Fishing Village

From TheKolWiki
Jump to: navigation, search

The Fishing Village is found in the Secret Tropical Island Volcano Lair (Accordion Thief).

Visiting for the first time:


As you approach the village, the people scurry into their huts. A few of the grannies scowl at you through half-open shutters. "Hello?" you call out. "I'm not here to hurt anyone. I just need information."

A door creaks open, and a gnarled old man hunched over a similarly-gnarled old walking stick approaches you hesitantly. "You do not appear to be one of Somerset Lopez's bandidos," he says. "Who are you?"

"My name is <player name>," you reply. "I've traveled here from Seaside Village, in the Kingdom of Loathing."

The old man looks you up and down, and his eyes widen. "You are un ladrón del acordión! The ancient enemy of the mariachi!"

"I take exception to being called "ancient", but yes."

"Oh, [señor/señorita]! You must help us! Our village, she is constantly beset by Somerset Lopez and his henchmen! They steal from us what fish we can catch, leaving us barely enough to survive on, and nearly all of the young men of the village have been killed trying to stop them. We are desperate for your aid!"

"Well, as it happens I'm here to deal with Lopez and his goons once and for all anyway, so sure."

"¡Maravilloso! How will you do it? Please, tell me your plan, and we will help you in whatever way we can."

"Plan? Well, I hadn't actually gotten that far yet. Let me see..." You pick up a stick and begin to doodle on the dusty ground. "I suppose I could train the villagers to fight, and build a wall around the village. Then we could kill the bandits one by one as they enter the single purposely-unfortified gap. Or, alternately, I could get thrown out of the village by bandits who were let inside by traitors, and return to defeat the bandits in the morning. Either way, unfortunately, I'd need six other guys, and four of us would get killed. So that's not much use."

You tap your chin thoughtfully as you scratch out your drawing and start again. "How about if the village seamstresses make a bunch of outfits like mine, and we dress all the villagers up like me to confuse the bandits into thinking I'm some sort of amazingly skilled gunfighter? Then we'd only need two more guys and a singing bush."

The old man shakes his head. "We have no seamstresses here, [amigo/amiga]. Just fishermen, and fish do not make a very convincing disguise."

"So much for that then," you say, scratching out your diagram again. "Looks like I'll just have to go with the usual: sneak inside Lopez's hideout under cover of darkness and assassinate him."

", that could work. However, Lopez's hacienda is only enterable from the front, and he keeps the door tightly locked. You will need to recover the keys from inside the barracks." He takes your stick and sketches a rough diagram of the fort in the dust, then points to a spot on the rear wall. "The front is well-guarded, but here in the back there is a place where the wall is damaged. You could climb in easily there."

"All right, I guess that's what I'll do then."

"Un momento," he says, and shuffles back into his hut. He returns a moment later and hands you a small bag. "Here, [señor/señorita] -- we do not have much to offer you in further assistance, but these things will maybe help you."

"Thanks. I'll let you know how it goes, old-timer." You give a wave to the people peeking out of their windows, and head out of the village.

Sack2.gifYou acquire an item: fisherman's sack

Later visits:


Deciding to take a break from the nerve-wracking action of whatever it is you've been doing for the past few adventures (I mean, I can't just assume you've been sneaking around in the bandits' barracks all this time; you could've spent the last dozen turns playing the Goat Party slot machine for all I know), you wander back to the little fishing village. The little old man invites you in for a meal of fish tacos, and doesn't understand why you start [giggling/sniggering] like that.

After a pleasant conversation about nothing much, you decide it's time to get back to this business of getting into Somerset Lopez's hacienda.

After opening Somerset Lopez's hacienda:

You return to the little fishing village and tell the old man that you managed to get into Somerset Lopez's hacienda, and that it won't be long until his bandit troubles are over. Ecstatic, he calls out to the other villagers, who cheer excitedly and dance around you. Puffed up with pride and grateful accolades, you decide it's time to finish the job.

After defeating Somerset Lopez, Demon Mariachi:

When you return to the village, all of the people cheer and throw flowers at you. They throw a party in your honor, with lots of music and dancing. One of the cute village [girls/boys] kisses you on the cheek, and you begin to think that this hero business isn't such a bad deal.

"Mi [amigo/amiga]," says the old man through tears of joy, "we have little with which to reward you, but please take some more of these tools. They may aid you in your other adventures, eh?"

"Thanks, old-timer. They may come in handy, at that."

"Come back tomorrow, [señor/señorita], and I'll be able to give you some more of them."

Eventually you manage to extricate yourself from the festivities, and continue on your way with a friendly wave to the villagers.

Sack2.gifYou acquire an item: fisherman's sack

Visiting again that day:

You return to the fishing village, but it looks like everyone's gone to bed after the recent festivities. You'll have to come back some other time.


  • The reason for giggling/sniggering over fish taco is a slang term for that special taco one might not want to eat.
  • The description of your plan and its results refers to the movies The Seven Samurai and The Magnificent Seven
  • The plan involving the Seamtresses and the singing bush is a reference to the movie Three Amigos.