Defowl the Farm

Description

Defowling the Farm An optional sidequest in the Mysterious Island Quest that helps with the destruction of Hippies/Frat Boys. Farmer McMillicancuddy needs your help ridding his farm of a giant duck infestation. This quest is initially available while wearing the War Hippy Fatigues. It becomes available while wearing the Frat Warrior Fatigues after 458 Hippies have been killed.

Tasks

• Talk to Farmer McMillicancuddy in war fatigues and he will ask you to help eradicate the ducks invading his farm.
• Head over to the Barn to start fighting generic ducks.
• After a few ducks, you will find yourself cornered by ducks. Kind of. From here, you can...
  • Grab the pitchfork and wave it around. Some ducks will head to the Granary, where you can now adventure to fight rotund ducks.
  • Bang on the cowbell. Some ducks will head to the Bog, where you can now adventure to fight stench ducks.
  • Make a fence out of the barbed wire. Some ducks will head to the Pond, where you can now adventure to fight cold ducks.
• Keep adventuring in The Barn and you'll wind up cornered again. In this corner, you can...
  • Knock over the lantern. Some ducks will head to the Back 40, where you can now adventure to fight hot ducks.
  • Try to catch them in the beartrap. Some ducks will head to the Family Plot, where you can now adventure to fight spooky ducks.
• Keep adventuring in The Barn and you'll wind up cornered once again. From here, you can...
  • Grab the shotgun and start firing. Some ducks will head over to the Shady Thicket, where you can now adventure to fight drunk ducks.
  • Dump out the drum. Some ducks will head over to the Other Back 40, where you can now adventure to fight sleaze ducks.
• Note: As you can only send ducks to three different locations, you can't explore all of McMillicancuddy's Farm in one ascension.
• After being cornered for the third time, you will have cleared all of the ducks out of the barn.
• Note: Non-combat modifiers will NOT speed this up; the 3 non-combats are spread over 10 adventures.
• Next, go to the three areas the ducks have wandered to. After killing ten ducks, an area will be cleared out.
• Once the farm is duck-free, go back to McMillicancuddy's Farmhouse and talk to him. He will thank you and help the army as which you finished the quest.

Rewards

• If this sidequest is completed in War Hippy Fatigues, all Hippy Army MPEs will contain blocks of megatofu. For the duration of the war, you can visit the farm once per day in Hippy Fatigues and get 3 free blocks of megatofu. Additionally, you can return to the farm once the war is over to fight up to 10 ducks a day.
• If this sidequest is completed in Frat Warrior Fatigues, all Frat Army FGFs will contain bottles of McMillicancuddy's Special Lager. For the duration of the war, you can visit the farm once per day in Frat Fatigues and get 3 free bottles of McMillicancuddy's Special Lager. Additionally, you can return to the farm once the war is over to fight up to 15 ducks a day.
• In both cases, the limit is the number of ducks defeated. If you run away from the duck, it does not count towards the day's total.

Notes

• The farm can initially only be accessed while wearing the War Hippy Fatigues.
• It becomes available while wearing the Frat Warrior Fatigues after 458 Hippies have been killed.
• There is a shortcut in the barn to reduce the number of ducks in each area to five:
  • First, use a chaos butterfly in combat. You can use the chaos butterfly anywhere any time before you dump out the drum; you do not have to use it in the Farm, nor do you have to wait until this quest is available. It doesn't count if you use it from your inventory, though.
  • Next, make a fence out of the barbed wire (choice #3) when you are cornered. If you have not yet used a chaos butterfly you may still choose this option and use a chaos butterfly before the next step to complete the shortcut. (Note: The Wednesday/Sneakisol effect from Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper will not work to speed these 3 steps.)
  • Knock over the lantern (choice #1) when you are cornered again.
  • Dump out the drum (choice #2) when you are cornered a third time.
  • (Yes, this means you will "Have your ducks in a row".)

Note that what this actually does is halve the number of ducks remaining in each of those three zones (rounding up). This way, if you haven't wandered into a zone, it will have 5 ducks remaining, but if you killed 3 instead (for example), then it will have ceiling((10-3)/2)=4 ducks remaining.

• To use the shortcut, there must be at least one duck left in the The Pond and The Back 40 when you complete the third step.
• Even if there are no more ducks left to fight at the farm, attempting to adventure here while falling-down drunk will still spend an adventure in a Drunken Stupor.
• You don't need to wear War Fatigues while killing ducks, just wear the appropriate fatigues while turning in the quest to Farmer McMillicancuddy to get credit for that side.

Text

Trying to talk to Farmer McMillicancuddy without wearing soldier fatigues:

Ach, I canna waste time wit ye right nae. I need help from yon soldiers.

Talking to Farmer McMillicancuddy in war fatigues initially:

"Ach! Me farm, it's overrun! Dooks all over it!"

"Dooks?" you reply. "What are dooks?"

"Dooks! Dooks, ye stupid git! Great flappin' beasts, with webbed feet and bills! Dooks!"

"Ah, gotcha. I'll see what I can do."

Finishing in the War Hippy Fatigues:

"Ach, the dooks are gone! Thank ye. How can I ever repay ye?"

"Well... How about dedicating a portion of your farm to growing soybeans, to help feed the hippy army?"

"Aye, aye. I can do that fer ye."

Finishing in the Frat Warrior Fatigues:

"Ach, the dooks are gone! Thank ye. How can I ever repay ye?"

"Well... How about dedicating a portion of your farm to growing hops, to make better beer for the frat army?"

"Aye, aye. I can do that fer ye."

Visiting in Frat Warrior Fatigues after finishing the quest:

"Ach, here ye are -- fresh from the fields, these are."

You acquire 3 bottles of McMillicancuddy's Special Lager

Visiting in War Hippy Fatigues after finishing the quest:

"Ach, here ye are -- fresh from the fields, these are."

You acquire 3 blocks of megatofu

After making a fence out of the barbed wire, knocking over the lantern, and dumping out the drum (if a chaos butterfly was previously used):

You unscrew the lid on the Whackin' Grease barrel and tip it over. The horde of ducks is swept into the Other Back 40 in a deluge of medicinal-smelling goo.

Blech.

The sky suddenly turns gray and a great wind rises. From the northwest, you see something approaching that looks like a white tornado. As it gets closer, though, you realize that it's not a white tornado -- it's a real tornado! You ain't in New York City, baby!

The funnel cloud touches down, picks up a bunch of the frozen ducks from the pond, and slings them eastward, beating them against the burning ducks in the back 40. The ice covering the frozen ducks melts as they continue to fly eastward, and this gentle rain combined with the gales of wind cleans the grease off of a bunch of the ducks in the other back 40.

As the formerly-frozen ducks continue their involuntary high-speed eastward migration, the formerly-flaming and formerly-greasy ducks confer for a moment, decide they've had enough of this crap, and mosey off into the sunset. Against the wind.