Gurgle the Turgle

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Gurgle the Turgle
Monster ID 1768
Locations Uncle Gator's Country Fun-Time Liquid Waste Sluice
Hit Points 75% of Defense
Attack Player's Moxie+5
Defense Player's Muscle+5
Initiative 0
Meat None
Phylum construct
Elements stench
Resistance None
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, shell
turtle voicebox, fake washboard
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Gurgle the Turgle You're fighting Gurgle the Turgle

You hear a strange rattling, buzzing, scraping noise, and cautiously turn around to face whatever horrible swamp monstrosity you're about to... face. It turns out to be an animatronic hillbilly turtle with a washboard strapped to its chest, which it's running its claws up and down to make a sound that is, if not musical, then at least the exact opposite of musical.

It jerkily raises one arm to wave its hat at you (one of those cartoon hillbilly hats that look like a cross between a cowboy hat and a top hat -- what even are those?), and makes a friendly sort of chortling sound. You're just about starting to relax, when it opens its mouth and reveals that it also serves as a disguised park fire hydrant.

Hit Message(s):

The turtle sprays you with sewer water, hitting you in the <ankle> and also everywhere else. At least you aren't on fire?
Eek! Ouch! Oof! Argh! Ooh! Ooh! Ugh! Oof! (stench damage)

The turtle-robot-fire hydrant sprays you with sewer water -- it turns out letting a smile be your umbrella wasn't the best idea.
Eek! Argh! Argh! Oof! Ow! Oof! Ow! (stench damage)

Critical Hit Message:

The turtle-hydrant hoses you down with a high-pressure spray of filthy sewer water. Unfortunately, you didn't get any of it not in your mouth. (CRITICAL HIT!)
Ouch! Eek! Argh! Argh! Eek! Oof! Eek! Oof! (stench damage)

Miss Message(s):

The robot sputters for a bit and coughs out a glob of something you don't feel like inspecting closely.

The turtle unleashes a gout of high-pressure sewage; fortunately, you're standing behind him.

Fumble Message:

The robot turtle gurgles cheerfully while scraping on its washboard. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Turtlebox.gifYou acquire an item: turtle voicebox (15% chance)*
Washboard.gifYou acquire an item: fake washboard (0.1% chance)*

Occurs at Uncle Gator's Country Fun-Time Liquid Waste Sluice.


  • This monster scales to your stats plus 5 (total minimum 10, maximum 11111?), plus +ML.