Evil ex-girlfriend
| Evil ex-girlfriend | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 970 |
| Locations | Any location, with a Mini-Hipster familiar |
| Hit Points | 75% of player's muscle |
| Attack | Moxie (cap at 10 000) |
| Defense | Muscle (cap at 10 000) |
| Initiative | 0 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | dude |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | arm, head, legs, torso |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
 |
You're fighting an evil ex-girlfriend |
A skinny woman in an over-sized sweater and short shorts blocks your way.
She shouts, "<Familiar Name>, I can't believe you broke up with me, just because I broke up with you to date a couple of girls when bisexuality was trendy! Why can't we date until bisexuality goes from 'too popular' to 'ironically, nostalgically cool?'"
You try to step away from the crazy lady, but she somehow pulls a giant spoon out of her tiny jogging shorts and attacks.
ROUND ONE: FIGHT!
Hit Message(s):
She swings her spoon at <Familiar Name>, but hits you in the <shins> with it instead. Ooh! Eek! Eek! Eek! Ugh! Ouch!
She picks <Familiar Name> up with the power of her mind, and throws him into you. Woah, she must be a vegan or something! Eek! Ugh! Argh! Ugh! Argh! Ouch!
She tries to punch <Familiar Name>, but hits you instead. A gold coin flies out of your head as the blow lands. Well, that was random. Argh! Ooh! Oof! Ugh! Ow! Eek!
Her head starts to glow, and then she vanishes for a second. She reappears behind you and punches you in the <thigh>. What was that all about? Oof! Oof! Ooh! Eek! Argh! Oof!
She aims a flying kick at <Familiar Name>, but it hits you instead. If only it had been a flying something else. Ooh! Eek! Ooh! Oof! Ooh! Ugh!
She swings her spoon, but misses both you and <Familiar Name>. Looks like 'spoon' is a lousy battle cry, after all.
She tries to pick <Familiar Name> up with the power of her mind, but gets her vegan mind powers revoked for eating gelato.
Her head starts to glow, and then she just totally vanishes. Woah! What was that all about?
not known
 | You acquire an item: ironic battle spoon |
Occurs anywhere, with Mini-Hipster equipped (sometimes)
References
- The Evil Ex-Girlfriend is a fusion of multiple characters from Scott Pilgrim. Knives Chau is her basic appearance and name, and then a string of other characters for the bisexuality refs, vegan telekinesis and glowing teleportation attacks.
- "Spoooooon!" is the battle cry of comic book and cartoon hero The Tick.
