Creepy clown

Creepy clown
Monster ID	112
Locations	The "Fun" House
Hit Points	16
Attack	20
Defense	18
No-Hit	30
Initiative	85
Meat	24-36
Phylum	horror
Elements	spooky
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, arm, leg, torso
Drops acid-squirting flower, big bass drum, clown shoes, clown skin, foolscap fool's cap
Bounty	empty greasepaint tube
Pickpocket	polka-dot bow tie
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a creepy clown

This is a creepy clown. He differs from the scary clown in that he is creepy, rather than scary, but the overall effect is the same. -shudder-

Hit Message(s):

He waddles toward you chuckling evilly. You fall asleep and the clown starts eating you. Eek! Argh! (spooky damage)

He waddles toward you and sprays you with seltzer water. EVIL seltzer water. Ooh! Ow! (spooky damage)

He jumps up on a unicycle and rides it around you, squeaking a little horn and chuckling. Your insides start to liquefy with terror. Ouch! Ow! (spooky damage)

He kicks you in the <nipple> with his big, floppy shoes. Why is that supposed to be funny? I mean, are they supposed to have really big feet, or just be wearing ill-fitting clothes? Oof! Ooh! Oof! (spooky damage)

Critical Hit Message:

He leaps into the air, grabs a trapeze bar, does an impressive triple gainer, and lands on your head. Argh! Eek! Oof! (spooky damage)

Miss Message(s):

He waddles toward you clicking his teeth together, but you stay awake so he can't eat you.

He tries to soak you with EVIL seltzer water, but you hide behind a tiny umbrella.

He jumps on a unicycle and rides it toward you, but falls over before he can get to you.

He tries to kick you with his big, floppy shoes, but trips over them and falls on his squeaky red nose.

Fumble Message:

He suddenly sits down and starts crying. There's some sad things known to man, but there's not much sadder than this, man. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You gain 24-36 Meat (average: 30, stdev: 2.83)*

You acquire an item: acid-squirting flower (10% chance)*

You acquire an item: big bass drum (4% chance)*

You acquire an item: clown shoes (10% chance)*

You acquire an item: clown skin (10% chance)*

You acquire an item: foolscap fool's cap (10% chance)*

• If you are on the appropriate bounty hunt:

You acquire a bounty item: empty greasepaint tube

(X of 7 found)

You gain 4 <substat>.

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Occurs at The "Fun" House.

Notes

• Using Pickpocket on this monster may yield a polka-dot bow tie from about 5% of pickpocket attempts.

References

• The eating hit/miss text is a reference to a Simpsons episode where a young Bart, traumatized by the creepy-looking clown bed Homer made for him, is shown repeating the mantra "Can't sleep... clown will eat me... can't sleep... clown will eat me..."
• The fumble message is a reference to the song "The Tears of a Clown" by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles which has the chorus "Well they're some sad things known to man / But ain't too much sadder than / The tears of a clown."