Clancy (monster)

From TheKolWiki
Jump to: navigation, search
Hammockbrogre.gif This content has been retired and is no longer available in game.

Monster ID 1338
Locations The Sorceress' Tower
Hit Points 500
Attack 150
Defense 165
Initiative 90
Meat None
Phylum dude
Elements None
Resistance 25%
Monster Parts Indeterminate
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Clancy You're fighting Clancy

As you walk up the stairs, there's a squeal of rage that ends in an oink of...uh...murderous intent. A pig-headed man carrying a medieval musical instrument steps out of the shadows. "Verily, it is thee, Jarlsberg! Thou hast threatened my master for the last time, thou sniveling blackguard!"

"Easy there, RenFest," you say, "I'm not Jarlsberg. How could you-oh, right. I'm embodying his avatar right now. Gotcha." Suddenly, your voice takes on a high, nasal timbre that it doesn't normally have. "And don't you dare touch me with those filthy hooves! I don't want to get swine flu! Really! You dare to threaten me with violence, Clancy the Pig-faced Minstrel? Hanging out with that brute Boris must have rubbed off on you."

"Dar'st thou to call me pig-faced? Very well, then. Have at thee, knave! The basest swine hath more honor than thou hast!"

"This is getting confusing," you say, in your normal voice."Let's just take a minute to--"but Clancy's already coming at you, swinging his lute and doing his best to bellow.

Hit Message(s):

Clancy gives you a trotter right across the <arm>. Argh! Oof! Ow! Eek!

Clancy cracks you one in the <face> with one of his trotters. Man, talk about a pork chop. Eek! Eek! Oof! Ouch!

Clancy smashes you with his crumhorn, and you crumple to the ground. Ooh! Ouch! Ooh! Argh!

Clancy shouts, "Prosciutto!" and leaps into the air, kicking you with his rear trotters. Ooh! Ouch! Ouch! Argh!

Clancy slices a couple of rashers off of your <skull>, squealing, "let us see how thou likest it!" Argh! Oof! Eek! Ow!

Clancy smacks you with his sackbut, which is only marginally more pleasant than butting you with his smacksack. Ooh! Ouch! Ouch! Ow!

Critical Hit Message:

not known

Miss Message(s):

not known

Fumble Message:

not known

After Combat

Clancy slumps over, blood trickling out of his snout. "I might have known I would meet my fate at the hands of the likes of thee, foul Jarlsberg," he snorts, "but it matters not, for Boris shall once again make short work of thy unpleasant plans." Clancy fades away, sucked back into the mirror realm from whence he came.

"Look, I'm sorry this had to--" you say as he disappears, but then your voice goes all weird again: "The muscle-bound buffoon known as Boris shall fall before me as well, pig-boy! Brain shall always triumph over brawn, provided the brain is put to use looking up spells to kick the crap out of brawn! None shall defeat Jarlsberg, the most powerful mage of all time!" Thunder rolls at that last proclamation, knocking huge chunks of the tower into the darkness below.

Man, having another voice in your head is the last thing you needed today. Especially when the voice is a fruity egocentric magician.

Occurs at The Sorceress's Chamber.


See Also