Elpízo & Crosybdis

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Elpízo & Crosybdis
Monster ID 1582
Locations The Road to the White Citadel
Hit Points 45
Attack 38
Defense 36
Initiative 30
Meat None
Phylum beast
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts body, head, mouth
Drops
glass of bourbon
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Elpízo & Crosybdis You're fighting Elpízo & Crosybdis

As you approach the end of the road to the White Citadel, a mighty roar shakes the forest! You barely have time to ready your weapon before a gigantic hydra-like monster storms out of the trees, its many long necks writhing and spitting atop the huge scaly bulk of its body. You prepare to attack the hideous creature, but are interrupted by a loud, crooning howl behind you as a second monster appears on the opposite side of the road -- this one thinner and snakelike, but with several wailing fanged mouths.

Looks like you're caught between a rock and a hard place, so to speak.

Hit Message(s):

Crosybdis's roar hits a deep bass note, and your internal organs start to liquify from the vibration. Ow! Ugh!

Crosybdis howls at you -- it's really amazing how loud it is, even after your eardrums explode. Ow! Oof!

Elpízo's many barb-like heads jab and thrust, rapier-like, at gaps in your defense, targeting your most vulnerable points. Oof! Ugh!

Elpízo, rather unexpectedly, pulls a golf club out of somewhere and pummels you viciously with it. Eek! Ow!

Elpízo sneaks past your defenses with impeccable timing; one of its heads smirks at you while another one bites you on the <ankle>. Ugh! Argh!

Crosybdis's howling mouths harmonize and reverberate in a vicious sonic assault. Ooh! Eek!

Critical Hit Message:

The two monsters suddenly break off the fight to play an impromptu game of pattycake. You watch for a moment, puzzled, until the game ends with a surprise assault on your face. Ooh! Argh!

Miss Message(s):

Crosybdis's hits a deep bass note, but you've had worse from standing too near the speakers in clubs.

Crosybdis howls at you, but it's the kind of attack your grandpa defended against, and you prefer something a bit more modern.

Elpízo's heads jab at you, but your interrupting parries throw off their timing.

Elpízo tries to hit your <calf> with a golf club, but you refuse to be hit by any club that would have you as... wait, that's the wrong reference.

Elpízo tries to stab at your defenses, but you throw him off by not being defensive.

You resist Crosybdis's sonic assault by jamming your fingers in your ears.

Fumble Message:

The two creatures get in the way of each others' attacks, and bicker for a moment. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

With the monsters defeated, you've finally reached the end of the road -- not in a grim memento mori sense, but in a literal sense -- the road to the White Citadel literally runs directly there, and stops at the parking lot.

Man, you really could have saved a hell of a lot of time if you'd listened to those two guys in sunglasses way back at the beginning of all this. Oh well, like the fella said: in the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should.

Rocks.gifYou acquire an item: glass of bourbon (% chance)*

Occurs at The Road to the White Citadel.

Notes

  • This monster cannot be copied.
  • This monster counts as a group (of size 2). It takes manifold damage from area-of-effect skills such as Wave of Sauce.

References

  • The original "rock and a hard place" were Scylla and Charybdis .
  • "Elpízo & Crosybdis", with the deep voice and love of pattycake, are Bob Hope and Bing Crosby, stars of the Road to … series of movies. "Elpízo" means "I hope" in Greek.
  • The "wrong reference" attack message is a joke on a telegram Groucho Marx sent to refuse membership in the Friar's Club of Beverly Hills. Different sources quote the line slightly differently, but the most common variation is "I refuse to join any club that would accept people like me as members." (To be fair, Groucho didn't invent that joke, he's merely the most famous person to use it.)