EXtreme Orcish snowboarder

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EXtreme Orcish snowboarder
Monster ID 1155
Locations The eXtreme Slope
Hit Points 65
Attack 74
Defense 66
No-Hit 84
Initiative 60
Meat 32-48
Phylum orc
Elements sleaze
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
Drops
eXtreme Bi-Polar Fleece Vest, Mountain Stream soda, snowboarder pants
Bounty spent handwarmer
Pickpocket enchanted handwarmer
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
eXtreme Orcish snowboarder You're fighting an eXtreme Orcish snowboarder

This is an Orcish frat boy who spends all of his time snowboarding. Instead of going to class. Or being nice.

Hit Message(s):

He snowboards past and chucks a can of cheap beer at your <shoulder>. Ow! Ouch! (sleaze damage)

He snowboards past and whacks you with a frat-paddle. It hurts on so many levels. Argh! Ugh! Argh! (sleaze damage)

He looks for something to break, and finds your <ankle>. Oof! Ow!

He drunkenly snowboards past and vomits on you. Acidic! Oof! Eek! Ugh! (sleaze damage)

Critical Hit Message:

He snowboards toward you, hits a ramp, does a 540-degree Twisty McChicken Basalt Thundertuck, and smacks you in the head with his board. Man, what a jerk. Ooh! Ugh! Ow! Ooh! (sleaze damage)

Miss Message(s):

He chucks a can of cheap beer at you, but you dodge.

He tries to frat-paddle you mid-snowboard, but collapses under the weight of too many hyphens.

He shouts "Give me something to break!", then falls over and breaks his arm.

He swerves toward you, but changing directions makes him fall over and he tumbles past you.

Fumble Message:

He swoops down the mountain toward you, but is pulled over by the Snowboard Police. He has to wait while they cite him for a broken taillight and a lack of knees. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 32-48 Meat (average: 40, stdev: 3.65)*
Darkvest.gifYou acquire an item: eXtreme Bi-Polar Fleece Vest (5.1% chance)*
Soda.gifYou acquire an item: Mountain Stream soda (28.9% chance)*
Snowpants.gifYou acquire an item: snowboarder pants (11.0% chance)*
Handwarmer.gifYou acquire a bounty item: spent handwarmer
(X of 13 found)
You gain 18-19 <substat>.

Occurs at The eXtreme Slope.

Notes

References

  • "Give me something to break" may be from the lyrics to the Limp Bizkit song "Break Stuff."
  • Fumble message about being "pulled over by the Snowboard Police ... for broken taillights and lack of knees" is from one of Eddie Izzard's stand up routines.