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You walk into the empty Ballroom, looking around for something interesting to loot or fight, but not finding anything. You're searching behind a curtain when you suddenly hear a riot of activity from one end of the room. You peek out to see what's going on.

In the shadows of the north end of the room, you hear music coming from a gigantic pipe organ. It's a lively but depressing tune, apparently being played for the benefit of the lively but depressing pairs zombies that have appeared on the dance floor.

Nobody seems to have noticed you yet. What would you like to do?

Investigate the organ
  • With bizarre illegible sheet music (As a Moxie class):
    You approach the organ, and the shadowy figure playing it, but neither of them seem to notice you. As you reach forward to tap him on the shoulder, that sheet of music you found in the bedroom falls out of your sack, and a freak gust of wind blows it up onto the music stand of the organ.
    There is a frightening change in both the mood and the music as he begins to play the dire melodies written on the sheet.
    • As a Disco Bandit:
      The music inspires you to dance in a way you've never danced before. A way you've never wanted to dance before, for that matter.
      You gain a skill: Tango of Terror
    • As an Accordion Thief:
      You listen closely to the music. You manage to memorize enough of it to play a reasonable facsimile of it, yourself. The accordion isn't much more than a more portable, more annoying version of a pipe organ, after all.
      You gain a skill: Dirge of Dreadfulness
  • Without bizarre illegible sheet music:
ghastly organist This monster is Undead -- (edit metadata)
  • Item Drops: opera mask
  • Meat Drop: 40-60
  • Monster Level: 65 • Substat Gain: 16.25 • Moxie for No Hit*: 75
  • Monster Defense: 55
  • Hit Points: 70
  • Initiative: 50
  • Elemental Alignment: None

Watch the dancers

You watch the dancers for a while. Though their steps are old-school, you still learn a thing or two.

You gain <base mainstat> ± 5 capped at 150 Chutzpah.

Pay no attention to the stuff in front of the curtain

You keep hiding behind the curtain until the noises go away.

Occurs at The Haunted Ballroom.


  • Choosing "Pay no attention to the stuff in front of the curtain" does not consume an Adventure.


  • The third choice refers to a line from the famous movie, The Wizard of Oz: "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!"