The gift-a-pult allows various gift items to be used in combat. Each item's combat message is preceded with "You load the <item> into the gift-a-pult and pull the trigger."
|
Your opponent starts beating the crap out of it, not stopping until <it> hurts <its> self for X damage in the process.
|
|
A snake leaps out of another dimension at the badger, sees that it's stuffed, then attacks him for 20 damage instead.
|
|
It hits your opponent right in their eye. Yes, even if he doesn't have eyes you can see. It then dances, scouring said eye for 25 damage.
|
|
It flooms through the atomosphair, stritting him for a frumious 106 damage.
|
|
An angry adventurer swings a seal clubbing club at it but misses, hitting your opponent for 44 damage.
|
|
It bonks against him for an adorable 2 damage.
|
|
A flock of birds suddenly appears because it's near, and pecks your opponent for 122 damage.
|
|
It exhales a puff of smoke at your opponent, and he gets choked up for 122 damage.
|
|
It bonks against him for an adorable 23 damage.
|
|
The club bounces ineffectually off your opponent, only dealing 1 damage.
|
|
It pecks him with its little felt beak, somehow doing 23 damage.
|
|
A giant stuffed stick figure holding a martini chases after the sword, trampling your opponent for X damage.
|
|
Turns out each of those fluffy arms conceals a poisonous barb, which do an aggregate 10 damage. Apparently, there aren't any consumer watchdog groups in Loathing.
|
|
It pogos through the air like a yoyo, and lands on him for 109 damage.
|
|
It catches fire in mid-air, and burns him for 25 damage, with fire that is mystical and therefore not hot.
|
|
A chunk of frozen gravy falls out of it and hits him for 23 damage.
|
|
It coughs up some stuffing and re-stuffs itself with his innards, for 24 damage.
|
|
A horde of collectors stampedes after it, thinking it's the real thing, and tramples him for 25 damage.
|
|
It mutters a stream of bizarre nonsense as it smacks <it> for ~ 11936 damage.
|
|
The key lands on your opponent and somehow unlocks <its> potential to take X damage.
|
|
It switches its phasers from 'hug' to 'hit for 23 damage,' and fires a shot.
|
|
A giant stuffed stick figure holding a sword chases after the martini, trampling your opponent for X damage.
|
|
A noob leaps up to catch the meat, and lands on <it> for X damage.
|
|
It flays your opponent'ss' mind for 25 damage.
|
|
A hippy throws a bucket of paint at it (bucket and all), and misses, hitting your opponent for 42 damage.
|
|
It pulls out a toy kneecapping stick and hits him for 2459 damage.
|
|
It slices through your opponent for X damage. Woah, turns out the monocle had a razor-sharp edge. Hardcore, man.
|
|
It disappears in midair, and your opponent falls to the ground, sustaining X damage. Mysteeeerious.
|
|
It bonks against him for a timely 125 damage.
|
|
It porpoisefully bonks its nose against him for 106 damage.
|
|
It bites him for 5421 damage, saving him from the scourge of toy scurvy in the process.
|
|
It looks enough like a real scary death orb that your opponent freaks out, runs blindly away, and smacks a wall for 22 damage.
|
|
It hits on him, then straight up hits him for 24 damage.
|
|
It delivers a letter to your opponent which reads, "you have just taken 23 damage."
|
|
It lands near your opponent, and ignores him so hard that it does 24 damage.
|
|
It stabs him both vigorously and ineffectually. Fortunately, your opponent is allergic to felt, so he still takes 239 damage.
|
|
The stench coming off of it causes a buzzard to drop out of the sky and land on him for 25 damage.
|
|
It butles your opponent for X damage.
|
|
It lodges in one of your opponent's windpipe for a very posh X damage.
|
|
It opens in mid-air and dumps its contents on your opponent. Looks like it was full of X damage.
|
|
It beats the stuffing out of your opponent for 23 damage.
|
|
It flaps its flippers against <it>, and <it> looks surprised that the walrus isn't just a head, as pictured. The flippers do X damage, by the way, goo goo ga joob.
|
|
The yeti attacks with all the felt-based rage it can muster, doing 1036 damage.
|
|
A nearby cat sees it go flying by and leaps after it, landing on your opponent and scratching for 21 damage.
|
|
It gnaws on him with its little felt teeth, for 53 damage.
|