is, conveniently, large egnough to store the entire contents of my old busigness. Anyway. What can I help you with?

Prior to September 19, 2007

Hello, Tall One! I'm Hagnk, the proprietor of Hagnk's Ancestral Mini-Storage. Please pardon our dust, Tall One! We're hard at work repairing all of the damage my poor, poor shop has sustained over the last couple of years. Construction should be complete within a week or so! Anyway. What can I help you with?

Prior to June 29?, 2007

Hello, Tall One! I'm Hagnk, the proprietor of Hagnk's Ancestral Mini-Storage. The ice from the observatory ruins melted and completely flooded our shop. At least it put out the fire, right? Always look ogn the bright side, that's what my old Granddad used to say! Of course, he was completely megntally unstable. Dogn't worry, though, all your items are still safe in our secure undergrougnd storage area. And at least the worst is over, right? Please pardon our dust, Tall One! We're hard at work repairing all of the damage my poor, poor shop has sustained over the last couple of years. Construction should be complete within a week or so! Anyway. How can I help you?

Prior to June 24, 2007

Hello, Tall One! I'm Hagnk, the proprietor of Hagnk's Ancestral Mini-Storage. The ice from the observatory ruins melted and completely flooded our shop. At least it put out the fire, right? Always look ogn the bright side, that's what my old Granddad used to say! Of course, he was completely megntally unstable. Dogn't worry, though, all your items are still safe in our secure undergrougnd storage area. And at least the worst is over, right? Anyway. How can I help you?

Prior to June 4th, 2006

Hello, Tall One! I'm Hagnk, the proprietor of Hagnk's Ancestral Mini-Storage. We had a good-sized chunk of ice hit our building, here, but I'm confident that everythigng will be figne. At least the worst is over, right? Don't worry, all of your items are in our secure underground storage area. Anyway. How can I help you?

Prior to June 2nd, 2006

As you can see, we had a little bit of a problem, here. A temporal rift opened up inside the building, and it was apparently connected to a time when everything was on fire. Most of our stored items are intact, but we're still fishing some stuff out of the ashes.

Notes

• When you donate for a Mr. Accessory during your ronin phase (or in hardcore), it will go directly into your inventory, bypassing Hagnk's. This can be very useful if you are speed ascending, since that means you can obtain an item from Mr. Store without expending one of your pulls.
• Trying to pull zero quantity of any item will pull the item multiple times until you run out of pulls or the item.
• As of 2022/01/01, you can only pull one of each unique item per day (attempting to pull multiple will only remove one from storage). Attempting to pull a second gives the following message:

You already pulled one of those today.

• If you have never ascended, the site of Hagnk's appears as an unclickable construction site.
• In a Zombie Slayer run, Hangk isn't around, but the storage works as usual:

Hagnk's Ancestral Mini-Storage appears to be empty. Well, not empty -- it's still full of everybody's junk. But there aren't any people around. Okay, well, there's a few zombies milling about, but those aren't the same as people. On reflection, I guess it isn't that empty after all.

All of the zombies seem to be of normal height. Maybe Hagnk locked himself inside one of the storage units.

You shuffle down the hall until you find your locker.

History

• After White Wednesday, a temporal rift caused the Mini-storage to burn down.
• Just before rollover on June 2nd, 2006, Hagnk's was once again damaged, when it was struck by a large icy chunk of comet.
• By June 4th, 2006, the ice melted, leaving only a damp mess.

References

• Hagnk's is an incarnation of a self storage unit.
• The comment about a time when everything was on fire could be a reference to a Family Guy episode when Peter mentions that he once built a time machine with a De Lorean, referring to the movie Back to the Future. Peter then crashes the car into a building, lighting it and the people inside on fire. Peter then remarks "Wow. Everyone in 1955 was on fire. I never knew that."
• Hagnk's hagndbasket (in the Bad Moon message) is a reference to the phrase 'going to hell in a handbasket'.
• The phrase "NO KILL I", scratched in the sand by Hagnk's arm, is the same phrase etched into stone by the Horta in the Star Trek episode "The Devil in the Dark".