Flock of seagulls

Flock of seagulls
Monster ID	699
Locations	Anywhere, after killing the Mob Penguin hitman as a Disco Bandit.
Hit Points	120
Attack	95
Defense	85
Initiative	50
Meat	None
Phylum	beast
Elements	None
Resistance
Monster Parts	head, leg, torso, wing
Drops None
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a flock of seagulls

You stop short, and slowly look around you. Perched on every surface are dozens -- possibly hundreds -- of seagulls, staring at you with their beady, emotionless black eyes. Everything is silent.

Your heart is beating like a drum as you prepare to run (so far away), but you don't get the chance. With a chorus of angry squawking, the seagulls launch themselves at you en masse.

Hit Message(s):

One of the seagulls swoops at your face and pecks its pick of your puckered peepers. Ow! Ouch! Ow! Argh!

One of the seagulls claws your face. Your blood rains down like crystal teardrops to the floor. Argh! Eek! Ugh! Ugh!

One of the gulls gets tangled up in your hair, pecking and scratching and shrieking. Man, if you thought bats were bad.... Ugh! Ugh! Eek! Argh!

A seagull flies up and says, "My NAME is JONATHAN LIVINGSTON!" Then he pecks the bejeebers out of you. Ooh! Argh! Ugh! Ugh!

Critical Hit Message:

The birds swoop down at you, raking you with their talons and pecking at your eyes. It's just like in that movie, umm... what was it called... Vertigo? No... Eek! Ouch! Eek! Argh!

Miss Message(s):

A portly, balding gentleman strolls past with a dog on a leash. Both you and the birds are momentarily distracted.

One of the gulls swoops at you, nearly getting entangled in your hair. Instead, it just blows it over the front, resulting in a really goofy new look.

The seagulls take a break to fly over a nearby bay, making them baygulls.

One of the seagulls tries to peck a pick of your puckered peepers, but a scottish guy with an umbrella scares it away.

One of the seagulls insists that his name is Jonathan Livingston. You concede the point rather than argue it.

A seagull flies over you and lets loose with a bowel movement, but you quickly dodge it. Whew.

Fumble Message:

The seagulls squawk at each other for a moment. They appear to be arguing over whether or not you're a mime. (FUMBLE!)

---

After Combat

Notes

• Occurs at any adventure.php location, and will only occur as a Disco Bandit after defeating the Mob Penguin hitman and reaching at least 75 Moxie during the Me and My Nemesis quest.
• This monster may be encountered while falling-down drunk.
• This encounter will reoccur regularly until your mainstat reaches 90, at which point it will be replaced by Jocko Homo.
• After this enemy is encountered and defeated, the following text appears under Guild Quests:

Me and My Nemesis

Bam! So much for your Nemesis' assassins! If that's the best they've got, you have nothing at all to worry about.

You sure hope that's the best they've got.

• Or, if you encounter this enemy and get beaten up:

Me and My Nemesis

Your suspicious have been confirmed: your Nemesis has put the order out for you to be hunted down and killed, and now they're sending their own guys instead of contracting out. Good luck!

• This monster counts as a group (of size two or more). It takes manifold damage from area-of-effect skills such as Wave of Sauce.

References

• The movie being obliquely referred to is Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. Vertigo is another of his movies. As Hitchcock was famous for cameos within his own films, the "portly, balding gentleman" walking a dog refers directly to him.
• The gull in your hair miss message refers to the signature hairdo of Mike Score, of the 1980s new wave group "A Flock of Seagulls".
• When your character prepares to run (so far away) this is a reference to the above group's song, "I Ran (So Far Away)".
• Jonathan Livingston Seagull is a book by Richard Bach. It was made into a movie, with a soundtrack by Neil Diamond.
• The miss message about the Scottish gentleman with the umbrella references the seagull vs. airplane scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
• The miss message about a mime refers to Finding Nemo, in which seagulls only said "Mine".