Et Tu, Buff Jimmy?
You see a muscular Brogre lounging on a hammock, sipping a frozen drink full of juicy fruit through a long flexible straw. He nods in your direction, expending the minimum amount of energy to greet you. "The name's Buff Jimmy," he says, "I run the souvenir shop here on Spring Break Beach. How's it hangin'?"
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Hangin' Just Fine, Thanks
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Hey there, dude. Or lady-dude. Whatever. I try not to get too wrapped up in labels, y'know? I figure you have to roll with changes in latitudes, and attitudes, and genders. Anyway, I wonder if you could help me out.
Message before The Fun-Guy Mansion quest has been accepted:
- I was hanging out at the Fun Guy Mansion, and I started making some time with a mushroom lady, a real beauty -- pencil thin, she was. But when I woke up later, naked on the beach with a sunburn, I realized I must have left my stash of relaxing skinny mushrooms with that skinny mushroom lady! Do you think you can find my pencil-thin mush stash?
Message before the Sloppy Seconds Diner has been accepted:
- So the other night, I had this crazy dream. I was out on the ocean in a little boat, and a volcano blew up and sent this tidal wave that washed me ashore on a tropical island. It was paradise. I met this groovy naked guy who cooked me the best cheeseburger I've ever tasted. I woke up and I jotted down all the ingredients I'd need to make it. They're all in the Diner, and I'd go myself, but I blew out my flip-flop and cut my heel, so I should probably just rest in the hammock. Think you can get the ingredients for me?
Message before The Sunken Party Yacht quest has been accepted:
- Okay, so I was having a few boat drinks on the Party Yacht when it sank, and I just barely escaped with my life. I lost a ton of beads down there, but that's okay; I can always get more. But I also lost my shaker of salt--who knows, maybe one of the wild girls stole it, or maybe I have no one to blame but myself. It was probably those sons of sons of sailors who took it, now that I think about it. Never trusted those guys. I'd appreciate it if you'd go down there and look for it.
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I can help get your stash
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So you're ready to head in to the Fun Guy Mansion and retrace my steps? You ready to get into my headspace?
All right! Cool. Just keep your eye out for skinny mushroom girls at the Fun Guy Mansion. Check back when you're done, and then we'll get drunk and...uh...get more drunk.
- While stash quest is underway:
Hey, have you found my stash of medicinal herbs yet? Remember, some skinny mushroom lady took it at the Fun Guy Mansion.
All right! You know I've got a prescription for this stuff, right? It cures my anxiety, my depression, and my ambition.
I can't thank you enough. Because that'd be too much work. But here's a few Beach Bucks as a token of my changes in gratitude.
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I can help you make your burger
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So you're ready to hit the Diner and gather the ingredients for my Paradise Cheeseburger?
Thanks a million. Once you're finished, just head back here. I'll be here. I'm not really into moving out of this hammock, y'know?
- While the burger quest is underway:
Have you found all the ingredients for my Paradise Cheeseburger yet? I can practically taste it already! Remember, you can find all that stuff at the Diner.
All right! I hope this cheeseburger is everything I dreamed it would be. I'm not too particular, and not too precise, but I think this is exactly what the doctor ordered. The cheeseburger doctor.
I'd give you a hug, but that seems like a little too much effort for a dude on his sixth margarita of the day. So I'll just give you some Beach Bucks instead.
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I can help with your saltshaker
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Are you ready to head into the Sunken Party Yacht and find my lost shaker of salt? Or, y'know, any salt you find down there oughta do just fine.
All right! Great. Those sons of sons of sailors are the ones you want to keep an eye out for.
- While salt quest is underway:
I don't suppose you've found some salt for me, have you? I've been drinking margaritas with sugar on the rim, and it's just not right. The salt's probably on one of those sons of sons of sailors down in the Party Yacht.
Hey, that's it! That's all the salt I need to salt the rims of my margarita glasses. I hope those salty old salts down there didn't trouble you too much.
I'd like to shake your hand, but that seems like too much work. So here's some Beach Bucks instead. I really appreciate the help.
Notes
References
- Buff Jimmy and his quests are an homage to Jimmy Buffet and many of his songs.
