Double Trouble in the Stubble
You once again find yourself on your own left leg, trying yet again not to break your brain pondering the recursive weirdness inherent in the whole arrangement.
This leg, though, is neither the hirsute jungle you first visited, nor the smooth desert you saw on your second visit. Now it's an endless field of stubble, populated by post-apocalyptic scabies. They've spent countless generations surviving a hardscrabble existence among the stubble, and that time has hardened and embittered them.
A scabie wearing a studded leather jacket and a mohawk spots you. "Can it be?" the scabie says. "The legends are true! This is the Bringer of the Time of Desolation! He's the one that destroyed our civilization! What a total toolbox!"
You're rapidly surrounded by a mob of punk scabies, all intent on spilling your blood all over your leg, where they live. Man, I still can't get my head all the way around this.
| Face the punk scabie mob |
You flex your muscles and prepare for the fight of your life. You fight valiantly, but you're starting to be overwhelmed by their numbers.
Suddenly, your own giant hand comes down on your giant leg and scratches furiously, decimating the scabies' ranks. "Thanks, me!" you shout. Your giant hand gives you a thumbs-up that leaves you bursting with pride.
| You gain 50-60? Fortitude. You gain 51-58? Mysteriousness. You gain 52-59? Cheek. |
If The Legendary Beat not already acquired:
| Dig your way to safety |
- Without a can-you-dig-it? equipped:
You crouch on your leg and scrabble frantically with your fingernails, trying to get into your own leg to hide. You can't break the surface of your skin, though, and the scabies beat the snot out of you, and the crap out of you, and the crap out of your snot. Which... eww.
 | You lose 6,176 hit points. |
- With a can-you-dig-it? equipped:
You dig with your can-you-dig-it, ignoring the twinges of pain in your tiny leg as you excavate your giant leg. A few layers of epidermis down, your spade strikes something hard, with a syncopated *thwunk-thwunk.* You pull out a little black box with a red button on the top.
You push the button, there on the stubblefield, and Good Old Clyde's legendary beat fills the air, making all the scabies pop and lock and do headspins instead of attacking you.
You hold onto the box as the Small-o-fier reverses, leaving you holding that legendary beat. Whew!
 | You acquire an item: The Legendary Beat |
Occurs at Professor Jacking's Small-O-Fier, with Stubbly Legs.
Notes
- Once you have obtained The Legendary Beat, the second option is not shown.
