God Lobster

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Familiar number: 266
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God Lobster
Ancient sea horror Consents to acts as your pet. Don't mention butter.

Improves stat gains and other more mysterious things

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Ability: Has the properties of a Blood-Faced Volleyball, gives up to three free fights per day that results in familiar equipment, buffs, or experience; equipment augments or changes ability.

Throne/Bjorn: N/A - Cannot be placed in Crown of Thrones or Buddy Bjorn

Hatchling: God Lobster Egg

Familiar-Specific Equipment: lead necklace, God Lobster's Scepter, God Lobster's Ring, God Lobster's Rod, God Lobster's Robe, God Lobster's Crown

	Ultimate Cage Match	Scavenger Hunt	Obstacle Course	Hide and Seek

Mumming Trunk Abilities:

+15% Meat Drop	4-5 MP	+4 Muscle statgain	+15% Item Drop	+4 Mysticality statgain	8-10 HP	+2 Moxie statgain
					Deals damage & 10% Delevel*
*Hover for details

Can breathe underwater

Combat Messages

• Regular messages:

  Blocking enemy attacks (with the robe equipped):

  Nothing says, "don't attack me," like an ancient God Lobster staring down your foe.

  Your God Lobster interposes itself between you and your foe. Your foe are too intimidated to do anything.

• After Combat:

  Giving substats (without the ring equipped):

  Your God Lobster imparts knowledge directly in to your mind. (+X Stats)

  The God Lobster tweaks the shape of its mouth parts into a creepy smile. (+X Stats)

  Increasing Item and Meat drops (with the scepter equipped):

  Your God Lobster clacks his claws rhythmically.

  God Lobster scuttles around to the music of the spheres.

  The God Lobster deigns to dance a bit.

  Giving substats (with the ring equipped):

  Your God Lobster translates the power of your enemy into your knowledge. (+X Stats)

  The God Lobster kinda half-smiles while winking and transmitting your experience. (+X Stats)

  Restoring HP and MP (with the rod equipped):

  The God Lobster touches you and your foe each with one tentacle and transfers their failing life energy.

  You gain some hit points.

  You gain some Mana Points.

  Your God Lobster reaches out his rod and touches you.

  You gain some hit points.

  You gain some Mana Points.

  Increasing item drop (with the crown equipped):

  Your God Lobster clacks his claws rhythmically while flexing his tail repeatedly.

  God Lobster gyrates to the cellestial music of the spehers.

  The God Lobster bops back and forth on its tiny lobster legs.

• With lucky Tam O'Shanter equipped:

  <name> winks an eye at the end of a creepy stalk.

• With miniature gravy-covered maypole equipped:

  <name> begrudginly^[sic] circles the maypole.

• With wax lips equipped:
  

  <name> flashes the fake wax lips at you. He doesn't seem happy.

Arena Messages

None. This familiar has no weaknesses.

Notes

• Can breathe underwater.
• May be challenged up to 3 times per day. Winning the combat allows you to choose from a variety of rewards; either equipment, buffs, or a stat increase.
• Rewards for defeating god lobster are based on what familiar equipment is currently equipped.
• Defeating god lobster without any of its regalia gives the God Lobster's Scepter if regalia is requested as a reward. Defeating it while it is wearing any of its regalia gives the next piece if regalia is requested as a reward (e.g. if it is wearing the Scepter the reward will be the God Lobster's Ring).

Familiar Equipment	Effect	Boon (33 adventures)	Experience (cap)
(No item)	(No extra effect)	Wisdom of the God Lobster (Maximum MP +20, Regenerate 40 MP per Adventure)	+1.5*mainstat to each stat (250)
God Lobster's Scepter	slightly increase Item and Meat Drops (half-weight Fairy / Leprechaun)	Intuition of the God Lobster (+10 Stats Per Fight)	+1.65*mainstat to each stat (275)
God Lobster's Ring	act as sombrero instead of volleyball	Silence of the God Lobster (Monsters will be less attracted to you)	+1.85*mainstat to each stat (312)
God Lobster's Rod	restore HP and MP after Combat	Color of the God Lobster (Monsters will be more attracted to you)	+2.17*mainstat to each stat (362)
God Lobster's Robe	prevent monster attacks	Carapace of the God Lobster (Slight Hot Resistance (+1), Slight Cold Resistance (+1), Slight Spooky Resistance (+1), Slight Stench Resistance (+1), Slight Sleaze Resistance (+1), Damage Absorption +20, Damage Reduction: 3)	+2.62*mainstat to each stat (438)
God Lobster's Crown	increase Item Drops (full-weight Fairy)	Taste of the God Lobster (Increases Stats from Food)	+3.0*mainstat to each stat (500), Dish of Clarified Butter

References

• This familiar is likely a reference to the 1980 book A Thousand Plateaus: Capitalism and Schizophrena by Gilles Deleuze and Félix Guattari, which declares "God is a Lobster" in the chapter entitled "10,000 B.C.: The Geology of Morals (Who Does the Earth Think It Is?)"
• It may also reference DJ Soul Slinger's 1998 song "God is a Lobster," which heavily samples the 1978 single "Rock Lobster" by The B-52s.
• It is almost certainly a reference to this forum thread, which was speculating on March's Item of the Month.
• The true, actual origin of this familiar is this procedurally-generated wiki page.