Deck of Every Card (adventure)
Below are the possible results of drawing a card. For a concise list of results, see Deck of Every Card (Effects Table).
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| Draw a card |
| 9 | |||||||||||||||
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| 9 |
You draw a card: X of Clubs
You feel a tap on your shoulder.
| Turn Around |
 | You acquire X seal-clubbing clubs |
| 5 | |||||||||||||||
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| 5 |
You draw a card: X of Diamonds
You notice a small velvet bag on the ground at your feet.
| Grab It |
 | You acquire X hyper-cubic zirconiae |
| 7 | |||||||||||||||
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| 7 |
You draw a card: X of Hearts
The hearts on the card look weird and puffy.
| Look closer... |
 | You acquire X bubblegum hearts |
| 3 | |||||||||||||||
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| 3 |
You draw a card: X of Spades
You notice a stack of shovels on the ground in front of a nearby stack of tombstones.
| Grab Them |
 | You acquire X grave robbing shovels |
(See Deck of Every Card spades puzzle for details)
| 3 | |||||||||||||||
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| 3 |
You draw a card: X of Papayas
You look down and see a pile of papayas. A pa-pile-a, if you will.
| Grab 'em! |
 | You acquire X papayas |
| 6 | |||||||||||||||
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| 6 |
You draw a card: X of Kumquats
Kumquats! Kumquats everywhere!
| Scoop them up! |
You scoop up all the kumquats.
 | You acquire X kumquats |
| 10 | |||||||||||||||
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| 10 |
You draw a card: X of Salads
You look down and see something hilarious.
| Ha! Ha ha ha! |
 | You acquire X bowls of delicious salad |
| 5 | |||||||||||||||
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| 5 |
You draw a card: X of Coins
Oh, huh -- the coins are actually real coins, stuck to the card!
| Nice! |
 | You acquire X valuable coins |
| 2 | |||||||||||||||
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| 2 |
You draw a card: X of Cups
The cups on the card seem... oddly three-dimensional.
| Investigate |
To your astonishment, you find that the cups are real. And to your delight, you find that they are full of booze!
You acquire X random booze items
| 5 | |||||||||||||||
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| 5 |
You draw a card: X of Swords
My God. It's full of swords.
| Sweet! |
You grab the swords off of the card before it occurs to you that they're not actually real swords.
You acquire X random swords
| 2 | |||||||||||||||
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| 2 |
You draw a card: X of Wands
The wands on the card twinkle and you notice that they're all pointed at you.
| Uh oh... |
The wands all fire at once, enchanting the crap out of you.
You acquire 5 turns of X random effects
| 0 - The Fool |
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You draw a card: 0 - The Fool
A silly fool dances foolishly on the card.
| Watch him dance! |
 | You acquire an effect: Dancin' Fool (duration: 20 Adventures) |
| I - The Magician |
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You draw a card: I - The Magician
A canny-looking magician glares at you wryly from the card.
| Glare right back at him. |
 | You acquire an effect: Magicianship (duration: 20 Adventures) |
| II - The High Priestess |
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You draw a card: II - The High Priestess
How did her eyes get so red?
| Who knows! |
Fight a random hippy
| III - The Empress |
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You draw a card: III - The Empress
This card depicts a crazy-looking woman holding a crazy-looking book (not pictured).
| Read Her Book |
| You gain 500 Magicalness. |
| IV - The Emperor |
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You draw a card: IV - The Emperor
This card just has a naked dude on it...
| Turn Away |
The Emperor  -- (edit metadata)
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| V - The Hierophant |
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You draw a card: V - The Hierophant
What is a hierophant, anyway. Just some dude?
| Probably just some dude |
Fight a random dude
| VI - The Lovers |
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You draw a card: VI - The Lovers
This card depicts two attractive people gazing lovingly into each others' eyes.
| Gaze along with them |
| You gain 500 Sarcasm. |
| VII - The Chariot |
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You draw a card: VII - The Chariot
What a confusing contrivance this conveyance is.
| Contemptible. |
Fight a random Construct
| IX - The Hermit |
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You draw a card: IX - The Hermit
Look at that guy. So smug. So sure he can't be killed.
| You'll show him |
| Hermit -- (edit metadata)
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| X - The Wheel of Fortune |
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You draw a card: X - The Wheel of Fortune
This card has a little wheel pinned to the center of it.
| Spin it. |
 | You acquire an effect: Fortune of the Wheel (duration: 20 Adventures) |
| XI - Strength |
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You draw a card: XI - Strength
You almost feel like you could walk right into the tiny gym on this card...
| Feel the burn! |
 | You acquire an effect: Strongly Motivated (duration: 20 Adventures) |
| XII - The Hanged Man |
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You draw a card: XII - The Hanged Man
Ugh. This guy.
| Ridiculous. |
Fight a random Orc
| XIII - Death |
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You draw a card: XIII - Death
The reaper regards you dispassionately from the center of the card.
| Gaze into his eyes... |
Fight a random Undead
| XIV - Temperance |
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You draw a card: XIV - Temperance
I guess this must be a card from the Ironic Tarot.
| Don't you think? |
Fight a random hobo
| XV - The Devil |
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You draw a card: XV - The Devil
The greatest trick The Devil ever pulled was appearing on this card.
| And for his next trick... |
Fight a random demon
| XVI - The Tower |
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You draw a card: XVI - The Tower
That tower looks familiar...
| Take a closer look. |
 | You acquire an item: Boris's key |
 | You acquire an item: Jarlsberg's key |
 | You acquire an item: Sneaky Pete's key |
| XVII - The Star |
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You draw a card: XVII - The Star
Oh, hey, a star.
| Wish upon it. |
Fight a random constellation
| XVIII - The Moon |
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You draw a card: XVIII - The Moon
Ugh. Space. Who needs it. It's just all full of horrors!
| Horrors, I tell ya. |
Fight a random horror
| XXI - The World |
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You draw a card: XXI - The World
This card has the whole world on it!
| Pick it up. |
| You gain 500 Fortitude. |
| Plains |
 Land Tap: Add one white mana to your mana pool. |
You draw a card: Plains
This card has a picture of some plains on it.
| Tap It |
| You acquire an item: white mana |
| Swamp |
 Land Tap: Add one black mana to your mana pool. |
You draw a card: Swamp
This card has a picture of a swamp on it.
| Tap It |
| You acquire an item: black mana |
| Mountain |
 Land Tap: Add one red mana to your mana pool. |
You draw a card: Mountain
This card has a picture of a mountain on it.
| Tap It |
| You acquire an item: red mana |
| Forest |
 Land Tap: Add one green mana to your mana pool. |
You draw a card: Forest
This card has a picture of a forest on it.
| Tap It |
| You acquire an item: green mana |
| Island |
 Land Tap: Add one blue mana to your mana pool. |
You draw a card: Island
This card has a picture of an island on it.
| Tap It |
| You acquire an item: blue mana |
| Healing Salve (W) |
 Instant Gain 3 life. |
You draw a card: Healing Salve
This card looks like it contains a magic spell of some kind.
| Memorize It |
You acquire a skill:
Healing SalveOr, if you already know the skill:
You already know this spell, so you just tear off the top right corner of the card and shove it in your pocket.
| You acquire an item: white mana |
| Dark Ritual (B) |
 Instant Add 3 black mana to your mana pool. |
You draw a card: Dark Ritual
This card looks like it contains a magic spell of some kind.
| Memorize It |
You acquire a skill:
Dark RitualOr, if you already know the skill:
You already know this spell, so you just tear off the top right corner of the card and shove it in your pocket.
| You acquire an item: black mana |
| Lightning Bolt R |
 Instant Deal 3 damage |
You draw a card: Lightning Bolt
This card looks like it contains a super powerful magic spell of some kind.
| Memorize It |
You acquire a skill:
Lightning BoltOr, if you already know the skill:
You already know this spell, so you just tear off the top right corner of the card and shove it in your pocket.
| You acquire an item: red mana |
| Giant Growth (G) |
 Instant Target creature gains +3/+3 until end of turn. |
You draw a card: Giant Growth
This card looks like it contains a magic spell of some kind.
| Memorize It |
You acquire a skill:
Giant GrowthOr, if you already know the skill:
You already know this spell, so you just tear off the top right corner of the card and shove it in your pocket.
| You acquire an item: green mana |
| Ancestral Recall (L) |
 Instant Draw 3 cards. |
You draw a card: Ancestral Recall
This card looks like it contains a magic spell of some kind.
| Memorize it |
You acquire a skill:
Ancestral RecallOr, if you already know the skill:
You already know this spell, so you just tear off the top right corner of the card and shove it in your pocket.
| You acquire an item: blue mana |
| The Hive (5) |
 (5)(T): Put a 1/1 colorless Insect artifact creature token with flying named Wasp onto the battlefield. |
You draw a card: The Hive
The hive on this card buzzes in much the same way a real hive buzzes.
| Poke it with a stick |
Fight a random Bug
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 Has +4 Attack while your opponent has 6 or more cards in hand. | ||
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You draw a card: Goblin Sapper
This card depicts an untrustworthy goblin. Which is to say... a goblin.
| Fail to trust him. |
Fight a random goblin
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 Battlecry: Deal 3 damage. | ||
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You draw a card: Fire Elemental
| Play the Card |
Fight a random elemental
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 Add a random minion to your hand. It costs (3) less. | |
You draw a card: Unstable Portal
You wonder what's inside...
| Find out! |
Fight a random Weird
| Lead Pipe |
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You draw a card: Lead Pipe
This card has a lead pipe on it, and also the words 'Lead Pipe.'
| Look Closer. |
 | You acquire an item: lead pipe |
| Rope |
 |
You draw a card: Rope
This card has a rope on it. Er, a picture of a rope, I guess.
| Look closer |
 | You acquire an item: rope |
| Wrench |
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You draw a card: Wrench
This card has a picture of a wrench on it.
| Look Closer. |
 | You acquire an item: wrench |
| Candlestick |
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You draw a card: Candlestick
This card has a picture of a candlestick on it.
| Look Closer. |
 | You acquire an item: candlestick |
| Knife |
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You draw a card: Knife
That's not a knife -- it's a card with a picture of a knife on it.
| Look closer |
 | You acquire an item: knife |
| Revolver |
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You draw a card: Revolver
You rotate the card to reveal a revolver. Ha ha.
| Look Closer |
 | You acquire an item: revolver |
| Professor Plum |
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You draw a card: Professor Plum
Wait... This guy looks familiar...
| Check inside his coat for weapons. |
 | You acquire 10 plums |
| Spare Tire |
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You draw a card: Spare Tire
You should really start paying more attention to your diet, ha ha ha.
| Look Closer. |
 | You acquire an item: tires |
| Extra Tank |
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You draw a card: Extra Tank
This card has a picture of a gas tank on it.
| Look Closer. |
 | You acquire an item: full meat tank |
| Sheep |
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You draw a card: Sheep
This card depicting a sheep fills you with shear joy.
| Ugh. |
 | You acquire 3 handfuls of stone wool |
| Year of Plenty |
 Take any 2 resources from the bank. Add them to your hand. They can be 2 of the same resource or 2 different resources. |
You draw a card: Year of Plenty
Two resources! You can live like a king!
| Do it. Live like a King. |
The card inspires you to see what you've got lying around the kitchen and whip up a feast of your own.
You acquire 5 random food items
| MINE |
 Trash a Treasure card from your hand. Gain a Treasure card costing up to (3) more; put it in your hand. |
You draw a card: Mine
This seems really complicated and boring...
| Oh well. See what's inside the mine. |
 | You acquire an item: linoleum ore |
 | You acquire an item: asbestos ore |
 | You acquire an item: chrome ore |
| LABORATORY |
 +1 Action |
You draw a card: Laboratory
Oh good, you're always on the lookout for some action.
| Get it. |
You grab a few pictures of potions off of the picture of an alchemist's desk.
You acquire 5 random potions
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| WEREWOLF |
You draw a card: Werewolf
This card depicts a savage beast. Good thing it's just a picture, and not really here...
| Or isn't it? |
Fight a random beast
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You draw a card: Go Fish
You are almost certain that there's no such card as this.
| Oh well. Go fish anyway. |
Fight a random Fish
| Get Well Soon! | |||||||||||||||
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You draw a card: Plantable Greeting Card
This is one of those greeting cards with seeds woven into the recycled paper it's made out of.
| Cool. Plant it. |
Fight a random plant
| Happy Birthday! |
 To my favorite Pieces of 8-Year-Old Nephew! |
You draw a card: Pirate Birthday Card
That joke doesn't even make any sense!
| Ugh. The worst! |
Fight a random pirate
 Merry Christmas, Walter! |
You draw a card: Christmas Card
Huh. You didn't even know they made name-specific Christmas cards.
| Also, what's Christmas? |
Fight a random elf
| Gift Card |
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You draw a card: Gift Card
Hmm. Kinda... nonspecific.
| Oh well. |
 | You acquire an item: gift card |
| Fancy Suit Warehouse |
 10% Discount Card |
You draw a card: Suit Warehouse Discount Card
You've been meaning to get a new suit.
| Grab the card |
Fight a random penguin
| Mickey Mantle |
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You draw a card: 1952 Mickey Mantle
You flip over the top card, which turns out to be an incredibly valuable baseball card!
| Woah! |
 | You acquire an item: 1952 Mickey Mantle card |
 THE RETURN OF SLIMER |
You draw a card: Slimer Trading Card
Yuck, what a gross ghost. A ghrost.
| So slimy |
Fight a random slime
| Aquarius |
 Abandon hope for future plans... |
You draw a card: Aquarius Horoscope
That's pretty depressing, as horoscopes go.
| Oh well. Abandon away. |
Fight a random Mer-Kin
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You draw a card: Hunky Fireman Card
This fireman doesn't look quite human.
| Look more closely. |
Fight a random humanoid
| Green Card |
| Good for one (1) citizenship. |
You draw a card: Green Card
Whoah, hey -- you've heard these things are really hard to get!
| Grab It! |
legal alien  -- (edit metadata)
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You draw a card: The Race Card
Huh. You didn't think this was a literal card.
| Read it more closely. |
 | You acquire an effect: Racing! (duration: 20 Adventures) |
Occurs when drawing a card or using gift card.
References
- The first two sets of cards are references to the Minor and Major Arcana of Tarot cards.
- The next two sets are, respectively, the basic lands and the "Boon Cycle" cards of Magic: the Gathering. The Hive is also a Magic card.
- The Goblin Sapper, Fire Elemental, and Unstable Portal cards are references to Hearthstone: Heroes of Warcraft.
- The six weapons and Professor Plum are from Cluedo, known as Clue in North America.
- Sheep and Year of Plenty are from The Settlers of Catan.
- Mine and Laboratory are from Dominion, another card game.
- The Spare Tire and Extra Tank are from Mille Bornes.
- The Werewolf is from the card game also known as Werewolf (or mafia, but in that case the card would say 'Mafia'). It has been published by many companies under many names, but can also be played with a regular deck of cards, or even without any cards at all. The cardless variety is incredibly popular online.
- The Go Fish card is a reference to the game Go Fish, and no, it doesn't actually contain a "Go Fish" card.
- A green card refers to two different pieces of U.S. documentation, which both relate to the legal residency status of immigrants.
- The race card is a rhetorical device whereby you attempt to diffuse an opponent's argument by accusing them of racism.
