Evil spaghetti cult zealot

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Evil spaghetti cult zealot
Monster ID 868
Locations The Nemesis' Lair (Pastamancer)
Hit Points 210
Attack 160
Defense 144
Initiative 75
Meat None
Phylum dude
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
evil spaghetti cult zealot You're fighting an evil spaghetti cult zealot

One of the cultists rushes at you with a long dagger. "Heretic! Blasphemer! Destroy him/her for the glory of the Noodly One!"

You briefly consider attempting to engage him in a theological discussion and maybe dissuade him from such a violently fundamentalist outlook, but decide that you're not likely to be very persuasive with a knife in your eye.

Hit Message(s):

He demands you respect his religious beliefs. Since his beliefs include "all adventurers should be stabbed in the face," it's hard to comply. Oof! Ouch! Ow!

He stabs you in the knee with his sacrificial knife. Man, that wasn't knice.Ugh! Ooh! Eek!

He stabs you with his steely knife. You wish he would have used a steely dan, instead. Argh! Ouch! Ugh!

He rips your still-beating heart from your chest. He puts it back, but it still hurts pretty bad. Eek! Oof! Ow!

Critical Hit Message:

He rips your heart out of your stomach. It's not exactly the quickest way to a man's heart, but it's surprisingly painful.Eek! Ugh! Ow!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to stab you with his steely knife, but he just can't kill the beast.

He rips your still-beating heart from your chest, but then cleans out your arteries and puts it back in.

He argues that his religious beliefs aren't sufficiently respected, and that you should open your mind to the possibility that you deserve to be stabbed in the face.

He stops to chant a dire incantation. It's a little unnerving, but not that bad.

Fumble Message:

He demands that you stop being intolerant about his religious beliefs, and just allow him to rip your heart out of your chest and make you eat it. You're so closed-minded that you won't let him do it. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

You gain 40 <substat>.

Occurs at The Nemesis' Lair.


  • The critical message references the saying that "the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach."
  • The miss message about a steely knife references the song Hotel California by the Eagles.
  • A "steely dan" is a likely a dildo, the band Steely Dan took their name from one named such in The Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs.