Gelatinous Noob is the Spring 2017 special challenge path, introduced on February 15, 2017. This path adds variant rules and restrictions to an ascension run. Its description in The Bureau of Reincarnation reads "You're a gelatinous cube with aspirations of humanity. Hungrily absorb items to gain power!"
- You cannot eat, drink, or consume spleen items normally:
- You're not sure why humans are always putting things in their mouths.
- Technically not true; the restriction is that the maximum meter value is 0 for hunger and spleen items, while it is -1 for the drunkenness meter. However, the effect is identical.
- Skill-granting items cannot be used:
- Nah, you'd just get the pages all sticky.
- Wearing equipment provides the attack/defense power, but gives no bonuses from regular enchantments.
- This includes familiar equipment, Valhalla rewards, rollover adventures.
- Unique and unusual enchantments with specially coded effects will generally still work. For example, items like the KoL Con 13 snowglobe that give post-combat drops will activate. Combat skills granted by equipment also remain available, as do outfit bonuses. Choice adventure and quest interactions involving equipment remain unaltered.
- You cannot adventure in The Sea. Attempting to talk to An Old Man gives the following message:
- That shack you saw on the main map was just a picture of a shack drawn on the ground.
- Your adventure begins with Welcome to the Kingdom, Gelatinous Noob.
- The Council of Loathing has different text reflecting your new class.
- Starting items are a dirty bottlecap, discarded button and an interesting clod of dirt.
- Upon freeing King Ralph you finally become human and choose one of the standard classes. If you choose a Muscle-based or a Mysticality-based class, your Moxie will switch with your new class's main stat.
Gelatinous Noob is a moxie class and has the ability to pickpocket. They also begin with a few active skills:
- Gelatinous Reconstruction (3 MP) - Removes Beaten Up and restores some HP
- Gelatinous Punch (5 MP)
- Gelatinous Headbutt (15 MP)
- Gelatinous Kick (30 MP)
As with all class-based paths, you have no access to your permanent skills, nor to guilds.
You can absorb any items that are PvP stealable, as well as Gift Items and the three starting items. Items that cannot be traded, or which cannot be discarded may not be absorbed.
- Your absorption organ has a capacity of
2+levelitems per day, to a maximum of 15 absorptions at level 13.
- On rollover, your absorption organ is emptied. Maximum absorption is unchanged.
Absorbing equipment grants you the enchantment bonuses of that equipment, until rollover.
- Familiar equipment is considered a non-equipment item for this purpose.
- Only standardized enchantments can be absorbed, while unique and unusual enchantments (which still work when the item is equipped) generally can not be absorbed.
- You can absorb multiple instances of the same item for stacking bonuses.
Absorbing other items
When absorbing non-equipment items, instead of providing whatever effect they would normally provide, grants Gelatinous Noob-specific passive skills. These skills persist through the rest of the ascension, until you free the King and stop being a Gelatinous Noob.
- This means consumables with effects will not grant their effects, consumables that drop items will fail to drop those items, and anything else (such as Drippy Juice for access to The Drip) will also not be conferred.
- The skill granted is the skill id specified by the item's descid % 125 + 23001. See Ezandora's super helpful list of Noob skills for a list.
- Absorbing an item that grants a skill you don't have gives a base of 0 adventures and 0 stats, while absorbing an item that grants a skill you already have gives a base of 5 adventures and 50 stats. Both are modified by skills that increase gains from absorption.
- Six items, obtained from the Robortender, give combat frequency modifying skills instead:
You gain 1 skill point for each normal (softcore) Gelatinous Noob ascension completed and 2 points for each hardcore Gelatinous Noob ascension completed, up to a maximum of 20 points. At the start of subsequent Gelatinous Noob runs, you can spend these points to acquire skills from the list of skills you acquired by absorbing items in previous runs.
Skill MatrixClick expand/collapse on the right to show/hide the whole giant skill table.
- It's best to take the skills that give more adventures per absorb as early as possible, to best take advantage of it. A good start is potted cactus -> dirty bottlecap -> hermit permit -> baconstone -> LOV Enamorang.
- The core set of skills to speed up your run are stats per fight, item drops, meat drops and pickpocket chance. If you're not getting the jump to pickpocket, consider picking up some +init, which is helpful in a couple of zones anyways. If you're dying to monsters, pick up +moxie or +100% HP. Consider "perming" the following list of skills to ease advancement:
- Since the initial combat skills all do physical damage, you will need some elemental bonus damage for physical-resistant monsters (e.g. at A-boo Peak). Either pick up one of the passive elemental damage skills or absorb equipment with a bonus to gain that bonus until rollover, if you cannot Summon Love Stinkbug.
- Survivability is also enhanced by wearing high power hats and pants, as these have higher DA. Equipment found in The Armory and Leggery may be unenchanted, but is still good for their Damage Absorption values. Bankruptcy barrel is a decent starting pants with 100 DA, no equip requirement, and basically no cost real or opportunity because the other two items would be even less useful.
- Remember that not every absorb needs to be for a new skill -- absorbing an item for which you already have the skill gives 5 extra adventures over a new one, which can help make daycount.
- Although you cannot benefit from normal enchantments, hardcoded items with nonstandard enchantments or effects that still apply:
- The gravy boat will reduce evil.
- You still get stats and items from the KoL Con 13 snowglobe.
- Cowboy Kick is still granted by your cowboy boots, and is supplemented by appropriate spurs and/or skins. Rotting cowskin is very good for being an extra source of deleveling.
- You can still bust ghosts with the protonic accelerator pack, and take blobs of their energy.
- You can still get the item drops from the Floundry equipment, if not the effects themselves. As a ranged weapon, the bass clarinet is a decent choice. The free white pixels are obviously a plus.
- Loadstone can still attract extra fasteners in The Smut Orc Logging Camp.
- Blackberry galoshes still increases the exploration rate of The Black Forest.
- Antique machete still makes dense liana encounters free.
- Attorney's badge will block attacks.
- UV-resistant compass still increases the exploration rate of the The Arid, Extra-Dry Desert.
- Outfit effects apply.
- If you have the Intergnat, you can get one yellow ray per day by buying viral videos.
- There are not many possibilities for -combat chance: Rational Thought, shoe gum (once per day), cuppa Obscuri tea (once per day) and worst candy, if you can get it from KoL Con 13 snowglobe. This is somewhat mitigated by the Robortender drops, although quest planning is still advised.
- There are not as many sources of ML as in other paths. For leveling, this can be made up for by buying the +stats per fight skills. For the areas where you need +ML, consider the following sources: perfume of prejudice (5), detuned radio (10), Internate Debatable (10), WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA (20), Greek fire (25), monsters.enq (25), cuppa Mediocri tea (30), Emotional Vaccine (30). You can also absorb equipment to push you over a threshold.
- While you can't use Transcendent Olfaction, there are still many other ways of fighting the monsters you want: Digitize, Duplicate, LOV Enamorang, the Time-Spinner, alpine watercolor set, print screen button and Nosy Nose.
- As with every path with wanderers (Digitized or enamorang'd), you can save turns by fighting wanderers in areas with delay(), as all fought monsters, even free wanderers, burn it. Consider Digitizing many Witchess Rooks, as Greek fire is the only useful Witchess drop for blobventurers, and grants a generous amount of bonus substats.
- Since you can't eat pies, remember to do the Daily Dungeon early and often (enough).
- If this is your first run as the Gelatinous Noob, opening the letter from King Ralph XI unlocks a new class tattoo. There is also a sparkly tattoo available upon completion of a hardcore run as a Gelatinous Noob.
- Finishing a Gelatinous Noob run that began while it was still the current special challenge path -- that is, between February 15th, 2017, and May 14th, 2017 -- gave players 100 (in Hardcore) or 50 (in Normal) extra karma points the next time they visited Valhalla.
- Players will receive a Thwaitgold amoeba statuette upon defeating the Naughty Sorceress (3).
- Learning all of the passive Gelatinous Noob skills entitles you to a trophy. (The six active skills that affect Combat Frequency are not required.)
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