Crusty hippy Vegan chef

Crusty hippy Vegan chef
Monster ID	57
Locations	The Hippy Camp
Hit Points	30
Attack	41
Defense	36
No-Hit	51
Initiative	70
Meat	None
Phylum	hippy
Elements	stench
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, arm, leg, torso
Drops filthy corduroys, filthy knitted dread sack, filthy pestle, herbs, hippy bongo, reodorant
Quest	Spanish fly
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a crusty hippy Vegan chef

This is a peace-loving chef from the Vega star system. Not really. The truth is out there, but far less interesting.

Hit Message(s):

He pulls out a phaser and shoots you in the <kidney>. Well, actually he just claws you with his filthy hippy fingernails. Oof! Argh! (stench damage)

He does some kind of alien mind-meld with you. Well, actually he just kicks you in the <neck>. Eek! Ow! (stench damage)

He probes you in the <thigh>. You're not sure if he's an alien or just kinky. Eek! Ugh! Argh! (stench damage)

He clamps his hand on a nerve in your shoulder and you pass out. Well, not so much from the neck pinch as from the smell of close-proximity hippy. Eek! Ugh! (stench damage)

Critical Hit Message:

He pulls out a bass guitar and starts playing a funky riff. The mothership descends in a beam of pure white light, coming to rest right on top of you. Fortunately, it takes off in time for you to start breathing again. Ouch! Ow! Ouch! (stench damage)

Miss Message(s):

He pulls out a phaser and shoots you in the <arse>. Wait, no he doesn't.

He morphs into his true alien form and engulfs you. Wait, no he doesn't.

He tries to probe you in the ankle, but you distract him with a series of probing questions.

He tries to do an alien neck-pinch on you, but is foiled by your earthling dodging skills.

Fumble Message:

He starts to attack again, but a black car with darkly-tinted windows pulls up behind him. Men in black suits pile out, grab him, and take him into the car. He emerges dazed and bruised a few minutes later. (FUMBLE!)

---

After Combat

You acquire an item: filthy corduroys (2.9% chance)*

You acquire an item: filthy knitted dread sack (5.3% chance)*

You acquire an item: filthy pestle (10.3% chance)*

You acquire an item: herbs (30.1% chance)*

You acquire an item: reodorant (5.0% chance)*

You acquire an item: hippy bongo (5% chance)*

• With a Spanish fly trap equipped.

You acquire an item: Spanish fly (25% chance)*

You gain 8 <substat>.

---

Occurs at The Hippy Camp.

References

• "The truth is out there" is the tagline to the TV show The X-Files.
• The "phaser", "neck-pinch", and "mind-meld" combat messages are references to the TV show Star Trek.
• The "probe" and "morph" combat messages and the fumble text refer to the 1997 film Men In Black.
• The critical hit message refers to the Parliament album Mothership Connection.