Evil trumpet-playing mariachi

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Evil trumpet-playing mariachi
Monster ID 663
Locations A Large Chamber
Hit Points 18
Attack 21
Defense 18
Initiative 20
Meat None
Phylum dude
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
Drops
None
Quest a creased paper strip, a crinkled paper strip, a crumpled paper strip, a folded paper strip, a ripped paper strip, a rumpled paper strip, a torn paper strip
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
evil trumpet-playing mariachi You're fighting an evil trumpet-playing mariachi

This is an evil mariachi armed with a trumpet. Not a cool muted jazz trumpet, but a brassy, brazen, blast-your-brain-out-your-ears sort of trumpet. And that's exactly what he intends to do with it.

And failing that, he'll just pummel you with it.

Hit Message(s):

He beats the hell out of you with his trumpet, and then plays "Taps". Eek! Ugh!

He empties his spit valve on you. Guess what it's full of! Oof! Ugh! (sleaze damage)

He hits a high C on his trumpet. Your heart of glass shatters. Man, what a pain in the ass. Argh! Oof!

He hits you with his trumpet, gets angry at you for denting it, and hits you with it again. Ugh! Ouch!

He shoves his trumpet where the sun don't shine. Then he pulls it out of the shady nook he found and beats you with it. Eek! Ow!

He shoves the trumpet somewhere that we can't discuss in a family game. Let's hope he washes it afterward. Ow! Ugh!

Critical Hit Message:

He makes a pretty good attempt at blasting your brain out your ears, as advertised. Eek! Ugh!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to empty his spit valve on you, but it's already empty. He'll have to do another spit take later.

He tries to hit a high C on his trumpet, but fails and takes a few minutes to work on his chops.

He starts to swing his trumpet at you, but pauses to consider whether using his instrument as a bludgeon might be a bad idea.

He trumpets his accomplishments loudly. Good for him.

He swings his trumpet at you, but you back out of the way. Now he wishes he'd been a trombonist instead.

He tries to shove his trumpet where the sun don't shine, but you insist all of your orifices get equal sun exposure.

Fumble Message:

He starts to attack you, but has to stop to empty his spit valve. Ewww. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Paperstrip.gifYou acquire an item: a creased paper strip (30% chance)*
Paperstrip.gifYou acquire an item: a crumpled paper strip (30% chance)*
Paperstrip.gifYou acquire an item: a crinkled paper strip (30% chance)*
Paperstrip.gifYou acquire an item: a folded paper strip (30 chance)*
Paperstrip.gifYou acquire an item: a ragged paper strip (30% chance)*
Paperstrip.gifYou acquire an item: a ripped paper strip (30% chance)*
Paperstrip.gifYou acquire an item: a rumpled paper strip (30% chance)*
Paperstrip.gifYou acquire an item: a torn paper strip (30% chance)*
You gain 5 <substat>.

Occurs in A Large Chamber.