Generic Teen Comedy Snowboarding Adventure

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Generic Teen Comedy Snowboarding Adventure
Generic Teen Comedy Snowboarding Adventure

While looking for the ski-lift back to the top of the slope, you come across a large group of teenagers milling around and chatting excitedly. One of them is standing off to the side with a snowboard under his arm, looking glum. You ask him what's up.

"See that fraternity orc over there?" he says. "He's my bitter arch-rival. Somehow, I got talked into entering a snowboarding contest against him, even though he's the three-year state snowboarding champion, and I've never ridden one of these things before in my life. And if I lose, I'll never win the heart of the girl I love."

"Tough break," you nod, sympathetically.

Give him a pep-talk

"Listen, kid. That frat orc isn't your rival, this mountain is. And that girl isn't the love of your life, this mountain is. If you want to win this contest, you've got to look this mountain straight in the eye, grab it by the throat, and show it who's the boss!"

He looks at you, puzzled. "That doesn't make any sense whatsoever."

"Who's the boss?"

"Look, I..."

"Who's the boss?"

"Tony Da-"


"I am! I am!"

"Damn right you are! Now get up there and prove it! Prove it to your rival, your girl, and your mountain!"

The kid runs for the ski-lift yelling triumphantly, and knocks himself out on one of the support stanchions. After they've carried him away on a stretcher, you find his mittens on the ground and pocket them.

Mittens.gifYou acquire an item: eXtreme mittens

Give him some boarding tips

"Don't worry, kid, this slope is easy. Just do some simple tricks at first to build up power, and then as you pass that big tree, jump up, grind the branches, and grab the powerup. Then you can do an übertrick."

"A what?"

"You know, like breakdancing on the board in mid-air, or spinning around upside-down while hopping on one foot, or something."

"I don't think that's actually poss..."

"Trust me, kid, it's simple. You'll knock 'em dead."

Unfortunately, he stumbles on his first jump, and rolls down the slope, collecting snow and speed as he goes. You dive out of the way as the giant snowball wipes out the crowd.

"Poor kid," you think as you dig a pair of snowboarding pants out of the wreckage. "If only he hadn't missed the powerup."

Snowpants.gifYou acquire an item: snowboarder pants

Offer to help him cheat

"Here's an idea, kid," you say. "You want to take the easy way out?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, cross my palm with meat, and I'll turn your rival into a frog. Or set him on fire -- your choice."

The kid considers for a moment, and then pulls out his wallet. "How much for both?"

Meat.gifYou gain 200 Meat.

Occurs at The eXtreme Slope.


  • In the movie Better Off Dead, a parody of generic teen comedies, John Cusack's character enters a skiing competition with a mean jock who has appropriated his girlfriend.
  • The pep talk refers to the actor Tony Danza, and his TV show, Who's the Boss?
  • The "übertrick" is a reference to the game SSX Tricky as well as multiple other game in the series where the snowboarders could breakdance on the board in mid-air or spin around upside-down while hopping on one foot.
Slope.gif The eXtreme Slope Choice Adventures
Generic Teen Comedy Snowboarding Adventure   Saint Beernard   Yeti Nother Hippy
Give him a pep-talk eXtreme mittens Help the Heroic dog snowboarder pants Help the Hippy eXtreme mittens
Give him some boarding tips snowboarder pants Flee in terror eXtreme scarf Let irony take its course eXtreme scarf
Offer to help him cheat 200 Meat Ask for some beer, first 200 Meat Negotiate his release 200 Meat