Guard turtle (french)

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Guard turtle
Monster ID 783
Locations The Outer Compound
Hit Points 140
Attack 140
Defense 126
Initiative 140
Meat None
Phylum beast
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts leg, head, shell
Drops
guard turtle shell, guard turtle collar
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
guard turtle You're fighting a guard turtle

Stella's insidious brainwashing has turned this normally-peaceful turtle into a slavering, violent beast. Not a particularly fast one, but if it catches up to you, you're in trouble.

Whoops! Looks like it just caught up to you. Sorry, I should have warned you sooner.

Hit Message(s):

It takes off its shell and wings it at you. The shell smacks into you, making you see stars. For a second, you feel like you're half as tall as you ought to be. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

It stomps a little triangular pattern into your <forehead>. Ooh! Ow! Ouch!

Aw, snap, it just snapped your <shoulder>. Eek! Argh! Ooh!

Since it's not a ninja turtle, it can't karate-kick you, so it just gnaws on your shins instead. Argh! Eek! Eek!

Critical Hit Message:

Zut alors! It is, how you say, snapping at you with its beak! Sacrebleu, quelle horreur! Ow! Oof! Ow!

Miss Message(s):

It tries to snap you, but misses, so you mock the turtle.

It tries to stomp a little triangle into your <lower back>, but wasn't programmed correctly.

It tries to roundhouse-kick you, but isn't a ninja enough turtle.

It slips off its shell to throw at you, but stops when you laugh at its nekkid turtle body.

Fumble Message:

Sacrebleu! It tried to hit you, but you had the savoir faire to dodge, thereby avoiding becoming its soup du jour. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat


Guardshell.gifYou acquire an item: guard turtle shell (x% chance)*
Spikycollar.gifYou acquire an item: guard turtle collar (X% chance)*

Occurs in The Outer Compound

Notes

References

  • Taking off its shell to hit you (and being half height afterwards) is a Super Mario Brothers reference.
  • The mentions of drawing triangles is a reference to Logo programming, specifically the Turtle graphics aspect of it.
  • Ninja turtles, 'nuff said.
  • Mr. Turtle was one of the animals spoken to in a classic Tootsie Pop commercial, which dealt with a certain amount of licking. And biting.
  • 'Mock Turtle' is a turtle soup that does not actually contain any turtle, instead substituting beef or other meat.