Filthy hippy Vegan chef

Filthy hippy Vegan chef
Monster ID	55
Locations	The Hippy Camp
Hit Points	30
Attack	39
Defense	35
No-Hit	49
Initiative	70
Meat	None
Phylum	hippy
Elements	stench
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, arm, leg, torso
Drops double-barreled sling, filthy corduroys, filthy knitted dread sack, filthy pestle, patchouli incense stick, reodorant, tambourine bells, wad of tofu
Quest	Spanish fly
Bounty	greasy dreadlock
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a filthy hippy Vegan chef

This "chef" makes food for people who only eat raw fruits and vegetables. So basically he's just a salad-tosser.

Hit Message(s):

He pokes you right in the <arm> with a raw carrot. It really hurts, but at least you won't lose your night vision. Ow! Argh! (stench damage)

He pummels you with a barrage of raw horseradish. Man, wasabi with that? Ow! Ugh! (stench damage)

He gives you something to cry about -- a raw, sliced onion. Your vision blurred by tears, you stagger into a nearby tree. Eek! Argh!

He pelts you with tomatoes. They don't hurt much, but the radio wire embedded in them certainly does. Argh! Ow! (stench damage)

Critical Hit Message:

He takes a deep breath and exhales at you. He has the kind of breath you can only get by eating raw onion, horseradish, garlic, and asparagus. You black out for a few seconds and wake up woozy. Ow! Oof! Ow! (stench damage)

Miss Message(s):

He tries to poke you in the <knee> with a raw carrot, but you slice off the end before it penetrates you.

He tries to poke you in the <leg> with his salad-tossing fork, but you'll have none of that funny business.

He gives you something to cry about -- a raw, sliced onion. Fortunately, you counter with some spilled milk and manage not to cry.

He starts to pelt you with tomatoes, but can't decide how to pronounce it, and decides to call the whole thing off.

Fumble Message:

He starts to slice more onion-missiles to throw at you. You say, "Have you heard that vegetables actually scream when they're cut?" He stops chopping and breaks into tears. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: tambourine bells (9.9% chance)*

You acquire an item: wad of tofu (30.4% chance)*

You acquire an item: reodorant (4.8% chance)*

You acquire an item: filthy corduroys (2.2% chance)*

You acquire an item: filthy knitted dread sack (2.1% chance)*

You acquire an item: filthy pestle (5.2% chance)*

You acquire an item: patchouli incense stick (30.5% chance)*

You acquire an item: double-barreled sling (5% chance)*

• With a Spanish fly trap equipped.

You acquire an item: Spanish fly (25% chance)*

• If you are on the appropriate bounty hunt:

You acquire an item: greasy dreadlock (100% chance)*

You gain 8 <substat>.

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Occurs at The Hippy Camp.

References

• One of the miss texts is a reference to a verse from the song "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off" by George and Ira Gershwin, from the 1937 Fred Astaire/Ginger Rogers movie musical Shall We Dance?: "You like potato and I like potahto / You like tomato and I like tomahto / Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto / Let's call the whole thing off!"
• The hit message about tomatoes containing radio wire is likely a reference to the song "Two-Headed Boy Pt. 2" from Neutral Milk Hotel's 1998 album In the Aeroplane over the Sea, which contains the line, "She will feed you tomatoes and radio wire".
• The fumble message may reference the Arrogant Worms song "Carrot Juice Is Murder".
• If you don't know what a salad tosser is, don't look it up online. It is a sexual euphemism, and may or may not have been intentional on Jick's part.