Fire-breathing duck

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Fire-breathing duck
Monster ID 559
Locations The Back 40, McMillicancuddy's Farm (Post-War)
Hit Points 185
Attack 177
Defense 154
No-Hit 187
Initiative 50
Meat 120-180
Phylum beast
Elements hot
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, leg, tail, torso, wing
Drops
duct tape, flaming feather
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
fire-breathing duck You're fighting a fire-breathing duck

This is a duck that started breathing fire after you did your lantern trick in the barn. Either it swallowed some of the flaming lamp oil, or the heat unlocked some sort of latent mutant power it had, or the fact that it started breathing fire is a complete coincidence. It doesn't really matter -- the important thing is that somebody gets this freakin' duck away from you.

Hit Message(s):

It tries to set your <neck> on fire, and succeeds admirably. Ugh! Argh! Oof! Ouch! Ugh! Oof! (hot damage)

It stomps you with its still-glowing feet. Oof! Oof! Ow! Ooh! Argh! Ouch! (hot damage)

It breathes a gout of flame onto your <arse>. Mmmm, <skull> flambée. Ouch! Ouch! Ugh! Argh! Argh! (hot damage)

It show you some love. In this case, the love becomes your funeral pyre. Ooh! Ugh! Eek! Eek! Ooh! (hot damage)

Critical Hit Message:

It rises into the air and does a strafing run with its fiery breath. It's like being attacked by a cute, feathery dragon. You should have ducked, probably. Get it? Ducked? I kill me. Ouch! Ugh! Argh! Argh! Ouch! (hot damage)

Miss Message(s):

It tries to light you on fire, but isn't twisted enough to be a firestarter.

It tries to breathe fire at you, but hiccups and almost explodes.

It starts to stomp you with its smoldering feet, but an attack of indecision cools its feet off.

It decides to show you some love instead of attacking, and fortunately the love doesn't become your funeral pyre.

Fumble Message:

It inhales deeply, preparing for another blast of fiery breath. Thinking quickly, you grab a nearby breath mint and toss it into the duck's open bill. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 120-180 Meat (average: 150, stdev: 12.65)*
Dtape.gifYou acquire an item: duct tape (5.9% chance)*
Hotfeather.gifYou acquire an item: flaming feather (10.7% chance)*
You gain 44-45 <substat>.

Occurs at McMillicancuddy's Back 40 and McMillicancuddy's Farm (Post-War).

References

  • The last line in the description refers to one of the menu pages on Homestar Runner, in which Strong Bad gets chased by one of the dragons from the Atari 2600 game Adventure (which bears an uncanny resemblance to some sort of duck) and shouts "Somebody get this freakin' duck away from me!"
  • One of the miss messages refers to the song 'Firestarter' by Prodigy. The lyrics are "I'm a firestarter, a twisted firestarter".
  • The miss message about a funeral pyre refers to the Doors song "Light My Fire": Try now, we can only lose / And our love become a funeral pyre
  • The miss message about hiccuping could refer to the swamp dragons in Terry Pratchett's Discworld series, who were prone to exploding after the slightest stomach upset.
  • The miss message about indecision refers to the idiom "to get cold feet."
  • The line in the description about the fire unlocking latent mutant powers refers to a classic superhero cliche, where a person's super powers are unlocked by a dangerous situation related to those powers (i.e. a man falling off a cliff discovers he can fly, a man caught in a burning building discovers he has the ability to manipulate fire).