Dolores D. Smiley
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|Dolores D. Smiley|
|Locations||The Glacier of Jerks|
|Hit Points||75% of Monster Defense|
|Attack||Player's Moxie+2 (min 10, max 150)|
|Defense||Player's Muscle+2 (min 10, max 150)|
|Monster Parts||arm, head, torso|
You know that one person who's always so perky,
Who thinks that she's really adorably quirky?
Well, that's what you get with Dolores D. Smiley.
She spit out catchphrases and did it un-shyly.
"Working hard? Hardly working? Work smarter, not harder!
"Hang in there!" she'd say, with unlimited ardor.
"Well, it looks like someone's got a case of the Mondays!"
She'd say, in what she must have thought was a fun way.
So she was imprisoned in ice when she died.
"Is it cold enough for ya?" she says, smiling wide.
Her phone rings, she answers. You listen and sigh,
She keeps saying "'kay now," and she ends with "buh-bye."
She says, "T.G.I.F!" as she smiles and she beams,
You'd happily rip her apart at the seams.
She hands you a stress ball that's yellow and black,
You blink at it blankly and then hand it back.
She hands you a memo. You read it and yawn,
Then you light it on fire and bid it begone.
She leaves you a note that's in Comic Sans font,
You laugh at her loudly! You laugh and you taunt!
|You acquire an item: dangerous jerkcicle|
|You acquire an item: dangerous jerkcicle (??% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: desktop zen garden (1% chance)*|
Occurs at The Glacier of Jerks.