Gnollish War Chef

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Gnollish War Chef
Monster ID 211
Locations The Degrassi Knoll Bakery
Hit Points 9
Attack 14
Defense 13
No-Hit 24
Initiative 60
Meat 20-28
Phylum humanoid
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
Drops
Gnollish slotted spoon, Knoll mushroom, Knoll mushroom, skewer
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Gnollish War Chef You're fighting a Gnollish War Chef

This is a Gnollish War Chef, one of the most feared soldiers in the Gnollish ranks. It's also one of the rankest soldiers in the Gnollish bunkhouses. Just ask anybody.

Hit Message(s):

He smacks you up one side and down the other with his cast-iron skillet. Ouch! Ooh!

He asaults you with both a salt shaker and his offensive odor. Your eyes water and your wounds ache. Eek! Ouch! Ooh!

Critical Hit Message:

He kicks you up a notch with his skillet. And by "up" I mean "in," by "a" I mean "the," and by "notch" I mean "<shins>, <foot>, and <skull>." It's as painful as it is convoluted, but anyway, Ooh! Ouch! Eek!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to smack you down one side and up the other, but gets confused and quits midway through.

He tries to assault you, but can't find his shaker of salt. So he decides to drink a margarita instead.

Fumble Message:

He tries to hit you with a spoon, but his spoon is too big, and he teeters over backwards. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 20-28 Meat
Slotspoon.gifYou acquire an item: Gnollish slotted spoon (27.9% chance)*
Bmushroom.gifYou acquire an item: Knoll mushroom (49.7% chance)*
Bmushroom.gifYou acquire an item: Knoll mushroom (49.7% chance)*
Sharpstick.gifYou acquire an item: skewer (50.6% chance)*
You gain 2-5 <substat>.

Occurs at The Degrassi Knoll Bakery.

History

References

  • One of the miss messages is a reference to the song "Margaritaville", by Jimmy Buffett: "Wastin' away again in Margaritaville/Searching for my lost shaker of salt"
  • The fumble message is a reference to "Rejected" by Don Hertzfeldt, in which a stick figure holding a giant spoon says,"My spoon is too big" several times.
  • The critical hit message refers to one of Emeril Lagasse's catch phrase, "kick it up a notch", which Emeril exclaims while cooking.