Felonia, Queen of the Spooky Gravy Fairies

Felonia, Queen of the Spooky Gravy Fairies
Monster ID	266
Locations	The Spooky Gravy Burrow: On the Verge of a Dirge
Hit Points	80
Attack	75
Defense	67
No-Hit	70
Initiative	100
Meat	None
Phylum	plant
Elements	spooky
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	arm, head, stem, torso
Drops spooky bicycle chain, spooky cosmetics bag, miniature carton of clove cigarettes (if Spooky Gravy Fairy is active familiar)
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting Felonia, Queen of the Spooky Gravy Fairies

Seated languidly on a tall dais in the middle of this chamber is Felonia, Queen of the Spooky Gravy Fairies and second-place winner of the Kingdom of Loathing's Most Evil Hotness Competition.

"Well well well," she purrs, in a voice like oiled silk. "An overlander in my domain. No doubt you've come to foil my plans to destroy Degrassi Knoll."

She rises smoothly from her throne. She's tall for a fairy -- six feet if she's an inch, and most of it stem. As she strides down the steps toward you, wisps of her dress waft in the breeze like tendrils of black smoke.

She smiles at you, then rears back and violently smashes her forehead into the bridge of your nose.

Huh -- you hadn't expected her to be a brawler.

Hit Message(s):

Queen Felonia hisses, "Stitch this!" and slashes you in the <eye> with a broken whiskey bottle. Oof! Ouch! Oof! Argh! (spooky damage)

Queen Felonia breaks a pool cue over her knee and bludgeons you with the heavy end. Ouch! Ow! Oof! Eek! (spooky damage)

Queen Felonia maliciously knees you in the reproductive organs. Ugh! Ouch! Argh! Eek! (spooky damage)

Critical Hit Message:

Queen Felonia smashes you in the face with a glass beer mug, and laughs raucously. Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ugh! (spooky damage)

Miss Message(s):

You dive out of the way as Queen Felonia tries to smash a barstool over your <arse>.

Queen Felonia gets you in a choke-hold, but you elbow her in the <neck> and slip out of her grasp.

Queen Felonia looks around for a window to throw you through, then remembers she lives in an underground cavern.

Fumble Message:

Queen Felonia takes a wild swing at you, but totally misses. Patrick Swayze she ain't. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: spooky bicycle chain (100% chance)*

You acquire an item: spooky cosmetics bag (100% chance)*

• If you have a Spooky Gravy Fairy equipped:

You acquire an item: miniature carton of clove cigarettes (100% chance)*

You gain 15 <substat>.

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Occurs at The Spooky Gravy Burrow.

Notes

• Once you have defeated Felonia, this adventure will no longer occur (becomes a one time adventure).
• This monster cannot be copied.

References

• The fumble message may refer to the movie To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar, in which Patrick Swayze plays a drag queen that fights well. Alternatively, it may refer to the movie Roadhouse, in which Swayze plays a barroom bouncer.
• Felonia's title may refer to Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, a cult-favorite movie featuring drag queens.
• Being "second-place winner of the Kingdom of Loathing's Most Evil Hotness Competition" is likely due to her losing to The Naughty Sorceress.