Giant squid

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Giant squid
Monster ID 763
Locations The Marinara Trench
Hit Points 800
Attack 500
Defense 405
No-Hit 510
Initiative 75
Meat 240-360
Phylum fish
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, tail
Drops
ink bladder, inky squid sauce
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
giant squid You're fighting a giant squid

This is a giant squid. While your time spent talking to sailors might make you scared of these things, consider the facts -- a normal squid is only like a foot long. So a giant squid, like this one, is only about the size of a dachshund. Which isn't actually all that scary. Show me one the size of a Datsun, and I'll show you something scary.

Hit Message(s):

It leaves a big welt on your neck with one of its suckers, making you feel like a real chump. Argh! Oof! Oof! Oof! Ooh! Oof! Oof! Oof! Argh!

It garottes you with a slimy tentacle. Ooh! Oof! Oof! Eek! Ouch! Argh! Ooh! Ow! Ow!

It bites you on the <face> with its chitinous beak. Ugh! Oof! Ouch! Ouch! Oof! Oof! Argh! Ow! Oof!

Critical Hit Message:

It hits you in the <throat> with one tentacle, smacks your <arse> with two others, clobbers you in the <face> with two more, and beats the hell out of your <giblets> with the remaining... three? Five? To be honest, I kinda lost count. Ugh! Argh! Argh! Ow! Oof! Ugh! Ow! Oof! Oof!

Miss Message(s):

It tries to attach one of its suckers to your <calf>, but no way are you falling for that one again.

It tries to bite you with its beak, man, but you always liked Bill Nye better.

It tries to hit you with one of its tentacles, but midway through the attack it forgets which one it was using.

Fumble Message:

It blasts a cloud of thick black ink into the water, and then gets lost in it. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 240-360 Meat (average: 300, stdev: 24.9)*
Bladder.gifYou acquire an item: ink bladder (30% chance)*
Soupbowl.gifYou acquire an item: inky squid sauce (50% chance)*

Occurs at The Marinara Trench.

References

  • The Critical Hit Message is a jab towards some people confusing octopuses, which have 8 arms, with squid, which have 8 arms and 2 tentacles. (The monster's image also displays only 6 arms and 2 tentacles, even though it's a squid)
  • The second Miss Message refers to two educational children's television shows, Beakman's World and Bill Nye the Science Guy, which both ran at about the same time and covered similar topics.
  • The giant squid being described as the size of a dachshund is a reference to that breed being called a wiener dog due to its shape, while the normal squid is a "foot long," a variety of hot dog.