Gorgolok, the Infernal Seal (Inner Sanctum)
|Gorgolok, the Infernal Seal|
|Locations||Inner Sanctum (for Seal Clubbers)|
|Monster Parts||flipper, head, tail, torso|
You step into the Inner Sanctum, and are confronted by the sum total of all your nightmares: Gorgolok, the Horror Seal.
Seals in the Kingdom of Loathing are pretty vicious to begin with -- wickedly befanged, blood-drinking predators that terrorize the villages of the Frigid Northlands -- but Gorgolok is the granddaddy of them all, a foul monstrosity born of an unholy union of demon and seal that Seal Clubber parents tell their children about at night to scare the living hell out of them, which is pretty much all the entertainment that Seal Clubber parents get, as there's not much to do in the Frigid Northlands.
You briefly wonder what he's doing this far south, but you don't get the opportunity to really explore the question, because he's already going for your throat.
It hisses at you demonically, rotates its head, and vomits evil-smelling green stuff all over you. Icky. Ouch! Ooh! Ouch!
It compares you to a kiss from a rose on the grey. When you fail to get the reference, it gores you with its horns. Ow! Ouch!
It pokes you with its sharp, demonic horns. Speaking of demonic horns, ever heard any John Coltrane? Ooh! Oof! Argh! Ouch!
It produces an evil chocolate bunny of the apocalypse, which gnaws on your eye. Wow, who knew it was an easter seal, too? Ugh! Ouch! Argh! Ooh!
Gorgolok hisses a vile incantation in hell's own tongue (which sounds suspiciously like Pig Latin). An army of lesser demons appears and pokes you with hundreds of tiny pitchforks.Ugh! Ooh! Oof! Oof!
It rotates its head and projectile vomits at you, but you duck and cover.
It compares you to a kiss from a rose on the grey. Which is pretty sweet, when you think about it.
It tries to poke you with its horns, but you sidestep, waving your cape. Did I mention you have a cape?
It produces an evil chocolate bunny of the apocalypse. Wow, who knew it was an easter seal, too? Fortunately, the bunny is as tasty as it is evil.
The demon seal chants an evil incantation in the very language of hell itself (which sounds suspiciously like Pig Latin). With those tusks, though, he can't enunciate clearly, and calls forth a Rain of Pancakes. (FUMBLE!)
- Upon being defeated:
As you strike the final blow, Gorgolok howls in rage and frustration. "PUNY HUMAN! YOU NEVER DEFEAT ME!"
"Woah! You can talk?"
"I TALK GOOD! I HOOKED ON PHONICS!"
"Okay, weird, whatever. Anyway, I've already defeated you."
"I RETURN! I RETURN AND KILL YOU GOOD! I CRUNCH BONES AND DRINK BLOOD! MAKE APPETIZER FROM GIBLETS!"
And with that, he flops awkwardly out of the cave. Dammit, you forgot to ask what a seal is doing in the southern mountains. Oh well.
Hey, look -- loot!
|You gain 28-42 Meat (average: 35, stdev: 3.24)*|
|You acquire an item: Scalp of Gorgolok (100% chance)*|
|You gain 3 <substat>.|
- Once you have defeated Gorgolok, this adventure will no longer reoccur (becomes a one time adventure).
- Before the Nemesis quest revamp, the monster description read as follows:
- After being ousted from the frigid northlands by the Seal Clubbers, he has sought refuge in the Kingdom of Loathing.
- This monster cannot be copied.
- The attack where this monster "rotates its head, and vomits evil-smelling green stuff all over you" is a reference to a memorable scene from the 1973 horror film The Exorcist.
- The attack which mentions the "demonic horns" of "John Coltrane" refers to John Coltrane, an influential American jazz saxophonist.
- The expression "duck and cover" in one of the dodge texts refers to a short film presented during The Cold War that featured a turtle named Burt. The movie taught kids that if they ducked and covered their heads, they would survive a nuclear explosion.
- Producing an "evil chocolate bunny of the apocalypse" is a probable reference to the Robert Rankin book The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse. The same sobriquet is used as a band name in his earlier novel Sex and Drugs and Sausage Rolls.
- Easter Seals is an international charitable organization.
- "Kiss from a rose..." is from the song of the same name by Seal.