General Assembly Module

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General Assembly Module
General Assembly Module

This is a sinister-looking electronic widget with the words "General Assembly Module" on it, as well as a big red button.

Type: usable
Cannot be traded or discarded

(In-game plural: General Assembly Modules)
View metadata
Item number: 3075
Description ID: 268856504
View in-game: view

Obtained From

Obsoleted Areas/Methods
A Sinister Dodecahedron
A Tree as Lovely as a Poem
It Was All a Dream
Modular, Dude

When Used

  • Without materials needed:
Gam.gif
You set the General Assembly Module on the ground and hit the big red button on the front. You are rewarded with a satisfying *BEEP* and the melodious sound of an androgynous robot voice tersely stating, "GENERAL ASSEMBLY MODULE ACTIVATED. HO HO HO. MERRY CRIMBO, LITTLE GIRLBOTS AND LITTLE BOYBOTS. HOLIDAY INVENTORY SPIDER SEARCH INITIATED." Predictably, several metallic pseudopods emerge from the General Assembly Module and rifle through your inventory in a way that you're sure to tell your therapist about later.

The General Assembly Module emits a dissatisfied series of tones, and announces "INSUFFICIENT RESOURCES LOCATED TO DISPENSE CRIMBO CHEER. PLEASE LOCATE A VITAL APPARATUS VENT AND REQUISITION APPROPRIATE MATERIALS."

Gam.gif
You set the General Assembly Module on the ground and hit the big red button on the front. You are rewarded with a satisfying *BEEP* and the melodious sound of an androgynous robot voice tersely stating, "GENERAL ASSEMBLY MODULE ACTIVATED. HO HO HO. MERRY CRIMBO, LITTLE GIRLBOTS AND LITTLE BOYBOTS. HOLIDAY INVENTORY SPIDER SEARCH INITIATED." Predictably, several metallic pseudopods emerge from the General Assembly Module and rifle through your inventory in a way that you're sure to tell your therapist about later.

The General Assembly Module emits an affirming series of tones, and announces "SUFFICIENT RESOURCES LOCATED TO DISPENSE CRIMBO CHEER. INITIATING ASSEMBLY AND ASSIMILATION SUBROUTINE." You breathe a heavy sigh of relief as the pseudopods emerge from your inventory, carrying the laser cannon, laser targeting chip, and the set of Unobtainium straps that you acquired earlier from the Sinister Dodecahedron. After a few moments of laborious assembly, the module deposits its creation unceremoniously at your feet and announces "CONSTRUCTION COMPLETED. ENJOY YOUR PRESENTS, FLESHLING."

Crimborggun.gifYou acquire an item: C.B.F.G.

After completing its task, the General Assembly Module falls silent, no longer responding to your button presses, pokes, prods, kicks, or repeated conflagrations. Stupid cheap General Assembly Module.

Gam.gif
You set the General Assembly Module on the ground and hit the big red button on the front. You are rewarded with a satisfying *BEEP* and the melodious sound of an androgynous robot voice tersely stating, "GENERAL ASSEMBLY MODULE ACTIVATED. HO HO HO. MERRY CRIMBO, LITTLE GIRLBOTS AND LITTLE BOYBOTS. HOLIDAY INVENTORY SPIDER SEARCH INITIATED." Predictably, several metallic pseudopods emerge from the General Assembly Module and rifle through your inventory in a way that you're sure to tell your therapist about later.

The General Assembly Module emits an affirming series of tones, and announces "SUFFICIENT RESOURCES LOCATED TO DISPENSE CRIMBO CHEER. INITIATING ASSEMBLY AND ASSIMILATION SUBROUTINE." You breathe a heavy sigh of relief as the pseudopods emerge from your inventory, carrying the polymorphic fastening apparatus, hi-density nylocite leg armor, and the silicon-infused gluteal shield that you acquired earlier from the Sinister Dodecahedron. After a few moments of laborious assembly, the module deposits its creation unceremoniously at your feet and announces "CONSTRUCTION COMPLETED. ENJOY YOUR PRESENTS, FLESHLING."

Crimborgpants.gifYou acquire an item: biomechanical crimborg leg armor

After completing its task, the General Assembly Module falls silent, no longer responding to your button presses, pokes, prods, kicks, or repeated conflagrations. Stupid cheap General Assembly Module.

Gam.gif
You set the General Assembly Module on the ground and hit the big red button on the front. You are rewarded with a satisfying *BEEP* and the melodious sound of an androgynous robot voice tersely stating, "GENERAL ASSEMBLY MODULE ACTIVATED. HO HO HO. MERRY CRIMBO, LITTLE GIRLBOTS AND LITTLE BOYBOTS. HOLIDAY INVENTORY SPIDER SEARCH INITIATED." Predictably, several metallic pseudopods emerge from the General Assembly Module and rifle through your inventory in a way that you're sure to tell your therapist about later.

The General Assembly Module emits an affirming series of tones, and announces "SUFFICIENT RESOURCES LOCATED TO DISPENSE CRIMBO CHEER. INITIATING ASSEMBLY AND ASSIMILATION SUBROUTINE." You breathe a heavy sigh of relief as the pseudopods emerge from your inventory, carrying the carbonite visor, plexifoam chin strap, and the kevlateflocite helmet that you acquired earlier from the Sinister Dodecahedron. After a few moments of laborious assembly, the module deposits its creation unceremoniously at your feet and announces "CONSTRUCTION COMPLETED. ENJOY YOUR PRESENTS, FLESHLING."

Crimborghelm.gifYou acquire an item: biomechanical crimborg helmet

After completing its task, the General Assembly Module falls silent, no longer responding to your button presses, pokes, prods, kicks, or repeated conflagrations. Stupid cheap General Assembly Module.

Notes

  • Is consumed after successfully constructing an item.
  • Only one item will be made per use. If sufficient parts are around to make multiple items, they get made in this order: helmet, C.B.F.G., then leg armor.

References

  • "Vital Apparatus Vent" refers to the tubes in the video game Portal that dispense Weighted Storage Cubes (including the famous Weighted Companion Cube).
  • The metallic pseudopods refer to web crawlers, a.k.a. spiders, which are automated software agents that gather information from web pages. These are frequently used by search engines.

Collection

TOP 10 General Assembly Module collections
1. Marshall - 9 | 2. Chineselegolas - 3 | 3. Mariani - 3 | 4. Pantsless - 3 | 5. tudnut - 3
6. Yarple - 3 | 7. CaveCrawl - 3 | 8. Damuckle - 3 | 9. mage_kane - 3 | 10. jelloGyrl - 3
Collection data courtesy of ePeterso2 and Jicken Wings