Flaming Troll

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Flaming Troll
Monster ID 142
Locations The Valley of Rof L'm Fao
Hit Points 73
Attack 83
Defense 74
No-Hit 93
Initiative 60
Meat 32-48
Phylum humanoid
Elements bad spelling
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
Drops
flaming talons, Trollhouse cookies
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Flaming Troll You're fighting a Flaming Troll

The smell of brimstone, the hulking body and dragging claws, the sound of "stfu d00d u r teh suk" -- yup, this must be a flaming troll.

Hit Message(s):

It flames you in the <arm> with a clever combination of profanity and fisticuffs. Ow! Eek! Argh! Ow! (bad spelling damage)

It hurls insults at you. And brimstone. Ugh! Ugh! Ow! Eek! (hot damage)

It hurls insults at you, as well as sticks and stones. The words don't hurt, but... well, you know the rest. Eek! Oof! Ouch! Argh!

It lights your <ear> on fire. Fire bad! Oof! Ouch! Ouch! Argh! (hot damage)

The flaming troll compares you to a genocidal dictator because you corrected its grammar. Then it punches you in the throat. Ouch! Ooh! Oof! Eek!

Critical Hit Message:

It starts to deliver a well-crafted, thought-out, visceral and intelligent dissection of all of your biggest personality flaws, but decides it'd be better to just pummel you senseless instead. Ow! Ow! Ooh! Ow!

Miss Message(s):

It tries to flame you in the <bung>, but you ignore the attack and it misses.

It hurls insults at you, but you grin and bear it.

It hurls sticks and stones at you, but you jump around to avoid getting your bones broken.

It tries to set your <kidney> on fire, but you're inflammable. Wait, that means flammable. You're un-light-on-fire-able.

The flaming troll compares you to a genocidal dictator, which means the argument is officially over.

It points out your obvious physical shortcomings, but you deliver a short poem about rubber and glue.

Fumble Message:

He hurls some more insults at you, but you deliver a pithy, intelligent verbal beat-down. Which, of course, he doesn't understand. But at least he's standing there scratching his head instead of attacking you. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 32-51 Meat (average: 40.5, stdev: 3.8)*
Toes.gifYou acquire an item: flaming talons (12.6% chance)*
Cookies.gifYou acquire an item: Trollhouse cookies (39.4% chance)*
You gain 20.75 <substat>.

Occurs at The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm.

References

  • The name refers to two kinds of internet annoyance: Flaming and Trolling.
  • "Fire bad!" is a reference to one of the Monster's lines in the film Bride of Frankenstein
  • The hit and miss messages refer to the saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
  • The 'short poem about rubber and glue' is the, generally poor comeback of 'I'm rubber, you're glue, so whatever you say bounces off me and sticks back onto you'.
  • The "smells of brimstone" refers to actual brimstone, or sulfur, which is found in extremely hot places and smells very unpleasant.
  • The last miss message refers to the common misconception that inflammable and flammable are antonyms, rather than synonyms.