Gunther, Lord of the Smackdown
Gunther, Lord of the Smackdown is located in the Brotherhood of the Smackdown. He decides whether or not you may enter the guild by giving you a challenge. Passing the challenge will unlock all sections of the guild.
- Initial text:
"So, you want to join the Brotherhood of the Smackdown, eh?" Gunther asks. "Well, first you'll have to prove your manliness!"
(male characters) "Okay," you reply. "What do I have to do?"
(female characters) "Since I'm actually a woman, I'll assume you're speaking metaphorically," you reply. "What do I have to do?"
"Our usual test of manhood is a sausage-measuring competition."
"The Knob Goblins of the Nearby Plains are the Kingdom's premier sausage-makers. They guard their sausages jealously -- particularly the big ones. Go there and find the biggest sausage you can, defeat or intimidate the guards, and bring the sausage back here for measurement."
- Followup text:
"Did you bring back a sausage for your initiation?"
"I'm still working on it," you reply.
"Remember, it has to be a really big one!"
"You know, I always heard it wasn't the size of the sausage that was important, but the condiments you use to garnish it."
"That sort of talk is not going to get you into the Brotherhood of the Smackdown," Gunther growls.
- Returning with an 11-inch knob sausage
You pull out your giant sausage and give it to Gunther. He looks suitably impressed.
"Eleven inches!" he exclaims. "That's the biggest one I've seen since that Holmes fella joined, back in '72!"
He shakes your hand and reaches around to give you a firm pat on the back. "Well done, initiate! Welcome to the Brotherhood of the Smackdown!
You should talk to Torg if you want to train some skills. And see the guy at the Smacketeria about getting some provisions.
Oh, and if you want to use the guild Meatcar, talk to Olaf, the janitor."
- After the challenge is completed:
"Hey, good to see you again, Brother! Take a load off! Chat with your fellow Adventurers.
And don't forget to talk to Torg every once in a while to see if he's got any new combat techniques to teach you."
- Additionally if Olaf has a task for you:
Oh, also, go talk to Olaf if you want to use the guild Meatcar to go down to The Shore. He had it last."
- If attempting a challenge while falling-down drunk you get the message:
- You're too drunk to attempt the challenge.
- Given the whirlwind of double entendres in this quest, it's no surprise that the "Holmes fella" Gunther mentions is a famed porn star.