Drunken rat

Drunken rat
Monster ID	51
Locations	Tavern Cellar
Hit Points	8
Attack	10
Defense	9
No-Hit	20
Initiative	60
Meat	8-12
Phylum	beast
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, leg, tail, torso
Drops rat appendix, furry pill
Quest	rat whisker
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a drunken rat

As you're poking around in the dark of the cellar, you hear a squeak. You turn toward it, and before you stands a drunken rat. It's also a dirty rat, and pretty smelly. You know that idiom "I think I smell a rat?" There's a reason for it.

Hit Message(s):

It staggers over and drunkenly punches you in the <ear>. Then vomits on your shoes. Ugh! Ouch!

It grabs a nearby microphone and engages in some drunken rodent karaoke. The pain! Ugh! Ouch!

It traps you into an hour-long debate against artificial turf. Midway through, you fall asleep and hit your head on the floor. Oof! Ugh!

It jumps into a tiny plastic bitchin' meatcar and drives drunkenly around the room before crashing into your toes. Eek! Eek!

Critical Hit Message:

It takes another swig of booze and performs an impressive drunken-master karate routine. Impressive in that he impresses his feet and claws repeatedly onto your foot. Eek! Ooh!

Miss Message(s):

It staggers over, puts its arm around you, and squeaks the rat equivalent of "I love you, man."

It tries to sing some drunken rodent karaoke, but passes out before it can start.

It traps you into an hour-long debate against artificial turf. Fortunately, it falls asleep midway through.

It jumps into a tiny plastic bitchin' meatcar and tries to run you over, but swerves too much to hit you.

Fumble Message:

It leaps up, swigs some more booze, and performs an impressive drunken-master karate routine. Well, it would have been impressive had he been actually facing you. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You gain 8-12 Meat (average: 10, stdev: 1.15)*

You acquire an item: rat whisker (100.0% chance)*

You acquire an item: rat appendix (19.5% chance)*

You acquire an item: furry pill (10% chance)*

You gain 2.25 <substat>.

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Occurs in the Tavern Cellar and at A Rat Faucet.

References

• The hour-long debate against artificial turf comes from a Larry Miller stand-up comedy routine called "The 5 Stages of Drinking". It is at stage three when you engage a stranger in an hour long argument against artificial turf.
• The critical hit/fumble messages mention "an impressive drunken-master karate routine", alluding to drunken boxing, a form of martial art.
• The "tiny plastic bitchin' meatcar" may be a reference to The Mouse and the Motorcycle.