Courtesan

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Courtesan
Monster ID 589
Locations The Rogue Windmill
Hit Points Scales with player stats
Attack Scales with player stats (Max 125)
Defense Scales with player stats
Initiative 60
Meat None
Phylum dude
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
Drops
bottle of realpagne
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
courtesan You're fighting a courtesan

This woman isn't a prostitute, in the same way that a Sanitation Engineer isn't a janitor. It's her job to "entertain" the gentlemen who visit the Rogue Windmill, in return for expensive "gifts" that are in no way related to the "services" she provides. Deep down, though, she's a "performer" with deep "ambitions" to become a real "actress" someday. She's probably also working on her "bachelor's degree."

Hit Message(s):

She scratches you with her fingernails. You hope your blood doesn't wreck her manicure. Ow! Eek!

She kicks you with a stiletto heel. It's like being fashionably stabbed. Argh! Ow!

She sings a slightly off-key, over-produced rendition of a popular song. The earplugs! Zey do nossing! Ugh! Ouch!

She takes off the giant diamond necklace she's wearing and smacks you with it. Your pain is multi-faceted. Ow! Ooh!

Critical Hit Message:

She starts to scream at you, but trails off into a fit of wheezing and coughing. Some of the multi-colored crud she's coughing up gets on you, and some gets in you -- you really should keep your mouth closed. Argh! Eek! Eek!(sleaze damage)

Miss Message(s):

She starts to sing, but you cut her off before the orchestra kicks in.

She tries to kick you with a stiletto heel, but her other heel breaks off and she falls over.

She tries to scratch you, but you tell her no thanks, you're not itchy.

She tries to smack you with her giant diamond necklace, but it's too heavy for her to swing.

Fumble Message:

She runs at you screaming (or maybe she's singing, it's kind of hard to tell the difference), but stops and starts wheezing and coughing. She looks at her blood-stained handkerchief and passes out. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Champagne.gifYou acquire an item: bottle of realpagne (20% chance)*
You gain some <substat>.

Occurs at The Rogue Windmill.

References

  • Consumptive courtesans are the main characters in both Moulin Rouge! and La Traviata. Indeed, Nicole Kidman's character, Satine, in Moulin Rouge! trails off into coughing and sputtering rather than singing, during the climax of the film.
  • "The earplugs! Zey do nossing!" is a reference to a quote from the episode of the "Radioactive Man" episode of The Simpsons, when Rainier Wolfcastle is faced with a tidal wave of sulfuric acid while filming a movie, his only provided safety precaution a pair of rubber safety goggles. When the scene goes horribly wrong, he is swept away, his suit dissolving and his prop goggles spurring him to yell, "My eyes! The goggles do nothing!" This line is commonly misquoted as "The goggles! They do nothing!"