Gift-a-pult Messages (A-E)

The gift-a-pult allows various gift items to be used in combat. Each item's combat message is preceded with "You load the <item> into the gift-a-pult and pull the trigger."

A

• all-purpose flower:

	Apparently, one of the flower's purposes is "laying the smack down to the tune of 206 damage."

• Amulet of Yendor:

	The sharp points of its hash-marks pierce <it> for 10-12 damage.

• angel-food cake:

	Nothing's more delicious than an angel-food cake, and nothing does 2212 damage like a fallen-angel cake.

• anniversary balloon:

	A point of the diamond pierces him, then the balloon pops, for an impressive 54 damage. I guess diamonds aren't forever, after all.

• apathetic lizardman doll:

	It kind of bops up against him and accidentally strangles him with its string for 588 damage. No biggie.

• arrow'd heart balloon:

	The balloon misses him, but the arrow hits for 23589 damage.

B

• babycakes:

	The cakes land on him, making him cry like a baby and doing 216 damage.

• bag of airline peanuts:

	A snake pops out of it (a snake! It's a snake!) and surprises him for 10-12 damage.

• beautiful soup:

	The soup is even more beautiful as it flies through the air, and even more beautiful than that as it deals X damage.

• bejeweled cufflinks:

	Your opponent catches them and spends an hour trying to rearrange the gems, somehow taking 40-50 damage in the process.

• better Than Cuddling Cake:

	It certainly does more damage to your opponent than cuddling would have done. Since cuddling only does emotional damage, I'd say it did about 100-125 points more.

• birthday party jellybean cheesecake:

	The cheesecake crashes into the ground, and the resultant explosion of birds, snakes, and aeroplanes does 12074 damage.

• black-and-blue light:

	It glows at your opponent, making <it> think <it's> covered in bruises. <It> is so convinced that <it> actually takes 10-12 damage.

• black candy heart:

	It proves to be a brave heart by choking your opponent for 10-12 damage. Freedom!

• black lotus:

	<It> taps it for X damage, and you cut your foe some slack while <it's> getting its nerve back.

• blended frozen swill with a fly in it:

	The fly takes flight from the drink and in midair is eaten by a spider, which is eaten by a bird, which is eaten by a cat, which is eaten by a dog, which is eaten by a cow, which squashes <it> for 10-12 damage.

• blue plasma ball:

	It shatters against your opponent and the lightning escapes, shocking <it> for 10-12 damage.

• blue velvet cake:

	The cake shatters, covering him for 617 suave damage.

• bouquet of circular saw blades:

	The saw blades do what saw blades were born to do, cutting him for 527 damage.

• boxing-glove-in-a-box:

	The box hurtles through the air toward your opponent. Just before impact, the boxing glove pops out, punching <it> for X damage.

C

• calle de miel with a fly in it:

	The fly takes flight from the drink and in midair is eaten by a spider, which is eaten by a bird, which is eaten by a cat, which is eaten by a dog, which is eaten by a cow, which squashes <it> for X damage.

• cheap studded belt:

	A wannabe goth punk spots it flying through the air and leaps for it, stomping your opponent with his pleather thigh-high boots for 10-12 damage.

• chocolate-covered diamond-studded roses:

	It bonks him for 2021 points' worth of bad romance damage (ra ra ooh la la).

• clown hammer:

	There's a flurry of squeaking noises, X damage, and then ominous silence.

• club necklace:

	The chain lands around his neck, and the cheap metal gives him a rash for 23 damage. Too bad your opponent wasn't another adventurer.

• congratulatory cake:

	Congratulations! You just hit him for 1221 damage with a celebratory cake!

• Crimbo Candy Cookbook:

	The book bonks off of <it>, doing a sweet 1109 damage.

• cymbal syrup:

	It spills out over your opponent, and the ensuing X damage is cymbally irresistible. *rimshot*

D

• daisy:

	The pot smashes into him. He's half crazy, all for the love of 10 damage.

• deadly nightshade:

	He accidentally eats one of the leaves, and suffers 5330 poison damage.

• defective skull:

	It says, "I deduce that I will survive this impact, and that it will do X damage." Looks like he was half right.

• designer handbag:

	A nearby fashionista leaps up to catch it and lands on your opponent, stomping <it> with a criminally expensive spiked heel for X damage.

• devil's-food cake:

	Your devils-food cake does hella damage. 5098 damage, to be precise.

• diamond necklace:

	The chain lands around his neck, and the cheap metal gives him a rash for 23 damage. But it was totally the best rash, and the most damage, ever.

• double daisy:

	The double-sized flower pot smashes into him before he can put up his dukes, doing 23384 damage.

E

• eggman noodles:

	They hit your opponent for 119 damage. Goo goo goo joob!

• encoder ring:

	Vg uvgf sbe 10-12 qnzntr.

• exotic orchid:

	Turns out it was a wild orchid, and bites him for 513 damage, in a soft-focus, smutty kind of way.

• explosion-flavored chewing gum:

	It explodes in <its> mouth, or something similar to a mouth, and does X damage.

Notes

• The encoder ring message decodes to:

It hits for 10-12 damage.

Gift-a-pult Combat Messages
A-E	F-N	O-Z	stuffed