|Locations||The Cave Before Time|
|Hit Points||75% of Defense|
|Attack||Player's Moxie+3 (min 5)|
|Defense||Player's Muscle+3 (min 5)|
This creature is the forebear of the insufferable trolls you encounter in the Kingdom and in that other realm laughingly known as "real life." It actually has a more highly evolved wit than modern trolls; rather than lob poorly-spelled insults at people, it prefers gentle put-downs that have more to do with wordplay than trying to make people feel bad.
Scientists of Loathing have begun a campaign to fund research to re-evolve trolls back into drolls -- thus far, they've raised approximately 11 billion meat.
It asks if you'd like a Hertz Donut. You nod, and it punches you in the arm and says, "hurts, don't it?" Oof! Ugh! Ooh!
It says, "I'm giving away my old batteries, free of charge." It takes a minute for the joke to hit, but when it does, it hurts. Ouch! Oof! Ouch!
It says, "some people have a face that could stop a clock. Yours could stop a sundial!" Ouch! Your feelings! Ouch! Argh! Ouch!
It hits your bare <giblets> so hard you can't bear it. Get it? Argh! Argh! Oof!
It says, "does your face hurt? Because it's killin' me!" and hits you in the face. Ouch! Ooh! Ugh!
It says, "sorry about the weight." You say, "oh, I haven't been waiting long," and it says, "no, no, I mean, you're really fat. Get it?" You remain nonplussed, so it kicks your teeth in. Oof! Ugh! Argh!
It asks if you'd like a Hertz Donut, but you decline.
It starts to hit your bare arms, then makes a joke about the right to bear arms.
It says, "your face could stop a clock!" You're not sure if that's an insult or not.
It asks if your face hurts, but you say it doesn't.
It says, "I'm giving away my old batteries, free of charge." You chuckle.
It stops to brush up on some new material before it attacks again. (FUMBLE!)
|You acquire an item: D roll (20% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: droll monocle|
Occurs at The Cave Before Time.