Georgepaul, the Balldodger

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Georgepaul, the Balldodger
Monster ID 879
Locations Mer-kin Colosseum
Hit Points 1400
Attack 1200
Defense 1150
Initiative 100
Meat 80-120
Phylum mer-kin
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts arm, fin, head, torso
Drops
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Georgepaul, the Balldodger You're fighting Georgepaul, the Balldodger

The crowd in the Colosseum goes berserk (well, slightly more berserk than a crowd of Mer-kin always is[sic] as the announcer's voice booms forth from the conches.

"Round 13!" he screams. "Our newcomer squares off against Georgepaul, master of the dodgeball!"

You consider your opponent. This gladiator has reached the apogee of Mer-kin physical fitness. He's been through all the steps of dodgeball training: he started throwing and dodging wrenches, then slowly worked his way up to dodgeballs. We're talking several training montages to a plethora of synthesizer-pounding arena rock songs. He will have his vengeance, in this life or the next, and apparently he's going to take it out of[sic]? your ass.

Are you sure you want to go through with this?

Hit Message(s):

He bounces the dodgeball off of your <head> and into your <leg>. Which part of "dodge" don't you understand?

He rams you with the dodgeball. Yipes.

He hurls the dodgeball at your gut, hitting hard enough to make you do some hurling of your own.

He beans you in the <ankle> with the dodgeball. It's a dodgy attack, but effective.

He whips the dodgeball at you. You fail to ghost ride the whip, and instead the dodgeball crushes your <calf>.

He throws the dodgeball at you, smacking a spike right into your <calf>.

Critical Hit Message:

not known

Miss Message(s):

He throws the dodgeball at you, but you're not unclear on the whole "dodge" part.

He hucks the dodgeball at you, but it catches a weird cross-current and barrels into the stands, bruising a few spectators.

Fumble Message:

not known


After Combat

Upon winning:

Victorious, you raise your arms over your head and face the howling crowd of Mer-kin. Some of them throw rotting fish guts at you, and you can't tell whether it's a compliment or an insult.

Meat.gifYou gain some Meat

Occurs in The Mer-kin Colosseum

Notes

  • This monster cannot be copied.

References

  • The monster's name is an amalgamation of George and Paul, two of the Beatles.
  • The wrench dodging in the description refers to Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story and the quote, "If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball."
  • The quote "He will have his vengeance, in this life or the next" is a reference to the movie Gladiator, where Russell Crowe as Maximus Decimus Meridius addresses the emperor with that quote before fighting in the Colosseum.