Dr. Aquard

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Dr. Aquard
Monster ID 1608
Locations Dr. Awkward's Office
Hit Points 260
Attack 180
Defense 165
Initiative 0
Meat None
Phylum dude
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts arm, body, head, leg
dumb mud, Sogg-Os
Quest Staff of Fats
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Dr. Aquard You're fighting Dr. Aquard

Before Dr. Awkward can leap at you, a huge wave sweeps through the Palindome (probably an eva wave) and into the office, bowling Dr. Awkward over and washing him away. Nothing's left of him but those weird round spectacles, floating in a hip-deep puddle.

You watch, astonished, as the water forms itself into the shape of Dr. Awkward, right down to the watery hat, and finishes off by placing the Dr.'s spectacles on its ill-defined nose.

"The Rain King is tired of your attempts to thwart him," the figure says. "Dr. Awkward wasn't going to get the job done, but I am. I'm Dr. Aquard."

"Er, so you have the same name?" you ask.

"No, no, no...mine is 'A-Q-U-A-R-D,'" he says.

"Shouldn't you be 'Dr. Auquard,' then, given where we're fighting?

"Oh, shut up and die," he grumbles.

Hit Message(s):

He pokes you with a surprisingly sharp watery sword. Ooh! Eek! Ugh! Oof! Ouch!

He pulls out a water pistol and fires a stream at you hard enough to bruise your skin. Ooh! Ouch! Eek! Ugh!

He smacks you with a watery fist. It's like a very small, localized wave. Ooh! Oof! Eek! Ow!

He sticks two watery fingers up your nose, making you cough and splutter. Ooh! Oof! Oof! Ooh! Ow!

He whacks you with the Staff of Fats. It stings extra hard because it's sopping wet. Oof! Argh! Ugh! Ouch!

Critical Hit Message:

He hisses, "Won't I panic in a pit now? Meet animals! Laminate 'em!" and pummels you with his watery fists until you're both bruised and your fingertips are all pruney. Argh! Argh! Ooh! Ow!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to stick his watery fingers up your nose, but you're saved by a well-timed sneeze.

He throws his bowler hat at you, but as it gets further from him it loses its cohesiveness until it dissolves into spray.

Fumble Message:

not known

After Combat

Gooball.gifYou acquire an item: dumb mud (% chance)*
Soupbowl.gifYou acquire an item: Sogg-Os (% chance)*
Poolcue.gifYou acquire an item: Staff of Fats (100% chance)*

Occurs in Dr. Awkward's Office with the Mega Gem equipped in a Heavy Rains run.


  • Damage dealt by Spells is reduced to 1.
  • Damage dealt to Dr. Aquard has a hard cap of 39 damage per source and round. However multiple sources of damage are capped individually, allowing for higher damage to be dealt per round.