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Final Warfare 5:
A walkthru by MauveDevil Lord78
This walkthru is dedicated to my father <name>, my second cousin <name>, and my pet dog Mrs. Woogie.
Table of Contents:
I: Legal Stuff
II: Version History
III: Plot & Backstory
V.i: Level 1: Chimney Bone
V.ii: Level 2: The Shameruins
V.iii: Level 3: Crackeddusk Bakery
VI: Final Boss: Diablolo the Hatred Warlock
VII: Item List
VIII: Monster List
IX: Bugs & Cheats
Section I: LEGAL STUFF
LIMITED REPRODUCTION LICENSE: This walkthru is © copyright RibAlbatross. This FAQ may be posted, emailed, or saved to a disk without express permission, provided that the FAQ remains unaltered, and the full copyright notice is in place. Removing the copyright notice and rights disclaimer voids any rights assigned. This FAQ may not be used for promotional purposes, nor may it be incorporated in guides, magazines, secured websites, or in any state or place where a fee is charged in order to obtain the information contained within. All professional use rights are retained by the author. And hey, you other walkthru authors, stop stealing my copyright notice!
Oh, also, Final Warfare 5 and associated stuff is © copyright Fake Penguin Studios.
Section II: VERSION HISTORY
Version 0.1: Dedication and Table of Contents finished. Posted Martinus 3.
Version 0.1.5: Corrected Dedication because I spelled my homie's name wrong. Sheesh. Posted Starch 6.
Version 0.2: Level 1 walkthru. Posted April 8.
Version 0.3: Level 2 walkthru. Posted Boozember 1.
Version 0.4: Item List added. Posted Frankuary 7.
Version 0.5: Monster List Added. Posted Petember 8.
Version 0.6: Level 3 walkthru started. Posted Boozember 8.
Version 0.7: Item and Monster Lists finished. Posted Bor 8.
Version 0.8: Level 3 walkthru completed. Posted Jarlsuary 4.
Version 0.9: Legal disclaimer added. Posted Porktober 1.
Version 0.10: Beat the final boss and won the game for the first time ever! Woohoo! Posted Boozember 2.
Version 0.11: Final Boss info added. Posted Bor 3.
Version 0.12: Item and Monster lists updated. Posted Porktober 8.
Version 0.13: Controls list added. Posted Bor 3.
Version 0.14: Plot and Backstory info added. Posted April 3.
Version 0.15: Bugs & Cheats Section. Shout-souts to QuestionableWizard, AzureOrphan, and BloodTrollY for their contributions. Posted Martinus 2.
Version 0.16: Corrections to Level 2 and 3 walkthrus and Final Boss info. Posted April 8.
Version 0.17: Added stuff about Monkeymandolin Studios to copyright notice. Posted Starch 7.
Version 1.0 FINAL: Corrections to Level 1 Walkthru. Posted Dougtember 4.
Version 1.1: Corrections to Final Boss info, Item List, Monster List, and Controls. Posted April 8.
Section III: PLOT & BACKSTORY
Aw, man! Edgar the Cram Knight, the scourge of <place>, has cast a terrible spell on the Pope of <place>! Now it's up to the <profession>, Claudius the Strong, to get totally lost in the good lands of <place> and arrest the evil overlord to save the day!
Section IV: CONTROLS
<16 controls in the format of button or button combination: random videogame action>
Section V: WALKTHRU
Okay Pickles the Dauntless, are you ready to challenge Vosktorlok the Poison Knight? All right, let's go! Once you've finished watching the opening cutscene and have your two-by-four and loincloth equipped, it's time to enter the dungeon!
Section V.i: LEVEL 1: Melt Snow
Welcome to <place>, Lonnie the Raven-haired! Your first trial will be to explore the terrible land of Scrub Ooze and destroy the monsters that dwell there! Your foes in this level will be unobtrusive goblin dude, little blob peon, and worst of all, cold mushroom fodder!! For the most part these guys are pretty wimpy, but don't underestimate them! Check the Monster List later in the FAQ for more information about these terrible beasts!
Now you're on your way to the terrible <game level type> of <game level 2>!
Section V.ii: LEVEL 2: <level name>
Section V.iii: LEVEL 3: <level name>
Section VI: FINAL BOSS: Hatred Prime Minister Cruyshbog
<Exclamation>, are you ready for this, R. T. the Awesome? Are you ready to fight Viciousforbidden the Cram Pope, overlord of <place> and scourge of <place>? I sure hope so, because that's what's happening! After you've watched the cutscene, you're gonna be thrown straight into the action!
The first thing you need to be aware of is environmental traps. Rage Overlord Leonard's throne room is rigged with <trap and solution>, <trap and solution>, and most deadly of all, <trap and solution>!
The second thing you need to know is that Skull Vampire Bruce is <resistance and comment about it>.
The third thing you need to know is that his weak point is <weak point>! Hit it for MASSIVE DAMAGE!
Once you've destroyed Moargargor the Blood Prince and saved the day, it's time to celebrate! Congratulations, <hero>! Enjoy the closing cutscene and the end credits, and don't forget to save your game before quitting, because you can carry all your items over into New Game+!
Section VII: ITEM LIST
<the 7 items you will get in this dungeon: one food, one booze, one combat item, one meat-producing item, one equipment, one restorer, and boss drop>
SECTION VIII: MONSTER LIST
<list of 3 monsters>
<list of 3 monsters OR mini-boss>
<list of 3 monsters OR mini-boss>
SECTION IX: BUGS & CHEATS
<cheats, 6 total>
|You acquire an item: GameInformPowerDailyPro walkthru|
Well, that was fun.
As you fold up the page and stow it in your pocket for later, you overhear a conversation between a couple of dudes in video game t-shirts as they pass by:
"Did you hear the Dungeoneer's Association opened a new dungeon, based entirely around some crappy old game? Space Hill 9 or something?"
"Yeah dude, except I heard they just found the entrance behind some old crates in their storeroom, and it was all already themed that way. So like the video game was based on this old forgotten dungeon, not the other way around."
"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means."
The two nerds snort-laugh their way down the street.
Visit the Dungeoneer's Association
The text uses a lot of word buckets, the details of some of which are outlined in their respective templates.
Section III Plot & Backstory
- Flabbernathy, Grey Chill Copse, Bafflesbury, Phleberron, The Breeze Vale, Silverhawk, The Blain Forest, Aridthief Stream, Llewllamarall, Glameroth, The Crack Pond, X'tn'ch'roth, Veinkeep Ridge
SECTION IV: CONTROLS List of 16 controls in the game. Each control consists of a button or button combination and random videogame command, separated by a colon. There are far too many to list here.
Section V Walkthru
- Level 2:
- Once you've made it out of <level 1>, you'll on your way to <level 2>, where you'll have to fight <minion1>, <minion2>, and <minion3> if you hope to survive! The people of <place> are counting on you, <hero>!
- Level 3:
- Okay, now that you're out of <level 2>, you're in the home stretch. <level 3> is harder (it makes good old <level 1> look like <something really easy>!), but you've only got one more level to go before you face Xorkor the Shadow Warlock! In <level 3>, be on the lookout for <minion1>, <minion2>, and especially <minion3>!
- Bad news, <hero> -- Shred Knight Yrgk'tuk has sent his mightiest lieutenant after you! Get ready to fight Goryshk' the Wisplord, <ruler> of <level name>! Skip to Section VIII for more detailed information about him.
- At the end of the level, you'll encounter a terrifying sphinx, with a terrifying riddle! (Okay, the riddle isn't particularly terrifying I guess.) The answer is <answer and comment>
- At the end of the level, you'll find your progress is blocked by a huge lake. How are you going to get past it? <solution>
- At the end of the level, you'll face the first real challenge of the game: <description> Gorge. This is a platform-jumping sequence, and the last few platforms move, so watch out! The trick for clearing that first real tricky jump is to jump when <solution>.
- At the end of the level, you'll unfortunately encounter the dumbest puzzle ever: there's three locked doors, and one key. My advice to you is to choose the <solution> door. Just trust me on this.
- At the end of the level, you'll find an old study or library in the tunnels beneath <Dungeon Level>. It looks like a dead-end, but don't get confused -- you didn't miss anything! (Not yet at least!) Naturally, there's a secret passage here for you to find. <solution>!
- Now you're on your way to the terrible <place> of <next level>!
- The final challenge of <level> will be a maze. It's not a long one, fortunately, but pay attention! You will start out facing <direction>. You should go <five directions>, and then, assuming you haven't messed up somewhere, you'll be out of the maze, and out of <level>! Congratulations!
Section VI Final Boss
- Shows the boss's special ability.
- Cold immunity -- Dandy the Shade Knight is totally immune to ice-element attacks -- no Glaciernacht spells for you, <Hero Name>! And you might think he'd take extra damage from fire, like other ice-element creatures, but he doesn't. Bah!
- Cold aura -- Scream Necromancer Del's evil black heart deals ice damage just by being near it! Get as much Fur-Lined and Ice Warded gear as you can before entering the battle!
- Hot immunity -- Ylgzagylk the Death Prime Minister is 100 percent immune to fire, so don't even bother wasting your MP on that Flame Cloud spell! (Unfortunately, he doesn't take extra damage from Ice spells. Boo!)
- Hot aura -- Devil Lawyer Morxorgor's throne room is super hot inside, and you're going to be literally cooking while you fight him! Get as much Fire Warded gear as you can, and try to get some Warm Blood potions as well.
- Ignores armor(?) -- Toskzaxvosk the Rage Vampire's attacks *hurt*, because he ignores a lot of your armor. Have a lot of healing available -- heck, it's the last fight, so there's no sense in holding onto those Ultraheal pots any longer, right?
- Blocks combat items -- Scream Prime Minister Larry doesn't stand around passively while you use items on him -- in fact, he'll knock them right out of your hand and laugh at you, that jerk!
- Reduced physical damage -- Mogbazgar the Scream Overlord is pretty strong against regular attacks, and will take less damage from them than usual monsters! I recommend you use an elemental-aligned spell like Glacier or Tera Bolt, or have your weapon enchanted with Flame Shroud or the like.
- Reduced damage from spells -- Hollow Zombie Yshbokvoskmug is resistant to spells, and takes less damage from them. Yeah, I sure hope you didn't go full mage-class all the way through the game! (Maybe I should have warned you earlier, huh?)
- Stun resistance -- Lurkbogbog the Cram Hobo is totally stun-resistant. Yeah, like, don't even bother trying it. (I heard there was an exploit in testing where you could totally stun-lock him and make the fight trivial, so this is how they fixed it. Lame!)
- Elemental resistance -- Cram Vampire Ike's elemental alignment is totally neutral, so he takes less damage from elemental attacks! (So much for your Magma Hose and Ice Blade spells!)
- Passive damage -- Hugziggor the Shred Troll's spiky armor will do damage to you if you try to hit him in melee combat, so unless you're really sure you can tough it out, try a crossbow or spells instead!
Section VII Item List
- Shows the items dropped by the final boss and monsters in this dungeon, listed alphabetically. They consist of one item each in the following categories.
- Boss Drop
- Belt of Howling Anger -- This is the best belt in the game, and it better be, since you have to kill <Final Boss> to get it!
- Boots of Twilight Whispers -- These boots are *amazing!* So totally sweet! It's just a shame you have to kill <Final Boss> to get them, so you don't get to use them for very much of the game.
- Cloak of Dire Shadows -- This is by far the sweetest cloak in the game. It's dropped by <Final Boss> -- you can see him wearing it in the cutscene, too!
- Gauntlets of the Blood Moon -- These bad-ass gloves are only dropped by <Final Boss>, so they won't get much use in your first playthrough, but you'll be kicking butt in New Game+!
- Greaves of the Murk Lord -- These totally awesome pants drop from <Final Boss>, so is <Final Boss> the Murk Lord? I'm not real clear on what the backstory is there.
- Helm of the Scream Emperor -- Man! Check out that helmet! It's the one that <Final Boss> wears, so don't expect to get much use out of it until you start New Game+, but it's totally worth it to play through the entire game again and see what <Final Boss>'s TRUE FACE looks like!
- Shield of Icy Fate -- This is <Final Boss>'s own shield, yours for the taking if you defeat him! The huge defense bonus it grants will make your next playthrough much easier!
- Sword of Dark Omens -- Oh man, ehre[sic] it is! The best weapon in the entire game! Forget that rocket launcher you've been dragging around, this baby is where it's at! Sadly, it drops off <Final Boss>, so it's only good for New Game+, but it's so, so worth it!
- L1 - Tankard of ale -- This is your most basic beverage, available in <Dungeon Level> (Level 1).
- L2 - Bottle of wine -- A medium-size thirst-quencher, available in <Dungeon Level>.
- L3 - Shining goblet -- You'll find these in <Dungeon Level>, they're filled with magical elixir, or nectar of the gods, or mead or something like that. Don't drink too much, it'll go right to your head!
- L1 - Slice of pizza -- This is your most basic food item, which you'll get from the enemies in Level 1 (<Dungeon Level>). Don't go adventuring hungry!
- L2 - Hamburger -- This is a medium-size food item, found in <Dungeon Level>. If lack of a hamburger is what ails you, then this is good for that.
- L3 - Whole roasted chicken -- This is the game's best food item, which you'll find in Level 3. I'm not sure what the guys there are doing with whole roasted chickens, but why look a gift horse in the mouth, right?
- Combat Item
- L1 - Vial of holy water -- Halleluiah! Just throw one of these at your opponent, and it'll set their evil butts on fire! Not as effective as similar items you'll find later on in the game, but still helpful.
- L2 - Round blue bomb -- Light one of these and throw it at your enemy to do a ton of blast damage, but don't stand too close!
- L3 - Fireball -- Not many foes can withstand a magical ball of fire to the face! Boom! You can find these in level 3, but be careful when you pick them up!
- Meat-producing item
- L1 - Huge gold coin -- These will give you a small boost to your bank account, so don't pass them up on Level 1!
- L2 - Dollar-sign bag -- This should help boost your wallet in the middle part of the game. Get as many as you can!
- L3 - Massive gemstone -- Oh man, when you've gotten to <Dungeon Level>, don't miss these! Every one you find will make it that much easier to buy the gear you'll need to beat <Final Boss>!
- HP Restorer
- L1 - Cartoon heart -- Picking up this little floating heart will give you a small boost to your HPs.
- L2 - Red potion -- This is a medium-strength HP restorer. Don't let your health drop too low, or it's GAME OVER!
- L3 - Extra-strength red potion -- This red potion is available in <Dungeon Level>, and is much more effective at healing your wounds than the regular-strength one
- MP Restorer
- L1 - Gold star -- You'll find these in <Dungeon Hall>; don't skip them, because they heal some of your MP, and you're going to need all you can get!
- L2 - Blue potion -- These drop in <Dungeon Level>, and you should keep a few on hand to keep your MP up! You'll need plenty of that sweet blue juice when you get to <Dungeon Level>!
- L3 - Fancy blue potion -- When the regular blue potion isn't enough, the extra-fancy one (only available in <Dungeon Level>) should have your MP-restoring needs covered!
- L1 - Iron dagger -- A basic Level 1 starter weapon, useful until you find something better. Myself, I prefer to stuck with the default whip, but YMMV.
- L2 - Steel sword -- You'll find this basic weapon in level 2. Personally, I prefer the <equipment> you start with, but it's up to you.
- L3 - Flaming sword -- This super-sweet weapon looks the same as the regular steel sword, except it's on fire! Naturally, it does much more damage to the various goons in <Dungeon Level>, where you'll find it.
- L1 - Green cloth cap -- This is your standard hero elf hat. Not the best protection, but it's better than nothing, <hero>!
- L2 - Iron helmet -- A good mid-game helmet, you'll probably find one somewhere in <Dungeon Level>.
- L3 - Gold crown -- Hopefully the king of <Dungeon Level> won't mind if you hold onto it for a while, because this hat is among the best head armor available!
- Boss Drop
SECTION VIII: MONSTER LIST
- Consists of the monsters for each level.
- Level 1
- <bat> -- Bats are usually the weakest enemies in any game, and these are no exception. They have very little health, and do basically no damage, but the can still knock you into a pit, so watch out!
- <bat2> -- These little guys are pretty cute, but don't be lulled into a false sense of security -- they can still knock you into a pit if they hit you at the wrong time!
- <blob> -- These guys are my favorite! Their sprite is pretty cute, and I love the little "splat" noise it makes when you kill them.
- <blob2> -- Yeah, don't worry too much about these. They do hardly any damage -- in fact, a single armor upgrade will often negate their damage entirely.
- <blob3> -- I like to call these guys "jello shots". That's what they look like! I'm not sure what flavor they are -- maybe lime?
- <clown> -- It's kind of weird to see a clown in this situation. Also I don't like the way the sprite is designed -- it looks like their teeth are all yellow and pointy? It's gross.
- <demon> -- If these little red guys are flapping out of your reach, do a melee jump-attack. If you shoot them with a projectile while they're in the air, they'll return fire with a fireball that can be difficult to avoid.
- <demon2> -- These guys aren't too strong, but you still should make killing them a priority over other monsters in the level. If you leave them alone for too long they'll summon friends, and you can get zerged pretty quick!
- <ghost> -- These will mostly just be a problem when you need to do a lot of jumping. Clear out the graves first -- a Holy Burst will make short work of them.
- <ghost2> -- These guys aren't too bad, but the way they fade in and out can make them hard to hit sometimes. Holy attacks are best!
- <goblin> -- These little guys with their spears are super annoying. Fortunately they squish easy, but don't try to jump on them from above!
- <goblin2> -- Individually, these little green goblins are a joke, but be careful not to get surrounded by them -- they can stun-lock you if several are hammering on you at the same time.
- <gopher> -- These are hardly even a monster. *squish*
- <gopher2> -- I don't really understand why a cute little animal like a gopher is a monster in this game? I guess they wanted something easy for the first levels and a bunny was too cliché.
- <gopher3> -- Unsurprisingly, these aren't much threat. They move quick, though, and can pop out of the ground unexpectedly. You don't want to get nickel-and-dimed to death by gophers, that would be super embarrassing.
- <knight> -- Most of your physical attacks will bounce off their armor, but blunt weapons will still shake them up a bit. Try some spells!
- <knight2> -- Their lances have good range, and their armor is pretty tough. Fortunately they're slow, and easy to avoid.
- <ninja> -- These guys are the worst, always jumping around like they own the place. Stand still, ninjas!
- <ninja2> -- I guess these are ninjas? They look like they're wearing black pajamas, and they throw little stars at you. So probably ninjas.
- <ninja3> -- These low-level ninjas move fast, but they don't do much damage. Of course, unless you kill them, they will continue to do not much damage until it adds up to a lot.
- <skateboarder> -- Show these guys your sweet moves, by ollying (jumping) on their heads! Or you could hit them with a weapon I guess.
- <skateboarder2> -- Skateboarders? Why are you fighting skateboarders in this game? I guess it is one of the great mysteries of life.
- <skateboarder3> -- These "radical dudes" will mostly mind their own business and ignore you, but they move erratically and could knock you into a pit if you aren't careful.
- <skeleton> -- The bones they throw arc pretty high, and will pass through a platform, so they can still get you if you're above them. Watch out for that.
- <skeleton2> -- It would not be a video game without skeletons. Any video game without skeletons is not a true video game.
- <skeleton3> -- Don't waste your arrows on these guys. They just go right through. If you're like super lucky you might do like one point of damage. What you want here is a big F-off hammer.
- <troll> -- Most fantasy trolls are real bruisers, but these ones aren't too bad. More like orcs. They still have the thing where they regenerate health unless you kill them with fire, though, so watch out for that.
- <troll> -- The trolls are very tough, and regenerate HP, so it's gonna take a real effort to kill one. Fortunately, they're pretty slow and easy to dodge.
- <turtle> -- I always leave the turtles here alone, because they're cute. ^_^ They're too slow to be a real threat anyway.
- <turtle2> -- Hardly even enemies. In fact, you can jump on their shell to give you a boost to higher platforms, so they're even helpful!
- <turtle3> -- Their shells are super-tough, so you're better off just avoiding them unless you've got Earthquake or something else that can flip them over.
- <warlock> -- Don't let his freeze spell hit you -- it doesn't do much damage, but the stun will leave you open to attacks from other mobs.
- <warlock2> -- These magical mans[sic] can be annoying, but they're pretty flimsy, and go down easily to melee attacks. If he starts casting his fireball, duck quickly!
- <zombie> -- Graaagh, brains! Don't worry about these guys much, they go down easily. Just don't let them pile up and surrpund[sic] you.
- <zombie2> -- I am so tired of zombies in games. Okay, well, except for <video game>. The ones in that were cool.
- <zombie3> -- Don't bother trying to clear them out if there's a grave nearby -- they'll spawn infinitely. Just clear out the ones in your way and move on.
- Level 1
- Level 2
- <bat> -- Keep an eye out for these -- they'll swoop on you out of the darkness and ambush you! Listen for their telltale squeal before they attack!
- <bat2> -- These guys are larger than regular bats, and tougher, and they hit harder. They still aren't super-dangerous, but watch out if you've been weakened by the other monsters in the level.
- <bat3> -- These bats are a little hardier than the usual little rat-birds, and can be difficult to avoid. With some practice, though, you'll get used to their wavy flight pattern, and you'll be able to avoid them easily.
- <blob> -- These guys aren't hard to kill, but they leave a slime trail when they move, which will damage you continually if you stand in it. Try to kill them as quickly as possible so you don't run out of places to stand!
- <blob> -- Be careful when using an edged weapon against these guys -- if you do too much damage with one, but not enough to kill the monster, it may split into more enemies. You can easily get overrun this way.
- <clown> -- The glowing red eyes on these clowns are really creepy, and I hate their laughter sound effect. It's really harsh and grating! Try to kill them as soon as possible.
- <clown2> -- Duck the pies! Seriously!
- <clown3> -- These guys will attack from a distance with juggling attacks, which is good -- if you fight them in melee range, they have a decent chance of poisoning you. Poison clowns, WTF??
- <demon> -- Keep an eye on these guys -- if you see purple lights surround one, it's getting ready to cast its Curse spell, which you do. not. want! Interrupt the cast with a melee strike as quickly as possible!
- <demon2> -- I'm pretty sure these guys were swiped from Doom. Don't stand in the way of their charge attack -- they hit like a truck! Step to the side and let them hit a wall, then you can get a couple hits in while they're stunned.
- <goblin> -- Ahh, the classic video game mook. He walks slow, but he hits hard, and has a lot of health. Your best bet for these guys is to deal with them from range, especially if there's more than one of them. Don't let them surround you -- doorways are your friend.
- <ghost> -- These ghosts aren't affected by physical weapons at all -- you'll need spells to deal with them. Holy-aligned spells like Chant are best. Of course, the best of all would be Godfist, but you won't have that on a first playthrough.
- <ghost2> -- Try to keep your distance when fighting ghosts -- their shriek attack is unblockable, and isn't affected by armor! Fortunately the range is only short-to-medium, so even if your only projectile attack is daggers, you should still be able to fight while staying back.
- <ghost3> -- These spooky fellows can be a real pain to fight, because they can go through walls and your weapons and spells can't. Fortunately, they don't change direction often, so you can anticipate where they're heading and be waiting there for them.
- <gopher> -- These monsters are kind of low to the ground (even when they aren't popping in and out of their holes) so your best bet is a weapon with a downward arc, like the Battleaxe, or a spell with ground effects, like Ice Wave.
- <gopher2> -- These are your pretty standard sort of video game enemy. Try to parry when he attacks with his sword, since they do a fair amount of damage. Fortunately, they don't move fast, and you can get behind them for back-attacks pretty easily.
- <gopher3> -- I guess these are gophers? That's what I call them anyway. They look like gophers, but they're kind of big? Anyway, they're a pretty basic fast-moving type of enemy that will charge you and then quickly retreat, so you need to pay careful attention and hit them just as they're about to hit you.
- <knight> -- These guys are really hardy, but if you can get a strong attack right in the middle of their shield, they're likely to fall over, and it takes them a while to get back on their feet. Take advantage of this and kick them while they're down!
- <mushroom> -- Honestly, these guys aren't particularly dangerous, but their attacks can poison, and they can regenerate damage (except for fire damage). But, they don't move fast, and they don't have any ranged attacks, so you shouldn't find them a problem.
- <mushroom2> -- Okay, these mushroom-men aren't fast, and they don't have a huge amount of health or deal a lot of damage. But you DO have to be careful when you kill them, because they release a spore cloud that will give you Lung Rot, and that cloud will stick around for about fifteen seconds.
- <ninja> -- These guys attack when you least expect it, so you should try to make sure you are always expecting it! They don't have a lot of hit points, but they attack fast and dodge faster, so they can be a real pain to deal with, especially if there's more than one!
- <ninja2> -- It should have been pirates, pirates are way cooler than ninjas. You know that whole "pirates vs. ninjas" thing, well, I am firmly on the side of pirates, let me tell you sir or ma'am.
- <skateboarder> -- You're better off attacking these guys in melee, because they're likely to jump into the air and deflect a ranged attack with their board unless you're at really close range, or they're already in the middle of a jump.
- <skateboarder2> -- Watch out for their Chuckie-Flip Entire Alphabet attack! If they get the full combo off on you, it could potentially be an instant kill at your level! He'll make a sort of "Oh yeah!" noise before he does it, so duck and roll out of the way fast!
- <skateboarder3> -- The skateboarders in level 2 can be difficult to deal with until you understand their movements. Look around for railings, stairways, and ramps, to predict a likely path of movement for them, and then you'll be ready to strike as soon as they appear!
- <skeleton> -- You know what the best part of fighting a skeleton is? When you kill it and it busts apart into all its seperate[sic] bones and clatters to the ground in a pile. That is one of the best things ever, if not THE best. Not just things in games, I mean ALL things. Nuts to your "miracle of childbirth"!
- <skeleton> -- These skeletons have learned a trick -- they'll throw a bone at you (like skeletons do), but the bone returns like a boomerang! So when you duck, don't be all "Welp[sic] guess I dodged that bone" because that bone will totes hit you in the back of your dumb head!
- <troll> -- Heavy melee fighters -- I don't recommend going toe-to-toe with them unless you've been putting all your points into melee and defense. Dodge and attack from the rear, or even better, cast fire spells.
- <troll> -- These trolls are a little more intelligent than your usual trolls -- their gray skin looks like stone, so they'll often stand among statues, gargoyle-like, waiting for you to get close. Of course the easy counter to this is to just destroy every statue you see.
- <turtle> -- Slow-moving, but with tons of hp and massive defense. Lightning spells work well against them, but wait until they stick their heads out of their shells. You can also attack from below if they're on a platform above you, which reduces their defense a bit.
- <turtle2> -- These turtles are immune to attacks while they're in their shells, so you have to wait until they come out to attack. They bite hard, too, so you should probably use ranged attacks if possible. Other than that they aren't particularly difficult.
- <turtle3> -- The first thing you should notice about these turtles is the spikes on their shells -- do not try to jump on top of them! Just stay out of the way as they patrol slowly around, and be ready to attack when they poke their heads out.
- <warlock> -- He doesn't really have any attacks of his own, but he will continually summon imps to harass you. Basically a mobile imp generator. Take him down quickly before he floods the screen with flappy little jerks!
- <zombie> -- Tougher than your standard zombie fodder, mainly because of the armor. They still aren't very threatening, though if one gets behind you it can Gnaw to lower your Intelligence stat for a while, so watch out for that.
- <zombie2> -- These are *fast* zombies, not the old-schooly slow ones. Be ready to do a lot of jumping and rolling when they're attacking, because you don't want the Disease their bites inflict, trust me.
- Level 2
- Level 3
- <bat> -- Unlike regular video game bats, these ones can be downright dangerous! Their wiggly flight pattern makes them hard to hit and harder to avoid -- don't try to fight them anywhere near a pit!
- <bat> -- Yeah, I know -- bats, right? Wrong! These aren't your regular tiny 1-hp video game bats! These guys will swoop down on you in a flash! Watch for their little red eyes blinking in the background scenery, and be prepared for their ambush!
- <blob> -- Watch out for these! They have an attack that will completely envelop you, stunning you for several seconds and doing damage over time. This can make you vulnerable to other monsters' attacks, and naturally the blob isn't hurt in the deal. I don't know how that works, but it totally sucks.
- <blob2> -- These guys have tons of hps, will definitely poison you, and would be terrifying if they didn't move at such a slow pace. My advice is to avoid them completely, instead of trying to go toe-to-toe with one!
- <blob3> -- These monstrous blobs of goop will poison you if they so much as touch you, and they also have an acid projectile attack that can wreck your armor if it gets a solid hit. Don't try to block them with your shield, if you like having a shield! The only defense is to dodge!
- <clown> -- These are my least favorite enemy in the game. The little subliminal whispering noises you hear when one is nearby put me right *on edge, and there's something super-creepy about the sprite that I can't put my finger on. The way it smiles, I guess? I tried to find some close-ups of the sprite on-line so I could get a better look at it, but I couldn't find any anywhere.
- <demon> -- It's a good thing these guys only appear one at a time, since they could almost be a miniboss themselves! They'll summon flocks of imps to hassle you, and their Fire Pillar spell will wreck you if it hits -- watch for the telltale puff of smoke, showing where it will erupt from, and jump out of the way fast!
- <demon> -- This super-gross plague demon will throw maggots at you, which is bad enough without the fact that you'll be poisoned if more than one hits you in a short space of time. Watch his eyes -- he'll blink just before he starts throwing. Also, don't stay in melee range for longer than it takes to get one hit in, or he'll apply a stacking Disease debuff that ticks damage over time.
- <ghost> -- Oh man, do not mess around with these spooks! They may seem like they're not terribly deadly -- their attacks only do medium damage -- but if one of them gets a Possession attack off on you, you are basically screwed, because it will make you walk straight for the nearest pit, fire, or blade trap! It doesn't last for long, but make sure you're as far away as possible from environmental hazards before taking these guys on!
- <goblin> -- These goblins are major bruisers, Abobo-style. Except green. Wait, wasn't there a green Abobo? Well, anyway, they are super-strong melee fighters, with a punch that can knock you all the way across the screen! Don't engage in fisticuffs unless you're reeeal sure of your armor and brawling skills. Spells are a better bet, or maybe a crossbow. Or a bazooka.
- <goblin> -- Listen for the pounding, because you don't want to be on the ground when these guys come charging in from the edge of the screen! That initial attack can (and probably will) do a ton of damage if it hits you! Fortunately they aren't very fast after that, so you should be able to circle-strafe them without much trouble, but don't get cocky and let them get hits in, or your health meter will deplete super fast!
- <gopher> -- I don't know about you, but a gopher the size of a bear is not something I'd want to meet in a dark alleyway! Actually, is this maybe a bear? With buck teeth? Well, I guess bears don't tunnel underground. ANYWAY, these guys move fast, hit like a truck, and if you fall in one of their holes they will stone cold mess you up. Jump up to a platform and hit them with arrows or spells!
- <ghost> -- Don't bother trying to attack these ghosts directly -- they're immune to everything! You need to break their tombstones instead -- this auto-kills them! (edit: HateMountain emailed me to say they become attackable after the tombstone is broken, and if you can land a hit in before they die on their own, they have much better item drop chances! Thanks for the tip!)
- <knight> -- If you hear galloping, get ready to double-jump -- you need the extra height, because the knight will swing his sword up at you as he passes underneath! Target the horse first, and once he dismounts you'll have a much easier time of it, since he isn't very fast on the ground. He still hits like a truck though, and his armor has huge damage mitigation. You're definitely going to need spells here.
- <knight2> -- I bet you were wondering what a Sherman tank with legs would look like, right? Well, even if you weren't here it is! He doesn't have a turret, fortunately, but that halbert is bad enough news -- it has long range, hits hard, and he can swing it fast! If you can get inside the range of it, you can deal some good hits that way, but I recommend magic instead.
- <mushroom> -- The most problematic thing about these giant mushrooms is the tentacle-like roots. Do mushrooms have roots? Vines? Anyway, you don't want them to tangle you up, or you'll be a sitting duck for the rest of the monsters (which will be swarming in as soon as the mushroom starts to scream). Use ranged attacks, or have a Grease spell active.
- <mushroom2> -- Fire spells works best on these, although an ice spell will stop them from shooting spore clouds everywhere, so you might want to hit it with one of those first, if you have Dual Element Technique. Honestly, these guys are probably the only reason to spent your SPs on that tech.
- <mushroom3> -- Okay, I know you're thinking, "haha mushrooms? mushrooms aren't dangerous whatever man" but SERIOUSLY you need to wise up before one of these things kills the sh***t out of you. They soak up damage like a sponge, and their spores are fast, move erratically, and will inflict Disease AND Poison AND Mute AND Choke on you if they touch you! Force Bubble is a must-have, and you'd better have a decent fire spell too!
- <ninja> -- Oh man, ninjas. These guys are the *worst*. You'd better have a See Invisible spell or the Infared Vision bio-enhancement before you get here, because these ninjas will come out of nowhere, attack for a ton of damage, and then vanish before you can counter-attack. You *need* some way to see through their invisibility powers, or they will slice you into cold-cuts.
- <ninja2> -- You won't see these guys coming without Eyes of the Eagle or a maxed-out Perception score. It's *possible* to dodge their Ambush attack without that, but you basically have to already be pushing the dodge button when they appear, so you aren't likely to pull it off. If you hit one in melee combat, he will back off and start throwing shuriken[sic] at you instead, which won't be too bad if your Reflexes and/or Defense are high.
- <skateboarder> -- The skateboarders in Level 3 are fast as h*ll, and will take your head right off with their Differentway Nose-Block attack -- the edges of the board are sharp! They're fastest when grinding rails, so keep clear of those and you'll have a better chance. You can also try a "Quickmud" spell, or a Potion of Glue to slow them down.
- <skateboarder> -- I don't really understand why there are skateboarders in what is supposed to be a fantasy game, but I guess whatever? I suppose there might have been medieval skateboards. Maybe they had boards with little wheels for moving marble blocks out of quarries or something, and kids played on them. That sounds kind of plausible.
- <skeleton> -- Okay, these skeletons might seem like regular skeletons, but the important difference is that they *can't be killed, ever*. You can bust them up and they will fall apart for a while, but fifteen seconds or so they will reform back and start moving around again. So, when fighting other monsters in the area, be ready for that skeleton you killed earlier to get back up and start attacking again -- don't stand around with your back to the bone pile!
- <troll> -- Whoo man. You're in trouble now. These trolls are slow, but will turn you into a grease stain on the floor if you let them hit you. If you try to fight them in melee range you will be hammering dodge pretty much the entire time, so I suggest ranged attacks instead. A heavy fire spell like UltiFlam or Nova Bomb would be a good bet -- they don't regen health like other trolls, so it doesn't *have* to be fire, but they do take bonus damage from it.
- <troll2> -- Yes, that is an entire tree he's using for a club. I hope you've learned how to use dodge by now, or else you're double-boned.
- <turtle> -- You seriously need armor-penetrating attacks to take these guys on. The Can Opener sword works wonders, and Energy Bolt III is pretty good too. (Energy Bolt I and II will also work if you don't have III, but obviously those will take longer.) If you don't have armor penetration, you're pretty much stuck avoiding them -- not a trivial problem, since they fill up so much of the screen, but some clever and precise jumping should do the trick.
- <turtle2> -- These things are huge, and have the best armor of any monster in the game. Unless you plan to use end-game spells like Doom Seal or Apocalypse (which might not be a bad idea if you've got mp regeneration), you're going to have to wait until they start to breathe fire at you -- that's right, they breathe *fire*! -- and unleash a ton of projectile attacks into their mouths.
- <turtle3> -- These guys cause problems for a lot of people, but I've discovered the best trick against them -- the good old Earthquake spell. They take full damage from it, even if they're withdrawn into their shells! Make sure you have Earthquake before entering Level 3, and you'll have a MUCH easier time of it.
- <warlock> -- This jerk will teleport behind you and cast some *really bad* magic, that does a ton of damage and also inflicts Curse. Be ready to turn and attack the instant you hear their little "fwoop" teleport noise. Don't bother trying to use your shield, unless you've charged it with Holy magic.
- <zombie> -- Okay, these guys are pretty awful because of their huge hp and the fact that they keep coming at you full-bore until you grind them into dirt, but here's a good trick: their AI is appropriately terrible, and they will just run into a wall if you're on the other side of it. A wall-penetrating attack like Sonic Burst or the Phase Whip will tear through them while they stand there, and you'll be totally protected!
- <zombie2> -- Big. Tough. Strong. Don't take them lightly! Above all, do NOT let one score a bite attack on you, because it will totally screw up your stats (ALL your stats) until you can get to a church (or you use a Blessed Elixir, but those are rare and you'd be better off saving them if you can). Attack them from a distance. Fire magic is your best bet, arrows and daggers won't do much.
- Level 3
SECTION IX: BUGS & CHEATS Consists of 6 cheats, randomly ordered.
- Cheat names include
- All Armor Is <Color>
- All Textures Are <Color>
- All Textures Are Invisible (not as interesting as it sounds)
- All Weapons Are <Color>
- <Animal> Head Mode
- Always In Bullet-Time
- Big Head Mode
- Blood Is <Color>
- Bobcat Head Mode
- Citizens Are Always Happy
- Demigod Mode
- Double Anti-Aliasing
- Everyone Is Skateboarders
- Fly Mode
- God Mode
- Gorilla Suit Mode
- Infinite Ammo
- Infinite Healing Potions
- Infinite Lollipops
- Infinite Mana Potions
- Infinite Money
- Infinite Rocket Launcher
- Infinite The Pickles
- Infinite Typewriter Ribbons
- Jump Extra High
- Less Gore
- Low Gravity Mode
- Maxed-Out Stats
- More Gore
- No Environmental Damage
- No Fall Damage
- No Gore
- No-Clip Mode
- Noir Mode
- One-Shot Kills Mode
- Psychedelic Mode
- Remove Film Grain Effect
- Remove Fog Effects
- Remove Slope Climbing Restrictions
- Retro Mode (Scanlines)
- Schoolgirl Outfit
- Turn Off All Cheats
- Turn Off Anistropic Filtering
- Turn Off Anti-Aliasing
- Turn Off Weather Effects
- Unlimited Pens
- Unlimited Torches
- Unlock All Spells
- Unlock All Vehicle Customization Options
- Unlock Boss Rush Mode
- Way More Gore
- Way Too Much Gore
- Weapons Never Break
- Widescreen Mode