Cold vampire

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Cold vampire
Monster ID 1413
Locations Dreadsylvanian Castle
Hit Points 800
Attack 500
Defense 500
Initiative 25
Meat None
Phylum undead
Elements cold
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
remorseless knife, Dreadsylvanian Almanac page, Freddy Kruegerand
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
cold vampire You're fighting Tsar-Tsar-Earl-Count Sebastian Shiverblain

You push open a door in the castle, and your breath immediately fogs up as you enter. Slabs of meat (you don't look at them closely enough to identify them) hang from hooks throughout the room, and you make your way carefully between them, trying not to touch anything.

"Ah, hello," says a voice nearby. A man in white work-clothes steps down from a small stepladder and wipes his hands on his white butcher's apron, smearing the front of it with red. "I didn't know we had visitors."

"What's with all the meat?" you ask. "I thought it was just vampires around here."

"That's true," the man replies, "but the meat has to go somewhere after we've drained the blood out of it. Waste not, want not!" He grins, showing pointed fangs. "Come over this way. I still have a few empty hooks here in the back."

Hit Message(s):

He bites you on the neck, turning your digestive and circulatory systems into the world's most efficient beer fridge. Brrrrrrrrrrr. (cold damage)

The vampire bites your <shins>, which immediately frosts over like the freezer-burn on a pudding pop. Brrrrrrrrrrr. (cold damage)

He bites you on the <shoulder>, which immediately freezes solid and shatters. Brrrrrrrrrrr. (cold damage)

He bites you on the neck, and you can feel your blood turning into blood-flavored Slushy. Brrrrrrrrrrr. (cold damage)

He bites you on the neck. It feels like being stabbed with two little icicles! And then having your blood sucked out. Brrrrrrrrrrr. (cold damage)

Critical Hit Message:

The vampire bites you. You now contain a very large and elaborate blood popsicle. Brrrrrrrrrrr. (cold damage)

Miss Message(s):

He bites you on the neck, but your blood freezes so quickly that he can't suck any of it out. This seems like a huge miscalculation on his part.

The vampire tries to bite your lower back, but misses. Brr! His breath is really cold!

He tries to bite your neck, but you're shivering too hard for him to get an accurate bite in.

He tries to bite you on the head, but the last thing you want is a head -sicle.

The vampire tries to bite your <thigh>, but misses. Brr! His breath is really cold!

He announces his intention to bite your feet. Initially you're okay with that, but then you get cold feet, and cancel. I mean, you were bound to get cold feet either way, so... god this joke is dumb.

The vampire tries to bite your arm, but misses. Brr! His breath is really cold!

Fumble Message:

The vampire stops to rub his hands together a bit, while alternating between mutters of "Brr!" and "Blah!" (FUMBLE!)

Special Move(s):

Your blood turns to ice water, which the vampire drinks.

HPYou lose 1-10 hit points.
HPEnemy regains 10 HP

After Combat

Dv krueggerand.gifYou acquire an item: Freddy Kruegerand
Dv recipe.gifYou acquire an item: Dreadsylvanian Almanac page (.1% chance)*
Dv remknife.gifYou acquire an item: remorseless knife (.1% chance)*
You gain ??? <substat>.

Occurs at Dreadsylvanian Castle


  • This monster cannot be copied.
  • The Freddy Kruegerand and Dreadsylvanian Almanac page drops are not affected by item drop modifiers. They are similar to the beer lens drop and drops from crates. In particular, they can still drop after being stomped.
  • Every round, vampires suck your blood, healing themselves.
    • Your blood turns to ice water, which the vampire drinks.
    • The vampire throws an ice-cold arm around your windpipe, and freezes your larynx while crushing it.
    • The vampire buries his ice-cold fangs into your neck, turning your blood into a delicious (for him) slurpee.
    • The vampire sinks his ice-cold fangs into your neck, slurping your half-frozen blood.
    • The vampire's stare chills you to the bone, and the vampire drinks the chilled bone marrow.
    • The vampire's fingernails--so long and sharp they're almost talons--are as cold as unconsecrated earth as they dig into your neck.
    • The vampire's soulless gaze chills the very marrow of your bones. It turns out "Marrow-flavored Gelato" is one of the vampire's favorite treats.
    • The vampire's hands are cold as the grave, making a grave problem for you when they close around your neck.
    • The vampire sucks the heat, and the blood, from your body.
    • The vampire's breath is as cold as ice as he sucks your soul into his fanged maw.
  • If any elements are banished, starting combat with a cold Dreadsylvanian adds turns of Chilled to the Bone, giving one of the messages:
    • You shudder in the chilly air.
    • The joints in your knees start to creak from the horrible cold.
    • Your breath steams in the frigid air.
    • You gasp as the freezing air burns your lungs.
    • You briskly rub your arms, trying to warm yourself up.
    • You wince as a biting wind blows in your eyes, and you can feel your tears freezing on your cheeks.
    • You stomp your feet, trying to revive your cold-numbed toes.
Snowflake.gifYou acquire an effect: Chilled to the Bone
(duration: N Adventures)
  • Effect duration, N is the number of times a noncombat in in the village has modified monsters this run.
  • The name, image, and introduction text of this monster are all randomly selected:

You enter a small parlor and find a man in a light linen suit lounging comfortably in front of an empty fireplace. "A guest!" he says as you enter, standing and bowing politely. His breath doesn't fog in the chill air the way yours is. "Come in, come in. I always say, a cold drink is marvelously refreshing in this heat."

"Er, no thank you," you say. "It's actually pretty cold in here..."

"I'm afraid you mistake me," he says with a shake of his head. "I wasn't offering you one."

Judging from the large glass windows all down one side of this corridor, you must be in the external wall of the castle, or at least one that overlooks a courtyard. The windows are encrusted with frost, which is unusual as you don't remember it being that cold outside when you got here. You stroll down the hall, marvelling at the beauty of the elaborate crystalline lace of ice upon the glass. Down at the other end of the hall, you find a window that's oddly free of frost. A thin bald man in a tattered black cloak stands in front of the window, and reaches up to touch it with long spindly fingers. Blooms of frost spread out across the glass at his touch, and with long fluid gestures he covers the window with shimmering tracers of ice.

"That's very pretty," you say. The man turns quickly, plainly startled by your presence, then leaps at you with fangs bared.

Deep in the winding corridors of the castle, you encounter the coolest vampire you've ever met. His snow-white skin sets off his icy blue eyes, and he freezes you in your tracks with a frosty glare that is as cold as ice, and chills you to your bones.

And yes, I meant all of that literally.

You push open a squeaking wooden door in the depths of the castle, and discover a room filled with row after row of coffins. This must be where all the vampires that live here keep their spares, or at least some of them. Wait a minute, what's that in the corner? You make your way down an aisle and find what appears to be a chest freezer plugged into the wall. Do they keep a backup supply of blood in here, in case one of the vampires wakes up and needs a noontime snack? You open the lid (it creeeeaks open, naturally) and find a vampire inside! He sits up, groggy and angry at having his beauty-sleep interrupted.