Count Bakula

Count Bakula
Monster ID	348
Locations	The Unquiet Garves (ultra-rarely), The VERY Unquiet Garves (ultra-rarely)
Hit Points	80
Attack	80
Defense	72
No-Hit	90
Initiative	always
Meat	None
Phylum	dude
Elements	spooky
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	unknown
Drops Talisman of Bakula
refreshedit data

 You're fighting Count Bakula

Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr. Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Stride accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself trapped in the Kingdom of Loathing, facing poorly-drawn images that were not his own, and driven by an unknown force to drink human blood.

Oh boy.

Hit Message(s):

He sets his phase-pistol to 'drain bodily fluids'. Ow! Eek! Argh! Eek! Oof! Eek! Argh! Eek!

He leaps forward to a time-period where he's biting you in the <groin>! Ouch! Ugh!

Critical Hit Message:

Abruptly, a short Italian guy appears next to him, and says "Ehh... uhh... Ziggy says... Ziggy says you should hit this Adventurer in the <arm>." Count Bakula happily obliges.

Miss Message(s):

He starts to attack you, but gets distracted and begins muttering to himself about someone named 'Al'.

He starts to attack you, but gets distracted by thoughts of this frigid elf chick he knows.

Fumble Message:

All of a sudden a short Italian guy appears next to him, says "Ehh... uhh... Ziggy says... Ziggy says... " and then abruptly fades away. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: Talisman of Bakula

You gain 20 <substat>.

If you lose the fight:

You are knocked to the ground. As the monster walks off, he drops a white ribbon.

You acquire an item: consolation ribbon (100% chance)*

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Occurs at The Unquiet Garves and The VERY Unquiet Garves, ultra-rarely.

Notes

• First appeared on April Fool's Day, 2006. On that day, this adventure appeared regularly for all users but dropped nothing.
• Was confirmed to exist as a real ultra-rare monster on the April 6th edition of The Jick Show.
• Was confirmed not to drop a vampire heart when attacked with wooden stakes on the July 13th edition of The Jick Show.

References

• This is a reference to the show Quantum Leap, starring Scott Bakula, which opened, "Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr. Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator... and vanished." The character usually began or ended an episode with a worried "Oh boy." and maybe said it a few times in the middle of an episode, too.
• The reference to "muttering to himself about someone named 'Al'" also refers to Quantum Leap, where Sam Beckett was being guided by Al, another technician from his home time period. Al appeared to Sam as a hologram, which in that show, means nobody but Sam could see Al.
• The phase pistol and frigid elf chick reference Scott Bakula's role as Captain Archer in the UPN Star Trek prequel Enterprise. The elf chick would be the character named T'Pol, a Vulcan, played by Jolene Blalock.
• This adventure is a much like the Baiowulf adventure, implemented about a year earlier. That adventure references another actor also named Scott: Scott Baio.