Comma Chameleon Messages (A-G)

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The Comma Chameleon familiar can consume Familiar Equipment to gain the functionality of other familiars. Each piece of equipment has a unique message when fed to a Chameleon, and another when the effect wears off.

Equipment Messages

#

  • 1.21 jigawatts (Temporal Riftlet)
    • When eaten:
      <name> snags the 1.21 jigawatts, with her tongue. You're now looking at a lizard-shaped hole in time, which is, to say the least, disconcerting.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> coughs up a shower of sparks, then turns back into a normal lizard. Which, on the whole, isn't a bad thing.
  • 100-Watt bulb (Jill-O-Lantern)
    • When eaten:
      You toss <name> the 100-Watt bulb, and she catches it on her tongue, and swallows it. Her eyes glow green, and she smiles a snaggletoothed-smile.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> hiccups, coughs, and her eyes stop glowing.

A

  • amphibious tophat (Dancing Frog)
    • When eaten:
      <name> balances the top hat on her tongue. She starts singing and high-stepping.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> swallows the top hat. She lets out one final "ribbit" before she stops dancing.
  • ant antidepressant (Mutant Fire Ant)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the antidepressant. Her scales turn to chitin and she grows two giant mandibles.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> hiccups, belches, and her skin goes scaly again. Thank goodness -- she looked really creepy with six legs.
  • aquaviolet jub-jub bird (Frumious Bandersnatch)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the jub-jub bird whole, missing the opportunity for a teeth cleaning. She sprouts wings and starts chortling in her joy.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> belches a belch redolent of jub-jub bird, and her wings fold back into her body. Looks like brillig is over.
  • attention spanner (Attention-Deficit Demon)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the attention spanner in one gulp, and her eyes grow twice as large as they usually are. She squeaks, "hey, wanna go ride bikes?"
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> hiccups, burps, and her eyeballs shrink back to normal size. She looks ready to concentrate on one task for an extended period of time.

B

  • badger badge (Astral Badger)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the badger badge, and starts doing a little repetitive dance, all the while keeping an eye out for snakes.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> hiccups, burps, and stops doing the badger dance.
  • bag of many confections (Stocking Mimic)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the bag of many confections. Her scales turn red and white, and her mouth becomes a gaping tooth-lined maw. Awww...
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> finally swallows the last candy in the bag of confections. Her skin fades from its festive red-and-white, and her mouth becomes less of a slavering maw.
  • black gallstone (Bad Vibe)
    • When eaten:
      <name> eats the black gallstone, and turns into a real jerk.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> belches, and turns back into her regular, less-pain in the ass self.******
  • blue canary nightlight (Unconscious Collective)
    • When eaten:
      You toss the nightlight to <Name>. She eats it, and her belly glows as she curls up to sleep.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> hiccups, wakes up, and shakes off the last of her strange dreams.
  • blue pumps (Ms. Puck Man)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the shoes. Her mouth opens impossibly wide as her skin turns yellow.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> burps, closes her mouth, and goes back to her original color.******
  • blue suede shoes (Jumpsuited Hound Dog)
    • When eaten:
      <name> chokes down the blue suede shoes, not carin' if the sun don't shine. With her new white jumpsuit and pompadour wig, she looks like a devil in disguise.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> burps, and takes off her suit and wig. Looking relieved, she says "Thank you very much."
  • blundarrrbus (Spooky Pirate Skeleton)
    • When eaten:
      <name>, in one smooth motion, unhinges her jaw and swallows the blundarrrbus. "Avast, ye scurvy swab!" she squeaks.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> belches loudly, causing a faint whiff of gunpowder to waft across your face. She looks decidedly less swashbuckling now.
  • bone collar (Misshapen Animal Skeleton)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the bone collar, and suddenly gets an emaciated look. She moans spookily.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> blinks and shakes her head. She doesn't look quite as bony now.
  • Bottle of Cochon Noir (Chauvinist Pig)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the bottle. Her tail goes all corkscrew-y, and she smacks you on the butt.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> burps one last pheremone-laden burp, and finally stops groping you every third adventure.
  • bottle of moontan lotion (Wereturtle)
    • When eaten:
      <name> drinks the bottle of lotion, and lets loose a strange combination of howl and hiccup.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> howls and burps at the same time.
  • bottle of perfume (Jitterbug)
    • When eaten:
      <name> catches the bottle on her tongue and swallows it. Her eyes bug out, she grows an extra pair of legs, and she starts dancing like a queen.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> belches a sweet-smelling, pink cloud. Her extra legs vanish and she settles down.
  • box of hickory chips (Galloping Grill)
    • When eaten:
      <name> eats the wood chips and starts galloping around in circles, occasionally belching out little puffs of smoke.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> emits one last huge smoky belch and settles down.******
  • brass bung spigot (Lil' Barrel Mimic)
    • When eaten:
      You feed <name> a brass spigot, proving once again that she'll eat any damn thing. She turns brown and roughly cylindrical.
    • When effect wears off:
      %name belches, and turns back to her normal non-wooden self.******
  • brass crank handle (Jack-in-the-Box)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the crank and plops motionless to the ground, looking a little squarer than usual.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> belches up a few notes of tinny calliope music.
  • brass stinger (Killer Bee)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the brass stinger. She starts to float like a butterfly, ready to sting like a bee.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name>'s stomach rumbles and she stops buzzing through the air, which, at this point, is something of a relief.
  • brass turkey knuckles (Fist Turkey)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the knuckles, instantly growing veinier and more belligerent.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> burps and calms down as her veins sink back below skin level.******
  • bugged balaclava (Baby Bugged Bugbear)
    • When eaten:
      <name> belches loudly, then sighs. "Whew, thank goodness that's over," she squeaks. "Wait... what?"
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> eats the bugged balaclava, and acquires an extremely confused facial expression.
  • bugged beanie (Baby Bugged Bugbear)
    • When eaten:
      <name> belches loudly, then sighs. "Whew, thank goodness that's over," she squeaks. "Wait... what?"
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> eats the bugged beanie, and acquires an extremely confused facial expression.
  • bugged bön±Ã©t (Baby Bugged Bugbear)
    • When eaten:
      <name> belches loudly, then sighs. "Whew, thank goodness that's over," she squeaks. "Wait... what?"
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> eats the bugged... object, and acquires an extremely confused facial expression.

C

  • cactus monocle (Mutant Cactus Bud)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the monocle. She levitates off the ground, spines protruding from her scales.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> belches loudly, and falls to the floor with a *thump.*
  • can of starch (Origami Towel Crane)
    • When eaten:
      <name> drinks the can of starch, and turns pink with little blue flowers.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> changes back to her normal color. Whatever that is.
  • candied yam pinky ring (Hand Turkey)
    • When eaten:
      <name> sticks out her tongue, and snags the candied yam pinky ring. She swallows it, and starts to look like both a hand and a turkey at the same time.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name>'s tummy rumbles, and her beak turns into a mouth again.
  • charpuce jub-jub bird (Frumious Bandersnatch)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the jub-jub bird whole, missing the opportunity for a teeth cleaning. She sprouts wings and starts chortling in her joy.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> belches a belch redolent of jub-jub bird, and her wings fold back into her body. Looks like brillig is over.
  • chiptune guitar (Mini-Hipster)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the chiptune guitar. Her scales turn into a mesh trucker cap, an extra-long T-shirt, and a pair of tiny jogging shorts. Ugh.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> hiccups and coughs a little. Her scales turn back to normal, and she stops criticizing something she used to love, before it got popular.
  • chocolate bowtie (Choctopus)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the bowtie and turns brown as she plops to the ground in a splash of tentacles.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> burps and returns to her normal color and number of tentacles (which is zero.)******
  • chocolate leash (Chocolate Lab)
    • When eaten:
      <name> slurps up the leash like a piece of chocolate spaghetti. She grins and turns brown.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> emits a sweet-smelling burp and fades back to her normal color.******
  • chocolate spurs (Cocoabo)
    • When eaten:
      <name> starts nibbling, famished, at the chocolate spurs. Before you can stop her, she's swallowed them. Chocolate feathers sprout on her back, and she looks up at you and says, "kweh?"
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> hiccups, twitches, and the feathers on her back turn into scales again. At least she won't be saying, "kweh?" every thirty seconds.
  • cotton candy cordial (Cotton Candy Carnie)
    • When eaten:
      <name> cordially swallows the bottle of cordial. Her eyes go unfocused and her skin goes pink and fluffy.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> hiccups drunkenly, and her cotton-candy skin goes back to scales again.
  • cracker (Exotic Parrot)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the cracker whole, wincing as the corners scrape her throat. Her scales turn into feathers, but her cold reptilian eyes stay the same. Birds are creepy.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> coughs, snorts, and swallows heavily. Her feathers turn back into scales, but her creepy, reptilian eyes remain the same.
  • crimsilion jub-jub bird (Frumious Bandersnatch)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the jub-jub bird whole, missing the opportunity for a teeth cleaning. She sprouts wings and starts chortling in her joy.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> belches a belch redolent of jub-jub bird, and her wings fold back into her body. Looks like brillig is over.
  • crystal decanter (Happy Medium)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the crystal decanter and begins to levitate slightly as she assumes the Lotus position.
    • When effect wears off:
      The decanter-sized lump in <name> 's throat smooths out, and she stops levitating and chanting.******

D

  • dental pliers (Crimbo Elf)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the dental pliers, and blinks at you. "Ho ho ho ki yay," she squeaks.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> belches to the tune of "Jingle Bells," and seems to lose the last of her Crimbo spirit.
  • diamond-studded fronts (Wind-up Chattering Teeth)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the diamond-studded fronts, and starts chattering back and forth, looking ready to drag some guy out of a van by the crotch of his pants.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> hiccups, burps, and sneezes all at once. Instead of turning her inside out, though, it just stops her from chattering.

E

  • even more tinsel (Crimbo Shrub)
    • When eaten:
      <name> eats the tinsel, and starts flashing with red and green lights.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> burps, and suddenly looks a little less festive.******
  • evil teddy bear sewing kit (Evil Teddy Bear)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the evil teddy bear sewing kit. Her scales turn into fur and her eyes glow red. Must have been a pretty big kit, because now she looks stuffed!
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> rubs her stomach with one claw, burps, and her fur turns back into scales again. She's a lot less creepy now, too.
  • extra-heavy BRICKO brick (BRICKO chick)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the brick and gets a lot more jaggedy.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> belches and goes back to her normal curvy shape.
  • extra-strength rubber bands (Rock Lobster)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the rubber bands, turns dark gray, and starts floating in midair.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> burps and drifts slowly back to the ground, the color gradually returning to her cheeks.
  • eye 'n' horn shampoo (Uniclops)
    • When eaten:
      <name> drinks the shampoo, and her feet turn into hooves. She whinnies at you, as if to say "look at my hooves! My hooves!"
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> emits a loud combination of a whinny and a belch, and returns to normal.
  • eye-pod (Baby Gravy Fairy)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the eyepod in one gulp. Wings sprout from her shoulders, and she starts dancing around, looking like she’s ready to sell you some auto insurance.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> sneezes and looks around, confused. The wings on her shoulders fade away, and she stops dancing.

F

  • false eyelashes (Clockwork Grapefruit)
    • When eaten:
      That bezoomy <name> swallows the false eyelashes. As they go down her gorlo, she looks ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence.
    • When effect wears off:
      O, me brothers, <name> belches loudly. Looks like the false eyelashes have gone through her brooko.
  • farfalle bow tie (Animated Macaroni Duck)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the farfalle bow-tie, and turns very pale and pasty-looking. She quacks at you.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> hiccups, and returns to her usual shade of... whatever. Green, probably.
  • fin-bit wax (Magic Dragonfish)
    • When eaten:
      <name> eats the wax. Her skin takes on a shiny, rainbow-colored sheen.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> burps and looks bored.
  • fixed-gear bicycle (Mini-Hipster)
    • When eaten:
      With no small modicum of effort, <name> swallows the bicycle. She grows a little tattoo of a moustache on one talon, and holds it up under her nose.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> coughs up a pedal from the bicycle, and finally stops talking about how awesome terrible music is.
  • flaming glowsticks (Flaming Gravy Fairy)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the flaming glowsticks, then burps and exhales twin smoke-rings from her nostrils. She starts to dance a hot, hot dance while flames lick up and down her back.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> belches one final smoke ring, and finally stops her hot, hot dancing.
  • flaming nose (Flaming Face)
    • When eaten:
      <name> sniffs the nose, then swallows it. She turns red, then orange, then settles into flickering rapidly between red and orange.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> burps and wipes sweat from her brow as she returns to normal.******
  • funky brass fez (Cymbal-Playing Monkey)
    • When eaten:
      <name> goes to lick her eyeball, but grabs the brass fez and swallows it. Her front claws turn into cymbals, and she grins creepily at you.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> gives her cymbals one last CLANG, then watches them turn back into claws.

G

  • gazing shoes (Emo Squid)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows all eight gazing shoes, one by one. She blinks at you, and cries a single emo tear.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> belches loudly, and seems to shake off her emo blues. Her tentacles turn back into feet.
  • gill rings (Grouper Groupie)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the gill rings. Her lips turn bright red, she grows gills, and she starts flirting with you.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> hiccups a couple of times, and becomes a lot less skanky.
  • gnomish athlete's foot (Reagnimated Gnome)
    • When eaten:
      You toss the athlete's foot to <name>. Her torso shrinks away and rough stitches appear on her legs and neck.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> hiccups and belches as her torso reappears and the stitches around her limbs fade away.******
  • gnomish coal miner's lung (Reagnimated Gnome)
    • When eaten:
      You toss the coal miner's lung to <name>. Her torso shrinks away and rough stitches appear on her legs and neck.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> hiccups and belches as her torso reappears and the stitches around her limbs fade away.******
  • gnomish housemaid's kgnee (Reagnimated Gnome)
    • When eaten:
      You toss the housemaid's knee to <name>. Her torso shrinks away and rough stitches appear on her legs and neck.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> hiccups and belches as her torso reappears and the stitches around her limbs fade away.******
  • gnomish swimmer's ears (Reagnimated Gnome)
    • When eaten:
      You toss the swimmer's ear to <name>. Her torso shrinks away and rough stitches appear on her legs and neck.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> hiccups and belches as her torso reappears and the stitches around her limbs fade away.******
  • gnomish tennis elbow (Reagnimated Gnome)
    • When eaten:
      You toss the tennis elbow to <name>. Her torso shrinks away and rough stitches appear on her legs and neck.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> hiccups and belches as her torso reappears and the stitches around her limbs fade away.******
  • golden banana (Golden Monkey)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the banana whole and takes on a golden sheen.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> burps and fades to a less expensive-looking color.******
  • green pixie spog (Green Pixie)
    • When eaten:
      You toss <name> the spog. She snaps it out of the air, then grows dreadlocks and squeaks "Ach, Crivens!"
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> hiccups and looks queasy. Her dreadlocks fall out and she stops headbutting everything in sight.
  • Grim Brothers' story book (Grim Brother)
    • When eaten:
      <name> changes her scales to the ecclesiastical brown of a monk's robe, and starts telling you a violent old story.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> changes back from brown to green, and her grim grimace turns into a relaxed grin.******
  • grimstone galoshes (Grimstone Golem)
    • When eaten:
      <name> swallows the grimstone galoshes. She frowns and begins walking ponderously, with the sound of grinding stone on stone.
    • When effect wears off:
      <name> belches and sighs as her skin turns from stone into scales again. She smiles, no longer grim.******

References

  • The message for when the attention spanner is consumed is the answer to the riddle "how many children with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb?"
  • The brass stinger/killer bee message is Muhammad Ali's catchphrase, "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee."
  • The chocolate spurs/Cocoabo message is yet another reference to the Final Fantasy series. "Kweh" is the sound chocobos make.
  • The message for when the diamond-studded fronts are consumed is a reference to the Stephen King short story "Chattery Teeth".
  • The message for when the eye-pod is consumed is a reference to an ad campaign by GEICO Direct insurance, featuring a dancing and talking CGI gecko.
  • The line when you give the Chameleon the Jitterbug equipment is a reference to the band ABBA's song, "Dancing Queen."
Comma Chameleon Equipment Consumption Messages
A-G H-Q R-Z