Dusken Raider Ghost
|Dusken Raider Ghost|
|Monster Parts||head, arm, leg, torso|
A female ghost glides up to you and glares at you, biting her lower lip with oversized front teeth. "So, which faction are you? Do you worship false gods like The Professor or Duke Starkiller? Or do you believe that Jared the Duskwalker is not only the most dreamy, the shiniest, the sexiest vampire, but he's also the Hero of the Peak?"
"Um, sure, Jared's great," you say.
"HE'S MINE! YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!" the ghost screams, swooping at you.
A pale female ghost rises from a grave in front of you. She rocks back and forth, darting her eyes nervously from left to right and back, chewing on her bottom lip all the while.
"Um, can I help you?" you ask.
"My beloved! Where is my beloved? He has to tell me what to do or I won't even remember to breathe!"
"Is that -- is that how you died? You forgot to breathe? you ask.
"You don't understand . . . Jared's my world, my everything, my vampire soulmate."
"Vampires don't have souls," you point out, which enrages the ghost. Without changing facial expression, she attacks!
A pale female ghost rises from a grave and looks through you with glassy eyes, biting her lower lip with huge front teeth. "You're . . . I . . . " she says, heavy pauses weighing down the conversation, "Jared the Duskwalker. I . . . do you . . ."
"Look, you're going to have to speed it up a little," you say, which seems to make her angry.
The ground beneath you trembles and a pale, thin female ghost rises up from a tombstone to stare at you, brooding. You wait for her to speak . . . and wait, and wait, and wait some more. Finally, she mumbles "do you think Jared the Duskwalker is the true Hero of the Peak?"
"What?" you ask, and she repeats herself a little louder. "Oh. Well, I don't really know," you say.
"What's your faction, then?" she shrieks, twitching and gulping like she's about to cough up a hairball. "Duke Starkiller? Gary Claybender? The Professor? Captain Kerkard? I mean, honestly, who would you rather have watch you while you sleep?"
Before you can say, "no one, really," she swoops at you, shrieking.
You feel a prickling on the back of your neck and turn to see a female ghost behind you, watching you silently. She flashes her huge front teeth in a nervous, rodent-like grin, then stares at you glassy-eyed, twitching and gulping like she's about to throw up.
"Are you okay?" you ask.
"Of course I am," she snaps, "I'm in love with Jared the Duskwalker! And he's in love with me! I can tell because he's always telling me to stay away from him or he'll hurt me!"
"Uh, he sounds great," you say, rolling your eyes.
"GREAT?" the ghost shrieks, "HE IS MY EVERYTHING!"
She swoops at you, shrieking. Your eardrums do a complicated and painful dance of revulsion. Ouch! Ouch!
She claws you in the <arm> with her nasty chewed-up nails. Ouch! Ouch!
She bites you in the <skull> and tries to suck your blood. Argh! Oof!
She calls over her werewolf friend, who takes his shirt off, turns into a giant talking dog, and slobbers all over you. Ick! Eek! Ow! (sleaze damage)
She calls over a whole basketball team of Duskwalkers. They play a rousing game of H-O-R-S-E, using your <solar plexus> as the ball. It's the dribbling that's the worst part, really. Eek! Eek! Argh!
She shrieks at you, but you stick your fingers in your ears and go "la, la, la."
She tries to claw you in the <groin>, but has already nervously chewed her fingernails to nubbins.
She tries to suck your blood, but you point out that Duskwalkers swap spit instead of sucking blood.
She calls over her werewolf friend, but he's more interested in taking his shirt off and threatening her than attacking you.
She sits and stares into space, rocking back and forth, occasionally twitching a little, her huge front teeth gnawing at her upper lip. She looks like a rabbit in a coma. (FUMBLE!)
|You acquire an item: Duskwalker fangs (5% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: Duskwalker syringe (15% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: A-Boo clue (15% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: ectoplasmic orbs (10% chance)*|
|You gain 20 (?) <substat>.|
- Like all the mentions of Duskwalkers in the zone, this monster's a reference to the Twilight series.
- Biting her lower lip, speaking with heavy pauses, rocking back and forth, and other odd mannerisms are all references to the peculiar acting of Kristen Stewart, who portrayed the protagonist, Bella, in the Twilight films.
- Jared, the shiny, sexy vampire, is a reference to Edward Cullen, the vampire antihero.
- The werewolf friend more interested in going shirtless than attacking clearly refers to the character Jacob Black, a werewolf who indeed spends much of the films shirtless.
- The basketball team of Duskwalkers could refer to the impromptu baseball game played by the vampires in the first Twilight book.
- "Dusken Raider" is also a reference to the Tusken Raiders of the Star Wars universe.